Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Breakthrough (minor)


Guest AshleighP

Recommended Posts

Guest AshleighP

I posted last week about losing a good friend, and how that made me realize how short life on earth actually is. My wife and I went wine tasting on Saturday, something we often do on the weekend. When we got home, she asked me why I never wear my women's clothes when she's home. I told her it was because I knew she didn't like it. Her response was "I think it would be ok for you to wear whatever you want around the house. I know it is one of the few things that makes you happy, and I want you to be happy." I wanted to dance with joy, but I managed a very low key "ok, thanks". I also wanted to jump off the couch and get dressed, but decided to wait for another time. I think baby steps would be the appropriate way to handle this so as to not freak her out. The occasional skirt or top, then on to more elaborate dressing.

This may seem like a small victory, but for me it was HUGE! I hope someday to be able to completely dress whenever the mood strikes, Without fear of judgement.

Thank you all for the support and advice y'all have offered in the past, and for this site where I can express my thoughts and feelings openly. It has made a big difference in my life.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Thank you for the morning's smile. :thumbsup:

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest (S)hE-W0lf

I hope this goes well for you, it certainly sounds like a breakthrough. May you have many wonderful femininity filled days.

I'm sure not everyone had the same or anyone even had a similar experiences but after my girlfriend initially said it would be alright if I dressed whenever we were at home together and she helped me with my makeup and hair and nails a few times I was relieved that I didn't have to hide this side of me, but after trying it several times I realised that I feel differently about the dressing around her then when I am on my own. It's not that I don't want to or don't have permission or don't think of it and my gender more often than I eat when she's here but when dressed around her I feel like a guy in drag and it just feels wrong. When she's not here and I go about my things I feel a lot more feminine and at ease, I can almost convince myself that I'm not weird for doing this.

But I digress, you are one lucky girl and your other half sounds like a superb, loving person.

Hugs

Lynn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

A good step forward Ashleigh :)

I found it nice to get to the stage where I can be dressed very feminine when I want, which these days is mostly, without my partner raising her eyebrows. I found the secret in my case was to take it slowly (essentially by stealth) so there are no sudden shocks, although I do remember the 'You're wearing a dress!' a couple of years ago when we were on holiday and I came out of the bedroom in a dress. It was pretty much the first time I had presented to her as girly. That would get little comment these days, although a week ago I wore a short skirt with bare legs around the house and my partner said 'It's not summer yet!' I don't think she was impressed but it did not escalate at all. I have never had the Ok to wear things as such but to be sitting here without getting any kind of negative response is good. Just accepted :)

Tracy

Link to comment

Hi Ashleigh. That's wonderful news. Iam sorta in the same situation with my wife. I totaly agree that baby steps are the way to go. Good luck. Hugs. Amber L.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Eve Caillard

Ashleigh, great news for you! I live for the day my wife would say the same, but she's not so easy-going. Well done and enjoy!

Hugs

Eve

Link to comment

Hi Ashleigh.Thats really good news that you are slowly being accepted by your partner,it must be an amazing feeling.It is so good to hear stories like this which gives the rest of us some hope.

Fond Regards

Christine

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 154 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • SamC
    • Betty K
    • LaurenA
    • MaryEllen
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ivy
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,058
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Aleksandria
    Newest Member
    Aleksandria
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Jani
      I used to but now its just lip gloss every now and then, in a subdued tone.
    • Ivy
      Yeah, a lot of times I don't really have anything to add to the conversation. There are some threads I seldom post on.
    • Ivy
      I have seen some things about this.  As I remember it was not very trans-friendly. The people doing these things seem to minimize the positive aspects of transition, and maximize the potential problems. Basically, make it as difficult as possible (without outright banning it) to discourage anyone from doing it.
    • Willow
      Good morning    woke up to some light rain this morning.  Maybe I should run out with a giant umbrella to cover the car.   Ha ha ha.     I’ve had really nice cars before but never something like this.     @KymmieL I hope you got to go on your ride. Back when I had my Harley we went out for a ride almost every weekend. We would head either SW down the Shenandoah Valley or Skyline Drive which danced along the tops of the Mountains or we would head west into West Virginia and just travel along until it was time to find our way home.   occasionally I wish I still had a bike but I usually quickly for get that. The only thing I ever wanted as a young person that I never had was a late 50s vette.      
    • April Marie
      I admit to wearing make-up. Actually, I'll admit to enjoying wearing make-up. For me, it's been part of learning about myself as a woman and finding a style and look that reflects my personality.    Sometimes, it will just be a bit of mascara and a touch of lipstick. But, most often I wear foundation with setting powder, gel eyeliner, mascara, a little blush on my cheek line and lipstick. I also use an eyebrow pencil to darken my brows a bit.  Infrequently, I will add some eye shadow.   Most of my make-up is from Mary Kay although my lipsticks or from various manufacturers and eyeliners are mostly Maybelline. My wife purchases most of her make-up from Mary Kay and so we order together from our local representative. Of course, I don't have much brand experience but I'm happy with the Mary Kay products and find myself transitioning almost entirely to their line of make-up.
    • KathyLauren
      I did early on, out of necessity.  Regardless of how close you shave, beard shadow shows through.  I just used a bit of foundation, setting powder and blush.    I didn't use much eye makeup.  I started out with a bit of eye liner, but I thought it gave me a "trying too hard" look.  So I mostly didn't use any.   With covid and masking, I stopped using makeup altogether.  Why bother when no one can see your face and the mask smears the makeup anyway?   When restrictions were lifted, I didn't go back to wearing makeup.  My face feminized quite nicely over the first few years of HRT.  I'll never be pretty, but I look more female than male.  (Or I like to tell myself that anyway.)  With several years of electrolysis, and with what facial hair remains turning white, I don't have much beard shadow, so there is nothing to cover up.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Do you use make-up? If so, why and what  types?
    • Heather Shay
      Pride is primarily about yourself, even when it is not you who did something that you are proud about. You can also be proud of something someone else did, who you associate with, such as your children or your favorite football team. People can feel proud of their culture, their family name, or their appearance, none of which require them to actively contribute to the praiseworthy thing1. However, the opinions of others are of crucial importance, as best demonstrated when you purposefully do something that other people praise. Pride is a social emotion, and to feel proud, you need other people’s (real or imagined) confirmation that you have a reason to feel that way. Because of this, other people can also ‘be in your head’ and prevent you from feeling pride. Namely, what is praiseworthy is subjective. Things that may be considered good in a certain (cultural) group may not be praiseworthy in another (e.g., if you grew up in a family that greatly values academics, your athletic abilities may not evoke much praise). Moreover, what is praiseworthy is relative (e.g., if you are a good runner in an athletically average school, you may regularly feel proud about your times; but if you move to a school with highly competent athletes, these same times may seem unremarkable to you). Thus, the more exclusive your quality is in your surroundings, the prouder you feel. Pride has recognizable features. Although its static facial expression (typically a smile or laugh) does not clearly distinguish it from other positive emotions, it typically results in a bodily posture, gestures, and behavior that are clearly recognizable: lifting your chin, looking people in the eye, walking confidently, or in extreme cases, raising arms above your head. In a way, you try to make yourself larger and more noticeable, as if to say: ‘look at me!’ You may also exhibit more perseverance in your activities2. People generally find it very pleasant to experience pride, as it elevates our feeling of social self-worth and status3. At the same time, many social groups, religions, and cultures (especially those that are highly collectivistic, such as the East Asian or African culture) believe that pride needs to be checked. Unchecked pride leads to arrogance and misplaced feelings of superiority (‘letting something get to your head’, ‘hubris comes before the fall’), and social groups typically do not tolerate members feeling like they are superior or deserve special treatment.  
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Thank you @missyjo! You do wonders for my ego.   It turns out that pastel colors were the "thing" at Kentucky Derby Day so my dress was perfect. I went with white 5" heeled sandals and a wide-brimmed fuscia hat. Dinner and Mint Juleps added to the fun of watching the (recorded) festivities and races.   Perhaps, we'll repeat it for the Preakness in 2 weeks.   Right now it's just blue striped sleep shorts with pink flowers, a pink t-shirt and flip flops. I can't tell you how much wearing  sleep-rated breast forms at night has done to quell my dysphoria. 
    • April Marie
      I can still rock 5" heels.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!   My wife and I had our yearly Kentucky Derby Day evening. Dresses, heels, hats, Mint Juleps and a light dinner while watching the festivities and races. Relaxing and fun. I think we'll do the same for the Preakness in two weeks.   It's rainy and cool here today so it's pretty much going to keep me indoors. Ahh, well. A day of rest.   Enjoy and be safe!!

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...