My Truth

[Kaylen11]

I can't say exactly that I always knew I was transgender. More like I was always questioning it, I knew growing up that I wasn't happy with my body and I had a lot of unwanted attention from boys. After realizing that I was interested in girls it was easier to call myself lesbian rather than explore anymore then I had already done. I never actually came out either, my mom kinda just brought me out before I was ready. I think deep down it was easier for her to have a lesbian daughter than know that her daughter wants to be a her son instead. I think at the time it was easier for both of us. I never felt like I really fit in anywhere, always a tomboy but never feminine or masculine enough it seemed. I wasn't till I was reading someone else story that I had realized my truth was sitting right in front of me for years. It took me 9 years to realize it and now at the age of 26, I just want to be happy inside and out. My mom was a single parent so me and my siblings only have her, each other and our grandmother. Me and my mom were close before I came out to her a few months ago. Since then I moved out and Ive felt like this black sheep that only my grandmother and my 10 years old sister care about. The only person I can really talk about anything with is my girl and hopefully my new therapist. My mom and my 23 year old sister kinda act like nothing is happening and act like Ive done something to them. In learning my truth, Ive realized that losing the ones that are close to you suck but it also shows their true colors and it hurts. I know this journey its easy but I slowly accepting it and staying positive.    

[SugarMagnolia]

Hi Kaylen,

It sounds like you have a very good attitude. Being able to truly accept yourself is really hard...at least it was for me. I just accepted my true self at the age of 49. You're doing great!

Getting that rejection from people that you're close to is a real challenge. I know it's not easy, but try to focus on how wonderful your girl is. Having someone that you can really talk to is so important, and having a therapist plus your girl on your side is a true blessing. 

Try to be patient and understanding even when it seems impossible. Remember how hard it is for us to accept ourselves. It's just as hard for some of our family and friends to process what can seem like a very sudden change to them.

Make sure to protect yourself, but keep in mind that people can change. I pray that they'll come to love you for who you are and that although reconciliation may seem unlikely, it can still happen. 

Be strong, 
Julie

 

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's Kaylyen.  This whole process of finding and accepting ourselves as well as the difficulties that work causes to others was very difficult for me.  One bright side was this space where i could share my journey with others.  Your not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Kaylen11]

Thank you Julie and Charlize. Coming from someone who has gone thru it sometimes just sounds better and more true in a since then when its coming from your friends. I think when it comes to my girl and my two close friends they don't know exactly how i feel so sometimes its hard for them to give me advice. I told myself once I feel more comfortable with me I wanna give back some how and help someone else.  

[DaHudie Biz]

Being yourself iis not a let down once they start to see your determination to be yourself. Being yourself can be the biggest let up you can give everyone. That's not only you, but most importantly, it is you because it and you are going to change. Remember, nothing iis terminate but the fact that everything changes, and I mean nothing and I mean everything. It all changes.