As i see myself

[Charlize]

When i first started to venture out into public i was at times accompanied by a female friend.  Her boyfriend was trans* and she had little or no difficulty with men presenting as myself.  I was, as i see many here, possessed by the need to pass.  I wanted to be invisible, it seemed, so that the fear of being discovered would fade and i could simply enjoy myself.  It took a great deal of time for me to simply live as myself in comfort.  Odd how i used to see myself in the mirror and see a woman but not have faith that others might see the same.  Now i'm just me and the world is no longer a problem.  Years, time and more positive than negative experiences got me here.  Now i'm simply me.  What a joy.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Guest]

That makes me so happy for you...... (HUGS)

[Guest AshleighP]

Lovely story and fantastic outlook! Thanks for sharing.

[Jani]

5 hours ago, Charlize said:

Now i'm simply me.  What a joy.

That says it all!  

 

[Briana]

Nice post Charlize.  I'm glad you find joy in being simply you.

[tracy_j]

I understand well there Charlize. I remember my first outings. Somewhat alone though as I did not have similar friends. In fact, although not hostile, most people close to me were not very accepting. It is interesting though that my work friends were, and that is the first place I really came out. From what I read here, probably unusual, but I should say that not only is my workplace very accepting (healthcare, so generally is), but I was getting towards retirement so had less fear of job issues.

It is interesting that, as time goes on, I worry far less about passing and just get on with life. Many will find the same. I know I don't always pass but I just deflect the problem back to the person who is looking at me. It's their problem to think about, and as long as I am not confrontational about it emotions don't generally seem to be raised so should keep violence at bay. A smile goes a long way

It's what I read in you Charlize - It's nice to hear - thank you

Tracy x

[Guest]

18 hours ago, Charlize said:

When i first started to venture out into public i was at times accompanied by a female friend.  Her boyfriend was trans* and she had little or no difficulty with men presenting as myself.  I was, as i see many here, possessed by the need to pass.  I wanted to be invisible, it seemed, so that the fear of being discovered would fade and i could simply enjoy myself.  It took a great deal of time for me to simply live as myself in comfort.  Odd how i used to see myself in the mirror and see a woman but not have faith that others might see the same.  Now i'm just me and the world is no longer a problem.  Years, time and more positive than negative experiences got me here.  Now i'm simply me.  What a joy.

Hugs,

Charlize

This post really speaks to me and I copied it and posted it on my facebook and gave credit to a friend on another site. Because I don't really feel that I could pass if my life depended on it (and sometimes it does, these days) I've not been trying to pass. I've just been trying to be myself and enjoy being myself and feeling how I want to feel. Thank you for writing that, Charlize......

[MarcieMarie12]

I think were our own worst critics, like the store clerk that I've never seen before is ma'ming me just to be nice. I've been to a few trans events with Jamie, and some people are surprised that I am trans. They thought I was her cisgirlfriend. I'm both happy that I pass so well to others, and oddly feel guilty since Jamie wasn't considered cis as well. I guess, I'd sooner they just not say anything. 

Still, I don't think I pass. But I think I am the 2nd worst person to judge that-my parents and brothers would be the worst.

 

[Rachael]

In the end isn't that the goal to be happy with yourself. I am glad to hear that things are going so well for you. 

Keep smiling 

Rachael 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Charlize,

That sounds pretty much like my dream, to be able to just live as myself without so much concern about passing well. I yearn for just being myself all the time.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?