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Not so worried about passing

Guest Robin Winter

By Guest Robin Winter,
in Passing As Your Target Gender

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Guest Robin Winter

Guest Robin Winter

Posted
Posted

I was one of those people who felt I would never pass. I still have moments of doubt, but a few recent experiences give me hope.

A month or so ago I was dropping my daughter off at school. We don't have a car so we were in a taxi. We pulled up to the school and got out. There was a middle age man walking the opposite way, and he turned to us with a big smile and said "Good morning, ladies".

About a week later, just before Christmas, I was with my daughter again passing through the mall, and we stopped at a local chocolatiers seasonal stand to see if there was something my wife might like, and the lady paused briefly in her conversation to say "How are you girls doing today?". I smiled huge and ended up walking away without buying anything because I knew my voice would spoil the experience.

About two weeks ago, I was in the grocery store to trade in the stamps we were collecting for a Jamie Oliver santoku knife, and the checkout I went to happened to have a new girl being trained. She didn't know how to ring it up with the stamp trade so the girl that was training her walked her through it and the entire time she used the pronouns "she" and "her" when referring to me.

Now, I'm not out at work, and I'm in a position where I work and live at the same place, so I pretty much can't walk out my front door unless I'm presenting male. So all 3 times I was in male mode and still got clocked female. So voice aside, I'm reasonably confident that I can pass with very little effort, and it's a nice feeling.

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Carolyn Marie Platinum Member

Carolyn Marie

Posted
  • Admin
Posted

That's great, Robin. The happiness that comes with your gender being validated never really goes away. I still like hearing it 5 years later. The voice and other issues will probably resolve themselves when you have more opportunity to practice IRL. Each success breeds more success. Continued good luck.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Charlize Rhodium Member

Charlize

Posted
  • Forum Moderator
Posted

I am still amazed and pleased when i get a mam or a female pronoun. It surprises me at times because i'm just being me and for so many years others got it wrong. Give yourself a few extra visual clues and you'll certainly have no problem voice or no voice!

Hugs,

Charlize

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MarcieMarie12 Ruthenium Member

MarcieMarie12

Posted
Posted

I especially like it from random strangers on the street, especially gentlemen who open the doors for you (love it!!)

--Marcie

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Guest Mickey

Guest Mickey

Posted
Posted

I was kind of worried about passing before I started HRT. When I had the correct hormone levels in my system, and all the depression went away, I was truly happy and knew I wasn't ever going back. I quit wondering if I would ever pass. I was already happy. Well, being happy combined with just being myself, dressing comfortably, wearing my hair how liked it, all these things have me being properly gendered by the general public. That adds to the happiness and I seem to have a permanent smile affixed to my face. The joy and contentment found by being my true self is something I can never give up. So it no longer matters to me what people may think of me.

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  • 3 weeks later...
lonelysadie Junior Member

lonelysadie

Posted
Posted

I was one of those people who felt I would never pass. I still have moments of doubt, but a few recent experiences give me hope.

A month or so ago I was dropping my daughter off at school. We don't have a car so we were in a taxi. We pulled up to the school and got out. There was a middle age man walking the opposite way, and he turned to us with a big smile and said "Good morning, ladies".

About a week later, just before Christmas, I was with my daughter again passing through the mall, and we stopped at a local chocolatiers seasonal stand to see if there was something my wife might like, and the lady paused briefly in her conversation to say "How are you girls doing today?". I smiled huge and ended up walking away without buying anything because I knew my voice would spoil the experience.

About two weeks ago, I was in the grocery store to trade in the stamps we were collecting for a Jamie Oliver santoku knife, and the checkout I went to happened to have a new girl being trained. She didn't know how to ring it up with the stamp trade so the girl that was training her walked her through it and the entire time she used the pronouns "she" and "her" when referring to me.

Now, I'm not out at work, and I'm in a position where I work and live at the same place, so I pretty much can't walk out my front door unless I'm presenting male. So all 3 times I was in male mode and still got clocked female. So voice aside, I'm reasonably confident that I can pass with very little effort, and it's a nice feeling.

That's great! I'm wondering how you are pulling it off? When do you go "female" vs. going out the door male? I'm sort of thinking of trying that myself, but not sure how to go about doing it...

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Guest Robin Winter

Guest Robin Winter

Posted
Posted

Now, I'm not out at work, and I'm in a position where I work and live at the same place, so I pretty much can't walk out my front door unless I'm presenting male. So all 3 times I was in male mode and still got clocked female. So voice aside, I'm reasonably confident that I can pass with very little effort, and it's a nice feeling.

That's great! I'm wondering how you are pulling it off? When do you go "female" vs. going out the door male? I'm sort of thinking of trying that myself, but not sure how to go about doing it...

Not sure what you mean exactly. How am I pulling what off? I could be wrong, but I feel like you're under the impression that I leave in male mode then I do something while I'm out to present female. That's not the case. Some people are just seeing me as female regardless of how I'm dressed (yay!)

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lonelysadie Junior Member

lonelysadie

Posted
Posted

Now, I'm not out at work, and I'm in a position where I work and live at the same place, so I pretty much can't walk out my front door unless I'm presenting male. So all 3 times I was in male mode and still got clocked female. So voice aside, I'm reasonably confident that I can pass with very little effort, and it's a nice feeling.

That's great! I'm wondering how you are pulling it off? When do you go "female" vs. going out the door male? I'm sort of thinking of trying that myself, but not sure how to go about doing it...

Not sure what you mean exactly. How am I pulling what off? I could be wrong, but I feel like you're under the impression that I leave in male mode then I do something while I'm out to present female. That's not the case. Some people are just seeing me as female regardless of how I'm dressed (yay!)

You were right and glad its working out for you.

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StephanieVikingGirl Ruthenium Member

StephanieVikingGirl

Posted
Posted

Hi Robin,

Yep, it is a great feeling to be accepted, and gendered correctly, even better if it happens no matter how you are dressed. :)

hugs,

Stephanie

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