Hi from San Diego

[Guest]

Hi Wendy and welcome. I'm just up the street from you in north county. I also have Kaiser and as far as insurances go, it's one of the better ones. That's particularly true in CA. They are very good when it comes to confidentiality, protecting health information, and appropriately sharing between providers. You'll have more control over that with Kaiser vs. other insurance companies.

As far as where you want to go, you can determine that with the help and support of therapist as well as others that you've mentioned. Regardless, in the end it's up to you and you don't need anyone's approval. We'll take ya however! This is a really good forum and though I've only been here a short time, I feel very welcome. There are some really caring knowledgable and supportive people here.

Thanks! I hope to meet some people irl at some point. I may never want to fully transition, or even be "out" to the general public, and I wonder how Kaiser would handle that. I might just want hormones for now, and think about other things later...

[Guest]

Thank you, everyone, you have made me feel most welcome.

[Guest]

Welcome to the Playground Wendy. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest]

I've been reading various posts here and elsewhere, and get the impression that there is a hierarchy - pre-op or non-op, especially non- "passable" people seem to be looked down upon, or at least viewed with suspicion. Perhaps not so much in this forum, but in the wider community. I find that sad and frightening, as I have serious reasons for wanting to go very slowly, and possibly never be "out" in a general sense.

[tracy_j]

Don't worry Wendy

There is no hierarchy as such but I think it is human nature to form into little groups with like feelings and defend one's views. Occasionally I do get the feelings that you are experiencing but don't forget that those who you feel are grouping against you may be experiencing their own worries.

I am somewhat like you as I am progressing very slowly. I am not on hormone therapy and do not see any surgery in the near future, if at all. There are a good number of people here who are in a similar position as the spectrum is very broad. There is not really a start or end point as such as life is a progression so even after surgery there is still much to learn. Generally experience brings wisdom and understanding so people may be appearing superior but generally that is perhaps a result of an unempatic approach to their post.

Personally I cannot comment on other sites as I have not visited them. I would expect some to be poor as this is the case with most things on the internet.

Here on Laura's, if you ever feel that something is not right please say or ask a moderator publicly or in private. It is likely that if you are seeing problems then others may be as well. Things may get heated at times but we are all here to help each other.

Tracy

[Guest KerryUK]

Tracy,

Thank you so much for putting that so eloquently.

Wendy,

I was really cross when I read what you were afraid of - not at you but FOR you. There are so many different shades in the transgender spectrum and just because someone is one shade doesn't make that right over another. Ever since I started out myself, I have made it very clear that I am strictly against any hierarchical structure based on how far a person chooses to travel along this journey - that's personal to them and none of my business. I have seen what you have mentioned but it was elsewhere and I personally think that it is an outdated attitude anyway - I don't have the patience nor respect for it.

You may already realise from reading some of my posts here that I'm an advocate of moving along slowly. Somebody on a forum once said to me 'slowly, slowly catchee monkey' which became a motto for me through my own transition - it was particularly important for me in the early stages when I wanted everything, and I wanted it NOW. It worked for me Wendy, so if you feel it's right for you - then you take all the time you need.

Anyway, I'll climb down off my soapbox now

[VickySGV]

I've been reading various posts here and elsewhere, and get the impression that there is a hierarchy - pre-op or non-op, especially non- "passable" people seem to be looked down upon, or at least viewed with suspicion. Perhaps not so much in this forum, but in the wider community. I find that sad and frightening, as I have serious reasons for wanting to go very slowly, and possibly never be "out" in a general sense.

Very thankfully, while this used to be the case, it is beginning to change, especially in the larger communities such as exists in your area. Interestingly enough, some of the leaders in this change are people who are the actual Post-op people who in today's world do not have to hide or be stealth in the cis community as they had to be in the 60's through very recently. It is still true to some degree in areas where acceptance and toleration are very low and the TG people have to form "gated communities" to find a safe haven. In your area, there are a goodly number of places where you can navigate between the genders in relative safety and with friendships among other Trans* folk. Medical treatment on levels ranging for simple counseling with no medications needed up through minor to major surgeries are not the scarce resource they once were. People do not have to fight for those resources and thus with competition lessened there is room for more inclusion and for empathy in the ranks for those who are a work in progress that is the tortoise pace and not the jack-rabbit speed. As my circle of actual Post GCS friends grows so is our realization of how much things other than the surgery assisted us in becoming our True Selves, and those who "came up through the ranks" still highly value our friends. brothers and sisters who are happy and complete at some step less extreme than ours was. None of my close friends regret what we have done, but in knowing now what it does not do gives us a milder and gentler approach to those who are just coming to grips with their questionable gift of GD. I for one certainly do not see myself as better or higher up the food chain from the younger person I met recently whose journey at the minute has been going without a hair cut for three months now to look less <gender> stereotypical, and who likes to dance facing a mirror in a TG club.

[Jani]

Wendy,

As Kerry said "...in the early stages when I wanted everything, and I wanted it NOW." That was me too but I quickly realized that this is hard at times, and I needed to take the time to absorb the changes as they come. I also realized that I was "overdriving my headlights", to use a racing analogy for going faster than your brain can process information.

I thought I knew where I wanted to end up but today I may not be so sure of that. Most importantly I am having a great time exploring the many opportunities in front of me and finally being myself. This is what I suggest to you, be open minded and enjoy the ride wherever it takes you.

Hugs,

Jani

[Guest]

Wendy,

As Kerry said "...in the early stages when I wanted everything, and I wanted it NOW." That was me too but I quickly realized that this is hard at times, and I needed to take the time to absorb the changes as they come. I also realized that I was "overdriving my headlights", to use a racing analogy for going faster than your brain can process information.

I thought I knew where I wanted to end up but today I may not be so sure of that. Most importantly I am having a great time exploring the many opportunities in front of me and finally being myself. This is what I suggest to you, be open minded and enjoy the ride wherever it takes you.

Hugs,

Jani

Thank you. I will try to do that. I'm glad I found this forum first - it seems to be the best! I do often wish I had unlimited funds and could rush out and fully transition immediately, but in a way it's good that I have a lot of impediments - I can go slow, and listen to my therapist, and get a lot of help to fully figure things out.

[Guest]

I've been reading various posts here and elsewhere, and get the impression that there is a hierarchy - pre-op or non-op, especially non- "passable" people seem to be looked down upon, or at least viewed with suspicion. Perhaps not so much in this forum, but in the wider community. I find that sad and frightening, as I have serious reasons for wanting to go very slowly, and possibly never be "out" in a general sense.

Very thankfully, while this used to be the case, it is beginning to change, especially in the larger communities such as exists in your area. Interestingly enough, some of the leaders in this change are people who are the actual Post-op people who in today's world do not have to hide or be stealth in the cis community as they had to be in the 60's through very recently. It is still true to some degree in areas where acceptance and toleration are very low and the TG people have to form "gated communities" to find a safe haven. In your area, there are a goodly number of places where you can navigate between the genders in relative safety and with friendships among other Trans* folk. Medical treatment on levels ranging for simple counseling with no medications needed up through minor to major surgeries are not the scarce resource they once were. People do not have to fight for those resources and thus with competition lessened there is room for more inclusion and for empathy in the ranks for those who are a work in progress that is the tortoise pace and not the jack-rabbit speed. As my circle of actual Post GCS friends grows so is our realization of how much things other than the surgery assisted us in becoming our True Selves, and those who "came up through the ranks" still highly value our friends. brothers and sisters who are happy and complete at some step less extreme than ours was. None of my close friends regret what we have done, but in knowing now what it does not do gives us a milder and gentler approach to those who are just coming to grips with their questionable gift of GD. I for one certainly do not see myself as better or higher up the food chain from the younger person I met recently whose journey at the minute has been going without a hair cut for three months now to look less <gender> stereotypical, and who likes to dance facing a mirror in a TG club.

Thank you. I'm sorry I don't respond often or at length right now, I have a lot going on with work, and moving, and etc. I really appreciate you and everyone here.

[Guest]

Tracy,

Thank you so much for putting that so eloquently.

Wendy,

I was really cross when I read what you were afraid of - not at you but FOR you. There are so many different shades in the transgender spectrum and just because someone is one shade doesn't make that right over another. Ever since I started out myself, I have made it very clear that I am strictly against any hierarchical structure based on how far a person chooses to travel along this journey - that's personal to them and none of my business. I have seen what you have mentioned but it was elsewhere and I personally think that it is an outdated attitude anyway - I don't have the patience nor respect for it.

You may already realise from reading some of my posts here that I'm an advocate of moving along slowly. Somebody on a forum once said to me 'slowly, slowly catchee monkey' which became a motto for me through my own transition - it was particularly important for me in the early stages when I wanted everything, and I wanted it NOW. It worked for me Wendy, so if you feel it's right for you - then you take all the time you need.

Anyway, I'll climb down off my soapbox now

Thank you! You are very kind.

[Guest]

Don't worry Wendy

There is no hierarchy as such but I think it is human nature to form into little groups with like feelings and defend one's views. Occasionally I do get the feelings that you are experiencing but don't forget that those who you feel are grouping against you may be experiencing their own worries.

I am somewhat like you as I am progressing very slowly. I am not on hormone therapy and do not see any surgery in the near future, if at all. There are a good number of people here who are in a similar position as the spectrum is very broad. There is not really a start or end point as such as life is a progression so even after surgery there is still much to learn. Generally experience brings wisdom and understanding so people may be appearing superior but generally that is perhaps a result of an unempatic approach to their post.

Personally I cannot comment on other sites as I have not visited them. I would expect some to be poor as this is the case with most things on the internet.

Here on Laura's, if you ever feel that something is not right please say or ask a moderator publicly or in private. It is likely that if you are seeing problems then others may be as well. Things may get heated at times but we are all here to help each other.

Tracy

Thank you so much, Tracy.

[Guest]

Hi!

Hi!

[Guest]

Went to an in-person group tonight. A couple of friends went with me for support. It was scary but interesting. I think I will go again.

[VickySGV]

:thumbsup:

[Guest]

I got up the nerve to email my psychiatrist at Kaiser and she got me in to the Transgender Services Orientation next Tuesday. I'm a bundle of mixed emotions, but happy to be moving forward in some way.

[VickySGV]

Wow -- That is so great Wendy. Knowing what is available will give you a framework or if you will, a compass course to use in what is to come. Just having a direction was a real problem for me 9 years ago when I first came to grips with who and what I was. So super, you will learn what is there, and some idea of how to access it as you need to and are ready.

[gennee]

Hi WendyLynn and welcome to Laura's. Happy to see that your transition is proceeding forward.

Hi WendyLynn and welcome to Laura's. Happy to see that your transition is proceeding forward.

[Guest]

Thank you. Wow, when I read that, "your transition is moving forward" I felt a kind of a shock. Is that what's happening? I'm not even sure what "transition" will look like for me. It seems sudden - I thought I had made my decision years ago, then recently I found a medication and therapist that greatly increased my emotional stability. Since then, I've taken more action in the matter than I have in the past 49 years of my life. It's moving quickly, and I am scared but excited. Sometimes I start to panic though. What if I'm making a mistake? (Transitioning itself is not a mistake - I definitely have a female brain) -but rather a mistake in that I will be hurt or even killed by someone? What if Trumplestiltskin becomes president? What if... I don't know. I increasingly realize I have no choice though, and that is also frightening.

[Guest KerryUK]

Hi WendyLynn,

I believe that if you live your life around 'what-ifs', then you don't live. Of course we have to weigh up the pros and cons but there comes the time when we have to jump. The question is 'do I jump from the 1, 2 or the 5 metre board?' The doubts we experience and the questions we ask ourselves are well founded but there comes the time when we 'take the bull by the horns' and just go for it. After that, one just makes the best of the situation and lives life to the full. You get the one chance at life, it's not a practice run and you're dead for an awfully long time afterwards.

[faerie princess]

Hi WendyLyn,

Welcome to the forums .

[Guest]

Hello again, if anyone reads this haha.  It's been a while!  I'm living full time as female, changed my name and gender legally, got a new passport, driver license, and etc.  Been on spiro and estradiol cypionate since October.  I'm happier than I've ever been.  Getting electrolysis, voice therapy, and soon tracheal shave.  Looking back at my original posts it's hard to believe how far I've come!

[MarcieMarie12]

I know it has been a year for me, and I still feel like I am dreaming rather than living the dream. 

 

[Jani]

Wendy, this is great news.  I'm so glad you're happy!  That's what this is all about.  Life is too short to be miserable!  I have everything you do except the voice training and it's wow!  Seems like a long time ago that I was thinking about what I should do.  You have come a long way.   Keep going! 

Jani

[Guest]

Hi -- not sure if it's ok to comment on my very old thread ... or if I should make a new post.  Anyway wow a lot has changed!  I'm now on Estradiol Cypionate weekly injections, Spiro and Prometrium.  Just had tracheal shave -- with some complications.  Also some issues with electrolysis, and possible reactions to medications.  Saw some great progress on breast growth -- full 38A.  I'm also a lot better at makeup lol.  In October I'll be eligible for what Kaiser is calling "Complex Bottom Surgery"  referrals.  The good news is they are doing surgeries at the new Kaiser facility in Los Angeles, with short wait times.  The bad news is they won't approve genital electrolysis until I get the referrals.  I have heard it takes a very long time to complete the electrolysis.  I want to have the "partial"  or "zero depth"  procedure, which I guess has SOME depth so you still need electrolysis first.

Well, that's my update.  Thanks for reading, if anyone sees it after so long.