A shy hello..

[ThehollowNicki]

Hello, my name is Nick, I like to be called Nicki though, its been like that since I was a child, for some reason my mom decided to call me that, and it stuck. I'm 22 years old, I was born in September, and I've been fighting my true self for a long time.. I used to play with girls when I was a little guy.. Then came the online games, I wanted to be a girl so bad, that was my outlet, and now here I am, after repressing these feelings for a long time, I just burst.. I dont wanna be miserable anymore, so I've accepted myself, and I go see a therapist in two days.. I want to start my transition, and a friend told me to come here, as a place to vent.. That's my story, its hard to tell, but each time I do it gets easier.

[VickySGV]

Hi Nicki, welcome to the Playground. This is a place where we know what you are talking about there. I am 44 years older than you are, and did not have your access to the information about what you are back at your age. We have a good crew of folks your age to talk to here. Good to see you, your friend was right.

[Guest]

Well Miss Nicki with a shy hello...

Welcome, a bold hello to you! It's nice of you to drop by.

I'm extroverted gregarious JodyAnn. When I get insomnia, I'm like the late night DJ here. It's day in a lot of places in the rest of the world too and we have people from everywhere.

Sure you can vent, ask questions, get answers, feel free to be you. I'm a lot farther in my journey, but I started the same as you.

I always felt bad that the girls always got to play the mom and I always had to play the dad. It was worth it because I got to play with the girls. You will do fine.

Others will be along shortly I'm sure. Hug. JodyAnn

[ThehollowNicki]

I'm really glad I stopped fighting it, I feel like a brand new person, I'm happy I get to see a therapists, and start with my new life, there's really only one snag at the moment and that's my mother... I dont know how to tell her.

[VickySGV]

, there's really only one snag at the moment and that's my mother... I dont know how to tell her.

That is an issue for you and the therapist to work on!! You can however find out how others here at the Playground have done it and get some ideas.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Nicki,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

MaryEllen

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's Nicki. I'm glad to read your going to a therapist. My gender therapist and the stories i read here as well as the opportunity to share my own journey with others who understood helped me a great deal.

Take a deep breath and try to enjoy the journey.

Hugs,

Charlize

[JBfox]

Hey there, Nicki

Nice to meet you. I understand about using gaming as an out. Always awkward answering the question to why I always played as a girl, especially before I really had an answer. Good luck with your therapist, and I hope things go well with you.

~JB

[MarcieMarie12]

I played games too as an outlet. Not so much as a way to be a girl but just to occupy my mind with thoughts other than wanting to transition. The people here are very supportive and offer good advice. Glad to hear you're seeing a therapist, they helped me immensely.

Hugs,

Marcie

[gennee]

Hello Nicki and welcome to Laura's.

[Jani]

Nicki, The story definitely gets easier to tell each time it comes out.

Your therapist definitely should be able to assist you in coming to grips with how to communicate with your loved ones and friends. I had a hard time thinking about the discussion with my wife. We talked about it and what I might expect, along with a plan. It was good that I took this approach as I felt much more comfortable with the "talk". BTW, my wife is very much accepting of me.

Hugs,

Jani

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Welcome Nicki. Im glad you found us. I've also used video games as an outlet to present the real me. For me though, it wasn't enough.

Not only is this a good place to vent, it's a good place to get information from only those who have been in your situation before as well! These ladies and gentleman have given me great information to help complete my transition, and I'm sure they can help you out as well

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Nicki,

Welcome to the playground! It helped me a lot to play female characters, first with D&D, then Call of Cthulhu, then computer role playing games. I had a hard time coming out to folks, and I was very fearful. I first "came out as trans" when I started hanging out with the Radical Faeries (a queer spirituality group) in Washington D.C. in late 2001, and eventually came out to everyone else in 2014. By 2014 it was a lot easier, and with less fear, by then though I was a lot older. Our cultural climate is becoming easier for us trans folk nowadays in many places, and I moved to liberal California in 2011, so I have had an easy transition so far. Lots of nice, friendly, supportive folks here, enjoy.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Nicki. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[SoSarah]

Hi Nicki, tread with focus and your new world will so open up to you. Smile's... Sarah

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Welcome Nicki,

Well your friend steered you to the right place!

This is a wonderful place to meet people you can relate to, and the support here is unsurpassed.

We are many, and getting stronger.

LesleyAnne

[Guest KerryUK]

Welcome Nicki,

They're a fab bunch here. Feel free to ask questions, if one of us doesn't know the answer - somebody else will soon be along who will.

Kerry

[ThehollowNicki]

I had my first day of therapy today.. I think I did really well

[Charlize]

Congratulations, as long as your open and honest i'm sure you did. I remember my first visit. Couldn't wait to go back.

Hugs,

Charlize