Coming out at the age of 31

[Ashley218]

Hello everyone,

I'm a 31 year old male at birth. I've always felt very feminine, but just in recent days I've had constant strong desires, urges, and fantasies of being a woman. I've told my psychiatrist, and yesterday told my mom. She was supportive at first, but later in the day broke down. This is so tough!

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Ashley. I took the liberty of moving your post to the Introductions Forum. Yes, being trans, and the process of transitioning, can be very tough. Your mother's reaction is quite common. There is a period of grieving, and in the case of parents, fear for your future. As time goes on, keep talking to her about it, and reassure her that it doesn't mean she is losing you, or that your life will be less happy than it might have been. In fact, it should be happier for you, and she should be glad for that. You can show her examples you'll find on the Internet, including Youtube, of women who have transitioned and are leading great lives.

Please look around the forums and read threads that seem interesting. You'll find answers to a lot of your questions, and if you don't, you're welcome to start a thread and ask.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Ashley218]

Thank you so much! ?

[Guest Denise007]

Welcome aboard Ashley!

[catherine61]

Hi Ashley welcome with us

Catherine

[jeanniesauve']

Welcome,what a great age to come to know yourself.Lots of help here,...good information,kind people.Success,Ashley...do not dispare,coming to know this side of you can be very life resolving...but it takes some time and some formulas,...tried and true."You are not alone!"

jeannie

[Ashley218]

Thanks everyone!

[Ashley218]

I just look at my body and it isn't right. I so badly want a vagina. I know it will be expensive.

[Guest Denise007]

Ashley, what are you doing to become what you want?

I also started in my early 30's had no plan, was married, lost it all, became a drunk, homeless, and $150,000 in debt. You don't want to follow that path, trust me on that!

[Jani]

Hello Ashley, Yes this is definitely hard! I can testify to that. There is definitely a period of grieving for parents. Mine are accepting but it is hard for them none the less, particularly my Dad. My Mother expressed concern for my safety very soon after I came out to them. I reassured her that I was careful in my travels. She knows where they live is less open and accepting than where I am.

As Carolyn suggests, talk to your mother and reassure her that this will make you happy and that you'll always be her child, no matter how old or what gender you are. Just like with us, for parents the fear of the unknown is very hard to live with. Don't smother her with information right away as this may scare and/or alienate her.

Denise is correct on having a plan. It gives you a map to follow where you can track your progress. Your counselor can assist you here. Now recognize that it will need to be adjusted from time to time as you move along your way. I've tweaked my plan several times and feel good about the path I'm on.

Jani

[Ashley218]

Honestly just getting started with my thoughts. This is so new.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Ashley,

All I can really say is welcome. I've only been here (Laura's Playground) a few days now. I've already found it to be a wonderful place where I've gotten understanding, compassion, and some good advice. In just a few days, it's already making a difference in my life. I'm not alone! I hope you find it to be just as wonderful and just as helpfull.?

[Ashley218]

Thanks Wolf! ??

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's Ashley. I'm glad you found us. I found a great deal of support and knowledge here and continue to do so. Take your time. I know i was in a hurry but in time started to simply try to enjoy each day of the journey. Finding acceptance has been the biggest challenge and continues to give the biggest rewards.

Hugs,

Charlize

[MaryEllen]

Hello Ashley,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Feel free to ask questions. We'll try to provide answers.

MaryEllen

[VickySGV]

Hi Ashley, I am not really sure I can give any good answers to your questions, but I can put in my two bits worth of opinion. It will be the opinion of a girl who through circumstances beyond her real control, didn't really get going until she was twice your age.

[Ashley218]

Thanks ladies! ??

[Guest KerryUK]

Welcome Ashley, they're a good bunch here - just ask away and somebody will be along to answer.

Kerry

[Guest]

Welcome to LP, Ashley.

Huggs,

Joann

[Ashley218]

Thank you!

[Guest JuliaJem]

Hi Ashley,

Welcome to the boards, this is a great community of individuals who are supportive and loving.

I came out to myself and some close family and friends about being transgender at 30. I'm still myself figuring it out what it all means.

This is a great place where one can just be themselves really.

Cheers,

Julia

[Ashley218]

Thanks Julia! I talked to my mom today and she was slightly more supportive. She said she even did research online this morning on transgender and how it happens.

[gennee]

Hi Ashley and welcome to Laura's. I came out when I was 56. You are way ahead of me. Embrace all the positives you have and enjoy the journey.