My Life So Far

[JayceeTG]

My name is Jaycee and I am a 42 year old Transgender Woman. I live full time as a man still and really am scared about what the future has in store for me in the future as either a woman or a man. I have felt this way ever since I was a kid but was so good at suppressing my feelings about wanting and feeling like I was a female. I am Gay and came out to my family when I was twenty two years old and only a few people know that I am Transgender. I feel like I have hit my parents with every issue and I feel like if I came out to my parents that I am Transgender that will be the straw that broke the camels back.

I mean I don't feel like I should be in a rush to tell anyone anyway. Its not like I am living as a woman or that I am in transition even though I really want to. I work in the ski resort industry so it makes it really hard to transition and I live in a state which isn't that friendly to the transgender folks like me. I really want to see a Gender Therapist and get myself on the path to transition into the female that I know that I am. I adore females in so many ways from their clothes to there body parts. I would love to have breasts and I often dream about getting SRS but for some reason I always feel like that is just a pipe dream that will never become reality.

I am happy to be here and I hope that I can contribute.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Jaycee.   You are among friends here, and folks with years of experience traveling the journey as you.  We're here to help, so ask any question, post your comments, and enjoy your time here.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

You are actually on the young side of some of us, I did not begin my transition until I was in my early 60's so you have time to do what you need to and still be content with yourself.  My mother was born in Montana and I know a ton of the negative jokes about some people there,  and yes it is a hard place for transitioning, but maybe not as hard as you fear.  Welcome to the group here, your story makes you one of us. 

[Briana]

Hi Jaycee and welcome!  Yeah Montana is kind -o- difficult but not impossible. ?  Got family there and know a little bit where you're coming from.  Anyway, welcome!

[Jani]

Hello Jaycee, I'm glad to meet you.  You are not too old to transition but more importantly you can do it at your own pace.  I also started after 60.  There are no rules that dictate a timeline or what a successful transition is.  Just have fun.   Please join in the conversation when you can.

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi, I was 42 last year and began transitioning in October of that year. For me, it is really just taking that first step, then the second, then third. It was a very overwhelming at first, but not letting the enormity of it and taking it day by day helped. Now I lead the boring life of a 42 year old woman, ok not so boring!!!

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Jaycee,

Welcome to Laura's. I have not medically transitioned yet, but want to if I can ever get financially able to. And although I live in a moderately liberal state (Michigan), I live in the heart of the conservative part of the state where being transgender is harder. But I'm making my way. Baby steps is the key I've found. With every baby srep I take, I get that much closer to being me, and I feel that much better! It's also the best way I've found to cope with the fear. I continue to amaze myself, doing what I thought I could never have the courage to do just a year ago. I go to the laundromat and wash my (girls) clothes and fold them unashamedly in the open. Now that it's getting cold, I wear my breast forms when I go out with my coat on (they're just "B" cup size). I wish it would be the cold weather season all year long, lol?! Well, I am going to have to stop hiding in a crowd some day. My point is baby steps are progressing me toward my destination. The enormity of the changes in life I have and continue to go through can get really overwhelming. Breaking it down into baby steps makes it manageable. Good luck moving forward!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[Guest]

Welcome, Jaycee. I know what you mean about dreaming about SRS and pipe-dreams and such. Quite frankly I still find myself surprised that I'm on Estrogen from time to time. Find yourself a good therapist, take your time and enjoy the journey....

*HUGS*

-Fiona

[gennee]

Hi Jaycee and welcome to Laura's.