On being L.

[lachallenger]

It's taken me a very long time to gather the nerve up to actually post something about myself, and I don't want it to be a novel, as such.

My background first - I am 42 years of age - and I have known who I was since the 90s.

I had a lot of stupid destructive misplaced anger when I was growing up - and I have always had an issue with mirrors, that still affects me to this day.

The anger is now, long gone - and I could never be sure of its source.

I first confronted the Big Issue with my mother when I was in my 20s, not that long after my first sexual experiences.

A lot changed since then - as life tends to - alienation by a family that was far more interested in Bibles than in kindness or understanding - and that was simply over the idea that someone could date someone else that was the same gender.

I have found that I had to wear a mask to even go about daily life - something I am told was normal.

Nature provided me with the best of all disguises - but without the ability to ever set down the lie gathered by arbitrary and uncaring biology, to show all who I really am, and have been.

I chose a name, having now no close family left alive and no desire whatever to carry the markedly Biblical name my beloved mother gave to me those 42 years and change ago.

I am L. I introduce myself using that initial, with the explanation that it's short for a long name - Lunitaria.

It's an odd and unusual name - but it's my own.

[MaryEllen]

Hello L,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

MaryEllen

[Jani]

Hello L and welcome. We're glad you found us and have made that important first post. I know it's hard, but it can get easier. Please join in the conversation. We'd love to hear from you.

Jani

[VickySGV]

At last you come to your own identity!! I had to add another 18 years to your age before I was able to claim my identity, but now it is out and the identity is mine at last. Welcome to the group here, where we do not judge you on how you see yourself or who you are to become.

[Guest Mickey]

Welcome to the family L. And I must say that Lunitaria is simply, a beautiful name.

[tracy_j]

Hi L

Pleased to meet you

We have a friendly crowd here with lots of experiences. Please don't hesitate to ask and post

An I think Lunitaria is a beautiful name as well

Tracy x

[Charlize]

Welcome L. I'm glad you have joined us here with such an honest post. Finding acceptance of ourselves is so important. Unfortunately others may lag behind or may be blinded by their expectations in a way that keeps them from ever understanding.

Fortunately we are not alone in our experiences and i have found this to be a safe place to share and read of others.

Hugs,

Charlize

[gennee]

A hearty welcome to Laura's, L. I'm so happy that you have accepted who you are.