Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Life keeps hitting hard


Charlize

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

Our surviving son is in NY today at Sloan Kettering getting surgery on a malignant melanoma on his arm.  He was just injected with a dye which is used to check for any spreading that might have occurred in the rest of his body.  I am upset but am doing my best to be the 'strong" one for my poor wife who is on the point of breakdown.  Thank my Higher Power for AA or i'd be drinking again.  The idea of loosing our son is devastating.  I am so fortunate to have the support of others in the rooms.  Just knowing others are there to help gives a comfort nothing i can do will match.  We lost our other son at the age of 13 to an accident.  19 years later that pain remains.  I don't know if i'd be able to survive that again.  I just have to get past today remembering that drinking only makes it worse.  Any chance of being a help to others disappears with just one drink.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts Charlize.

May the treatment go well.

Hugs

Cyndi -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Keep strong Charlize - wishing you and your family all the best

Love

Tracy

 

Link to comment
Guest Ladyinker

I am so sorry about both your sons Charlize. I know it is hard to stay strong, and easy to say #%@* IT! and turn to the wrong thing. However, I also know you are stronger than that by the advice you have given me. All my bets thoughts and wishes to you and your family in this very trying time.

 

Erin

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

the surgery went well now we are just awaiting the news about if it has spread beyond his arm.  I will ask again that all of you go to a dermatologist for a checkup.  Early detection is critical.  He went because of the problems i was having.  Please do as well.

Thanks for the support.  It helps.  It really does.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Charlise,

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your wife, and your son. I am so glad that the surgery went well. Now I pray that it hasn't spread. In really tough times, wanting to run away and hide with alcohol or other drugs can be very tempting. But we can't be there for those who need us, including ourselves, if we drink. And we can't be strong for others if we don't allow our Higher Power to be strong in us. God bless you and your family.

 

Lots of love and a big, big hug,

Timber Wolf?

Carla?

Link to comment

Prayers for you and your family Charlize. I heard at a meeting this morning that "the power behind us is stronger than the trouble ahead".  God bless you. 

Link to comment
  • Admin

My thoughts are with you and yours tonight, Charlize.  I hope the news is good. 

((((HUGS))))

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Hi Charlize,

I'll certainly keep you and your family in my thoughts.  Above you said, " Any chance of being a help to others disappears with just one drink."  We don't always think that way and sometimes we fail to recognize it, but it is so very true. 

Early in my career I was very fortunate to have a boss who was really good at working with us and developing us.  One morning he asked us to list the 3 most important things in our lives.  We all put the usual answers - our family, God, work, etc.  As he read through them, he had a little smile on his face.  After the last one, he looked up and said, "no one put themselves as number one or even on their list of the top three." 

Long story short, he explained very well how if we don't take care of ourselves, keep ourselves healthy, put ourselves as number one, we won't be of use to any of those things that we think are more important.  We won't be able to help and support our families, we won't be able to serve God, we won't have a job - we'll instead become the burden that we don't want to be.  Please take care of yourself; be strong like you know and we know you are.  :-)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Charlize, know that I am with you.  I recall being in the hospital when my surviving son was in a life threatening accident.  Now that the surgery is over I'm sure you and your wife are breathing normally again.  I hope the tests come back negative.  Thank you for the little PSA, as sometimes we forget to do the things we know are good for us.  

Hugs

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

A weight was lifted when my daughter in law texted that the biopsy came back negative.  With any luck only a 12"scar on his arm will be the only sign that a cancer was there.

Thank you all for your support.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You have made the sun shine here Charlize!

Good news is always welcome :)

Hopefully the scar will fade in time

Thank you

Tracy x

 

Link to comment

Hang in there Charlize. Great to read that the biopsy was negative!!! Yay!

The world hits us hard. Our measure is in getting back up after each hit.

Thoughts and prayers.

Link to comment

Wonderful news right before the holidays!  Seeing people get through problems like this without drinking was hugely important to me in early sobriety.  It gave me hope that I might stay sober in my hard times too.

blessings to your family and thank you for being an example..

M

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 119 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Evelyn J
    • Petra Jane
    • Ashley0616
    • KymmieL
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,059
    • Most Online
      8,356

    FelixThePickleMan
    Newest Member
    FelixThePickleMan
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Aelia
      Aelia
      (22 years old)
    2. Just-Jenny-finally
      Just-Jenny-finally
      (65 years old)
    3. KelcieK
      KelcieK
      (50 years old)
    4. Krimson Kya
      Krimson Kya
      (35 years old)
    5. Robin
      Robin
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      I have wondered how basic training is for transgender recruits?   Kymmie 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Some of them are us.  I view while logged out sometimes.  But I also know that so much of this forum is public.  I really wish more areas were "members only."  I'm aware that stuff I post here is publicly viewable, so I never post last names, first names of other people, pictures, or give my location.  I tend to think my husband and GF would be displeased at the few things I do post here.... and they may be right.   Our times are pretty uncertain, and it seems to be "fox hunting season" out there. 
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums Felix, enjoy yourself, but please get the homework done!!
    • VickySGV
      On May 4, the Trans Chorus Of Los Angeles did a whole 90 minutes of music that was all written by Trans composers and all of our singers and musicians were Trans / NB.  Several of the pieces were actually written by our chorus members.  (I was running a $3,500 set of video cameras on the show and am editing the the massive gigabytes they put out today. We had several guest artists either on stage or who contributed material.  One of the artists was Wrabel who wrote the song The Village which he has dedicated to the Trans Community and describes a young Trans child and the problems they had in their village.  The other MAJOR Trans Artist was Jennifer Leitham, a Bass Viol and Bass Guitar player who as a young man played with the Big Bands of the 60's and 70's in her male self into Transition, and wrote an autobiographical song entitled Manhood which tells of her love of the men she played with in the bands but her not really fitting as a man. Jennifer has played with the Chorus before and is always good music fun to have around.  Two of our members collaborated on a music and poetry piece simply entitled "I'll - - " which brought some tears with a promise to Trans Young People with the whole chorus shouting "I'll be there for you, I will be there for you" said for Trans Kids.  (We actually had a few Trans kids in the audience to hear it.)  My video editing program has about 40 minutes to go producing the main body of the edited video which has the actual song clips in the right order.  Next to put in the Title slides and the credits.  The stuff I get myself into.   The concert took place at the Renberg Theater which is part of the Los Angeles LGB Center in Hollywood.   
    • FelixThePickleMan
      Hi, I'm Felix a little trans guy from a small town. My pronouns are he/they and I enjoy music and all wildlife, I doodle on all my homework assignments. I really don't know what to say but, my favourite animal is a cow, my favourite musical genre is country, I play electric bass & acoustic guitar as well as the ukulele a little bit of piano and drums (hand drums and drum sets). I like things of all sorts and I like food, a lot. My favourite meal is French fries and a good steak. My Personal Record for dead-lifting is 310 lbs and I like to sprint and play basketball. My mum's a "bit" overbearing but what can you do. I love reading Manga, I'm currently reading Assassination Classroom, I also enjoy reading Stephen King. I plan on joining the Marines after high school and become a k-9 handler.  I think that's all. For now :) 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I didn't use makeup even in my girl form.  And certainly not now in my boy form.  I don't even like sunscreen...it just feels greasy.  I've always disliked putting stuff on myself.  Partly because of the physical feeling, and partly because I don't want to pretend to anybody.    My partners are mostly the same...makeup isn't really a thing for our faith.  But my GF and husband have one particular vanity - covering up gray hair.  IDK if I will feel differently when I start getting some of my own, eventually.
    • Jet McCartney
      I'm ftm but I still wear makeup on occasion to cover up my rosacea. Just primer and sunscreen usually. Sometimes I'll fill in my eyebrows too
    • DonkeySocks
      I think some of "them" are just us. If I log out, I might come in and putter around the forums for a minute before I commit to logging in and reading or participating. That probably shows as a guest visit.
    • DonkeySocks
      I have the Pierre by New York Toy Collective, I think I bought it from a different online store but it is that brand. The size recommendations will say that the four-inch shaft (the small Pierre) is for people 5' tall and under. I am 5'8" and it is fine for me. The larger (regular) Pierre shaft size is way too big to wear regularly, but it is a great packer to have around for gender affirming play at home. So even if you are taller than 5', if you aren't sure and you want something easy to wear, go with the small. It is a silicone packer.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Yes, resilient, for sure.  Ours were elementary/middle school age when their father died.  The girl took it really hard, losing her father.  My husband has been there as friend, counselor, and stepfather.  He was a dear friend of their father, and he has put in a lot of effort to raise them.  The eldest son is now his secretary, aide, and driver at work.   Since I'm young-ish and not their primary parent(s), I have the role of being an older friend to them.  They don't seem to have any issues with my gender.  I'm just Jen, and everybody knows that Jen is a little different.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      If you're looking for a millennial female who might be interested, maybe contact Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Y'all might have some things in common, and I think she and her partner are doing the "childless" thing.      Interesting that your wife did concrete work.  My GF spent some time laying concrete for her own projects....while 6 months pregnant.   She's a very stubborn girl.  Probably the exact opposite of the millennial female you're looking for, since she's a mother of 5 (and wished she could have more.)  Interesting how folks can have similar origins, but come to opposite conclusions.  My GF grew up in dire poverty, stealing to eat and take care of her little sister.  As a young adult, she spent several years living in a commune, and was a member of an armed communist political movement.  Now she's probably the most fervent anti-leftist, anti-government person you could ever find.  Experiences really shape who we are.    The lesson I draw from this is that globalism is not the right solution, and even the USA is too large a nation for everybody to agree.  Time to downsize voluntarily, before a civil war does it for us.  Some folks suggest that the USA could become between 4 and 7 different nations.  The way the world is going, I suspect you'll get your "depopulation" wish....but it will come about through war, plagues, and famine. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I made apple pies, since we have apple trees here.  A classic, simple recipe, everything made from scratch.  We can make just about any kind of pie here - pecan, apple, pear, peach, blackberry....    I think the 6-burner stove came from an old diner.  So, technically a restaurant stove, just a small one.  It probably came from an auction, as my partner usually has an eye for deals.    This stove has 8 burners:   https://www.lowes.com/pd/FORNO-48-in-4-32-cu-ft-2-26-cu-ft-Steam-cleaning-Double-Oven-Convection-Gas-Range-Stainless-steel/1003096398?cm_mmc=shp-_-c-_-prd-_-app-_-ggl-_-PLA_APP_186_Cooking-_-1003096398-_-online-_-0-_-0&ds_rl=1286890&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj86BiPj3hQMVeTbUAR2m5wexEAQYASABEgI9tvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds   This one is the one I would love to have...it has 10:   https://www.lowes.com/pd/FORNO-Galiano-Gold-Professional-60-inch-Freestanding-Gas-Range/5013821825?cm_mmc=shp-_-c-_-prd-_-app-_-ggl-_-PLA_APP_186_Cooking-_-5013821825-_-online-_-0-_-0&ds_rl=1286890&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj86BiPj3hQMVeTbUAR2m5wexEAQYDSABEgIt__D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
    • missyjo
      69 years young dear  winks it's just a number..   transcend it n be fabulous  hugs
    • Lydia_R
    • Lydia_R
      Not to bump this up or anything, but I just want to put one more note on the end of this...   Thank you for allowing me to post this here and thank you for all who have responded.  This step has been a huge help to me on my political journey.  I've made several key decisions in the last few days that allow me to run a better campaign for the next 4 years.  I worked my way off of the streets 20 years ago by writing math and computer programming on paper.  10 years later I was able to buy a house with the software engineering work that I was doing.  Now 20 years after getting off of the streets and having two failed bids for US Representative and likely another failed bid in the next couple weeks, I've come to the point of selling my house to run a very frugal campaign for vice-president (it's a thing even though it is an appointed position) for the next 4 years, all on the money I have earned from that work I did on the streets.   My policy going forward is that I'm not going to ask for money and I'm not going to ask for people's votes.  The vice-presidency is an appointed position.  I'm also not going to run for legislative offices anymore.  I'm simply going to tour the country on my own dime looking for good people and a strong millennial female who sees my logic and would like to be president.   I have reached out to tens of thousands of people on my own dime in the last 7 years.  Famous people, ultra-famous people, business leaders, civil engineers, random people, news people, educators, unions, politicians.  I certainly got less than 5 emails from those efforts.  Actually, I only really remember one person.  He is an educator and we had a good Zoom meeting.   I'm not bitter.  I'm not complaining.  Those of you who have followed me on this site know I like to keep things positive and talk about cooking and living healthy.  I hope that this post doesn't get buried.  I think the title is strong and my message is clear.  I don't want to bog this site down with the details of the whole thing.  I simply want people to know that there is a transwoman working to be vice-president.  Notice that I didn't title this a-transwoman-as-us-respresentative.  My politics are executive level.  I'm a whistleblower, not a complainer.  I aim to educate and inspire.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...