What do I need to give up when I transition?

[BeckyTG]

I transitioned long ago and I remember others setting a date to clean out their closet and toss anything that seemed gender related.

     Others got rid of all past photos, yearbooks and the like.

     Years of living past that date has caused me to realize that I'm glad I didn't go too far on this. I remained a member of the Reunion Committee for my high school. As time passed, all the people on the committee accepted me and we just had a fabulous class reunion.  Glad I didn't toss my yearbook.  It was close.

       I also watched many others cease activities that seemed inappropriate for their gender. A number of MTFs rode Harleys, presumably to appear more masculine, so the bike had to go.

       A woman friend of mine has been involved in the social side of the biker life and I've watched her have all kinds of fun.  I need to get out of the house, so I recently bought a Harley myself and joined the local Harley Owners Group. There are quite a few women who ride their own. Then, I discovered another group for women who ride.  Holy smoke!

        I've become involved with them and have been having a great time socializing with other women bikers.

        So, the point of this post is you can still be who you are after you transition and rectify your dysphoria.   Don't think that MTFs need to learn sewing or that FTMs need to take up bull riding. 

         Many people who've known me a long time have marveled that, "you're the same person you've always been!".   Yes, well, duh, who else would I be? 

[VickySGV]

I have not abandoned any of my "Boy" hobbies, and in some ways the money I now don't have to spend on transition now finds itself back into the hobbies.  One hobby was performance audio production, and a few thousand dollars of sound equipment which I am now using with a Trans* choral group who just started their second season and is sounding great -- when I run the audio, -- not when I sing!!

For one night of my high school's 50th reunion, I went so far as to wear a custom T-shirt that had my yearbook picture on it with the logo: "In 1966 this is who we all thought I was <picture>  What did we know then?  Fooled me too!"  I actually had some people who had made my life pretty nasty back then come up and apologize for what they had done, my change and happy self made them want to reconcile with me, and slugs (from 60 years ago) turned to hugs that night. 

[Cyndee]

Hi Becky

When transitioning....

I've gave up on standing to go. I gave up on using certain phrases (no more yo bro), I gave up on trying to be something I'm not....

But really...

Happy to hear your biking interests and other life pursuits, and welcome back to the playground. I want to mention your previous posts were inspirational to read, as you were quite active when I first joined here about 6 years ago. The "starfish" post was legendary in our circle I brought this up to a friend here recently, we both enjoyed it. For those newer here....

I like to ride too, on/off road, I have the same bikes as before transition. I like to tinker with wrenches, I like to chop firewood, I like to camp and hike, I like to play music in bands, in fact I think I do most all of the same activities as before transition, especially the leisure activities...

Glad to have you with us again...

Cyndi -

 

[BeckyTG]

Hi Vicki,

 

      At a high school reunion a few years back, one classmate asked people who that lady was who had a man's picture on her name tag.   LOL

      We put our senior pictures on our name tags so we could remember people we met.

[BeckyTG]

1 hour ago, CyndiRae said:

Hi Becky

When transitioning....

I've gave up on standing to go. I gave up on using certain phrases (no more yo bro), I gave up on trying to be something I'm not....

But really...

Happy to hear your biking interests and other life pursuits, and welcome back to the playground. I want to mention your previous posts were inspirational to read, as you were quite active when I first joined here about 6 years ago. The "starfish" post was legendary in our circle I brought this up to a friend here recently, we both enjoyed it. For those newer here....

I like to ride too, on/off road, I have the same bikes as before transition. I like to tinker with wrenches, I like to chop firewood, I like to camp and hike, I like to play music in bands, in fact I think I do most all of the same activities as before transition, especially the leisure activities...

Glad to have you with us again...

Cyndi -

Thanks, Cyndi.  Nice to be here.

 

 

 

[tracy_j]

I think with me things have been a gradual progression for many years.

I remember when I was at school, I distanced myself from much of what was masculine behaviour. I ceased to swear in public - so uncouth and as I realise now - not ladylike. I was not really into rough games.

As time went on I did ride motorbikes (in fact was not into cars for years until I did a training course for a technical trade which included driving lessons). I loved to tinker but one thing I did not like was getting dirty (I mean the inground oily hands!).

I have steadily moved away from mechanics, although this was not really a consious decision and in theory could fall right back into it if the mood takes. Occasionally it happens, very occasionlly... It is probably safer anyway as I loved to motor on and when I ride my bicycle, even now, I often speed up to an agressive pace which I think appears much less ladylike than most younger female sports cyclists.

I am artistic and love to paint and draw. I also like embroidery and dressmaking. Something which I liked but had little occasion to persue when I was younger.

That said, I was then and am now really into technical things. Predominantly electronics and low level computer programming. I love things new and old so play with old valves (tubes) as well as microchips; radio and computers. I feel I stand out when in the specialist shops since dressing a a woman, but that feeling is beginning to diminish. I still discuss things with friends as before, but I was always somewhat more abstact than they were so felt a bit out of things anyway.

Tracy

[Briana]

Well Becky, I gave up a lot.  Bad behavior, unexplained (...explainable) anger, overly aggressive behavior, all kinds of silly stuff like that.  Otherwise, like many I still like the same things as before.  I still run, hike, camp, hunt, shoot, fish, cook, can, garden, and sew (...not so good though).  I still like to do home repairs and upgrades.  I still like sports, and shows and plays, and all kinds of concerts.  

I also like to ride but I don't anymore.  I was never very good/skilled on a bike and at this point I do t want to kill myself.  But I know lots of lady bikers and biker groups.  The stereotype of "motorcycles are for men" is just ridiculous to me.

Just like what you wrote, and made me laugh...duh, who else would I be?

[Guest miss andros]

I want to feel positive, but is very difficult. And because of doctors like therapists.

I hate them!

[Guest]

While I don't believe that anything MUST be tossed, I've slowly been tossing my male clothing. But not useful stuff or books......

[Tejana]

Hhmmm....Well, I can only think of two things that I gave up subsequent to transition. The first was my gid/gd, which I found to be a very good thing; guess for me the treatments/surgeries worked.  The second thing was micturation from a standing position.  [Obviously, the latter wasn't practical following surgery.]

I found very little that I chose to give up, during and subsequent to gender transition.  Course everyone's different.  [Personally, I just never thought it necessary to approximate a stereotype.  I eventually did what I found to be necessary in order to live more comfortably in my own skin.]

[Jani]

I had stressed over this during the early phase of transition but I soon realized that nothing need change.  At this point my only change in habits or hobbies has been due to being retired or changes in interests.  Be who you are!

Jani