I kissed a guy...

[shayla98]

And I hate to say I think I liked it...but so confused.

I'm only a straight closeted crossdresser who found some time to walk around the hotel dressed up the other night.

Getting the usual looks from passerbys. I bravely decided to get a drink from the hotel bar and then a man in his 40s wearing an open collar burgundy shirt and black slacks sitting next to me. I try not to turn my head towards him because he's giving me this stare that he wants my number. I get so nervous that I want to leave before I finish my drink. I haven had a long conversation with anyone as Shayla, let alone another man. I could tell he was a little drunk because his group of friends we on the other side of the room. He gets out of his chair to approach me. This time I'm sweating so bad.

I immediately get up and give him a quick look and leave the bar with my cash tab next to my drink.

He says, Hey wait. I want to talk to you. He beats be to the main entrance(cursed these heels) and we have a small conversation. He says that I'm pretty and wearing a nice outfit(which i actually enjoyed)I struggle with my 'voice' because I'm so nervous. He asks me am I from here and I make up a small story on the spot that I'm vacationing. I wanted to make up a boyfriend or a husband but I was so nervous .He wanted my number and I resisted and tried to walk away from him. He showed me pictures of his three kids. He couldn't stop saying how pretty i was and why am i single? He told me to smile. for him and I just gave a sigh did to flatter him back. I said bye to him and walked away. I actually felt great that a man gave me so much attention, but scared at the same time. I could tell he was going to follow me again. I wanted to get back to my room.

I pulled out my card and dropped it. All of a sudden he was right there to pick it up from the floor for me. Before I could reach it, he grabs it and offers to walk me to my room. I said please no because I don't want my other 'girlfriends' to see you with me. He said he was sorry and gave me a hug when our eyes met after the hug, he went in and gave me a kiss right on my mouth. When he opened his mouth to probe his tongue, i wanted to pull back and run but i waited five seconds until his hands were rubbingo the back of my thighs and that's when pushed him away. He wipes my lipstick of his mouth and gives a little smirk. I could tell he was a little drunk even though he smelled like cologne. I didnt want him to think i was that kind of girl. I'm not even that kind of male. I said bye for the second time and walked around again, until I lost him, then I found the elevator back to my room.

Getting kissed by a guy? I know i wanted to experience some things as Shaya but getting kissed on the cheek let alone the lips wouldve been further on my lips. I'm a married straight man and getting kissed as Shayla left me confused wondering why i didn't push him away immediately? What that Shayla wanting more? Does she have needs that I didn't know about?

[Guest Denise007]

Hon, a single woman in a hotel in a bar is an easy mark most men assume that's why you are there. Please be careful in the future!

"Straight" is a word with no meaning (opinion)

[Charlize]

I think you may have mis-titled this post. You were kissed by a guy. There is a big difference. You were not actively seeking that attention and are new enough to the female role that you weren't ready for the onslaught. This might be a good lesson for you as to why women travel with at least one friend in almost every situation. We may have to learn that the hard way. Fortunately for you you were in a public space.

Now as to the way you felt. I have been kissed by a guy and like you am married and consider myself only attracted to women. I will admit he was a good kisser and it wasn't such a horrible experience at all. i actually enjoyed it if i'm honest. It only goes to show me that many of my feelings may be variable. That being said i prefer my kisses at home. I'm careful when out and since i stopped drinking have had a safer life with no bar scene.

Hugs,

Charlize

[shayla98]

Thanks Charlize. Sorry for the title. Trying to play on words from the Katy Perry song. Thanks for sharing that this has happened to you. I really had a heterosexual 'girl' moment after that kiss while twirling my hair and biting my lip. But once back in drab, I didn't enjoy it anymore, just confused. Yes, I prefer kisses at home as well. I'm still getting used to the occasional gawks and flirts. And yes, I'll be careful of my surroundings when dressed up.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Str8 men don't wear dresses! Most people are some sort of Bi and observe the local social norms or taboos. Your lucky you did not

attract the hotel management. If you want to go out alone, go to a safe place like a gay bar. If your on the road a lot, you should try

a gay hotel or B&B. Some are very popular with crossdressers. Stay safe hun.

[shayla98]

Clair, my intention is to blend in as a woman in regular everyday public settings, since I'm very passable. Unfortunately it worked too well at the bar. Maybe I'll stay away from bars for a while. Though I'll be more careful next time and probably go with someone. Thanks

[Guest Denise007]

In the 80s I dated men that didn't "know" even made the mistake of falling in love with one, it ended badly,

"Be carful what you wish for" is my motto. After 10-15 years in lesbian relationships and 2 marriage proposals from drunk unemployed butch girlfriends I went back to men but way too many years have gone by,since old guys are seeking young stuff anyway. Not dead yet but I have lots of memories to cherish and reflect on

[Guest KerryUK]

Thanks for posting Shayla,

Lessons learned indeed and it even made me sit up and take note.

Charlize had a very good point:-

...........This might be a good lesson for you as to why women travel with at least one friend in almost every situation........

It reminds me of a conversation I had with a female colleague (before I 'came out') about how, if she was away on business trips, she was always very very careful about having an evening meal and drinks in a hotel whilst on her own. She said that some men just see that as a 'green light' and see it as almost a RIGHT that they have ACCESS to that female on her own. She said that once they've had a few drinks - they become less inhibited and almost forget their responsibilities to their wives and kids. Ewwwww.

Yes, a wake-up call for you indeed (and me too).

Kerry

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Shayla,

Congrats on blending in well as a woman! Yep, guys who are drinking seem to have only one thing on their minds. I remember my first adult guy kiss on the mouth, back before I came out to the general public, it was awkward for me since it felt so normal, if that makes sense. At the time I thought that I was fooling folks into thinking that I was a straight male, but I really didn't even know myself well. Of course nowadays I readily admit to being bi-sexual, but mostly attracted to guys. Heck, a few months back I learned that I was intersex, and never fully male. Who knew? LOL.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest erinanita]

I had to be diagnosed as having an intersex condition before I realized that I didn't have a normal sex life. I just had no sex drive. But I did know what it was like to be aroused. I was turned on by a guy who thought I was gay. It was a great experience but I was afraid to be gay. But I never went into a bar alone before or after transition. During transition I always hung out and went shopping with a group and even then we were harassed by men under the influence. It can be a really scary experience.

Erin