Sex and Gender

[CrystalMatthews0426]

I have long considered myself simply as a crossdresser, I love the feel of being dressed in woman's clothing and it makes me feel 'right' to be dressed up. Over the years, I never put a lot of major thought into anything more then this and never considered myself to be interested in going further with this lifestyle. However, recently, I have been more obsessed with the idea of actually being a legitimate woman and have started to wonder if the concept of transitioning would be something that I would want to do. However, I do have some hesitations due to my sexual history.

I have always enjoyed sex, I am bisexual and relationships with both men and woman have been a part of my life since I was about 17 and first lost my virginity. I have been with more woman then men, because overall, I do not find an extreme enough attraction towards men that would make me desire a relationship with them. I guess my question is, is it possible for a MtF transgendered person to get some actual enjoyment from sexual experiences as a man? I have read a few pages via google searches that imply that even from a young age, most transgendered woman feel, for lack of a better term, wrong about using their penis, and although they might have sexual relationships, in some cases because they feel that it is what is expected of them, they don't truly enjoy intercourse this way. Is this a solid truth? While I have typically enjoyed the physical feeling of sex and have spent plenty of alone time over the years since I was young, going solo, I'm not sure if this disqualifies me from potentially being a legitimate transgender. This is the main thing that has kept me from ever exploring the concept further, but as I get older and my feelings mature more and I desire to be a woman more, I feel it's proper time to finally figure out if this is a factor that should keep me from taking the next steps or if I should explore and search my innermost feelings more towards this potential life changing outcome.

[Guest Sarah1967]

Hi and Welcome to Laura's  

[Jani]

Hello Crystal and welcome to Laura's.  To answer your question of whether any feeling disqualifies you, I can say that this journey, if you choose it is all about what you think and desire the end state to be.  It has nothing to do with what somebody from a google search, or even I think.  It's all about you.  You may determine that you are bisexual, or maybe somewhere else on the gender spectrum.  I would recommend a good gender therapist to help you sort out these feelings and help you get on path that makes you happy.

Jani

[TexasLibraryLady]

The separation of sex and gender is difficult for most people to understand. Even transgender people sometimes. Yes, a lot of transwomen hate the fact that they have a penis. For a good number the idea of using it for penetration is distressing. However, this is not the case for all. Some never seek surgical transition and are perfectly happy being a woman that happens to have a penis.

Personally I did not have any issues sexually until I started to realize and accept that I was transgender. At that point the idea of using my penis disturbed me. Then once I transitioned and began getting validation as a woman, I found that I didn't mind sex as much anymore because using my penis wasn't invalidating my sense of being a woman. This isn't to say that I still don't want a vagina instead, just that I can enjoy sex until that happens.

only you can decide if you feel transition is right for you. You can certainly choose to transition without desire for surgery. However, one piece of advice, talk to your therapist and dr. before going on hormones. HRT has a big impact on the sexual functions of male anatomy which you may find you don't want.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

Thank you everyone for the replies and the support. I am actually starting with a new therapist tomorrow, so I will definitely address these matters with her. You have all given me a bit to consider and think about, I am glad to know that my past history and likes does not necessary effect the potential outcome of my future life choices.

Thanks again,
Crystal

[Guest]

Welcome to Laura's! Sex is indeed an issue. Generally when I was having sex in the past inkinda dreamed or thought about me being full female rather than the truth. 

I lost my drive long before HRT due to a hormone problem anyway. And solving the male hormone problem didn't fix anything. I still had little to no interest. That being said, age does affect this as well. But most that I know hat did HRT and arenolder, lost interest. But I know many 20-30s year olds that have a find sex life, so I clearly depends on the person. Good luck...