Passing as myself.

[Guest Jamie61]

A few years ago, when I began my journey, I was no more  ready to face the world as a fifty something year old women, then I would have been as a confused 4 year old.   I was embarrassed to think about what I must have looked like...   I only know it took many hours of hard work to make an 'appearance'.  At the time it seemed impossible. I wondered how this could be, how I could pursue this distant star, when I could barely get off the ground.  When I think about it now, I am filled with pride. Pride for standing up for a young girl who had no voice, nor words to communicate with. A young girl who would dream while soaking in the bath tub, happy with those brief moments when the image of her young body was minus a lower half, invisibly submerged.

I am so grateful for all the advice I have received along the way of this incredible journey.  One of the most important things I continue to focus on, is to remember to appreciate each step, each phase, each setback along the way.   While I am fortunate,  that in general,  I am able to pass there are occasions when that is obviously not the case....  This makes me think that I probably don't pass as well as I once believed, but rather I benefit from the kindness of others.  I can think of no more beautiful way to be myself, then with the 'collaboration' of others.

 Jamie 

[TexasLibraryLady]

It is amazing to reflect back on where we were and how far we've come. All those fears we had that never materialized. It doesn't make those feelings less valid, but knowing that we overcame them is important.

I get misgendered very rarely, which makes me feel that I pass well. Then something will happen that makes me wonder if more people realize that I am trans   and just being accepting of my gender. In the end it doesn't really matter why, just that it happens 

[Jani]

10 hours ago, TexasLibraryLady said:

It is amazing to reflect back on where we were and how far we've come. All those fears we had that never materialized. It doesn't make those feelings less valid, but knowing that we overcame them is important.

Jamie, It's beneficial to remember those days so that any current issue doesn't get us down.  It's all part of the journey.  You're correct that its important to remember and savor each step as they make us who we are.  

As to passing, this is a term I have come to dislike.  I prefer to say that "I am seen as I see myself".  Since everybody has their own vision of what a male or female looks and acts like we shouldn't anticipate reactions.  That you can "pass" sometime and not other times just demonstrates this.  My practiced response to any criticism would sound like that from a cis woman, not transgender.  I am a woman and I will never give that up.  My point is to just own it, every moment, every day.   You are beautiful and no one can ever take that from you!

Jani  

[tracy_j]

I dislike the term 'passing' as well. It means a hurdle to be addressed. I can say for myself and suspect that it is the case with very many here that 'passing' is a fear which can haunt us. In reality confidence tends to push this into the backgound.

Mostly passing is a problem that can be reflected back to the observer.

Tracy

 

[MarcieMarie12]

What is funny is that many cis-girls get mis-gendered as well...especially when they don't adhere to female stereotypes such as changing the oil on a car, no make-up on, short hair and such.

[Jani]

YES to this^^^

 

[Guest]

I was recently looking back because a friend had mentioned how much I've changed over the last year or so. While I'm no where near where I need to be yet, I guess there have been significant changes.  

Congrats to all who have grabbed ahold of their lives, and began doing what needs to be done......

[MarcieMarie12]

On 1/8/2017 at 1:21 PM, MarcieMarie12 said:

What is funny is that many cis-girls get mis-gendered as well...especially when they don't adhere to female stereotypes such as changing the oil on a car, no make-up on, short hair and such.

Case in point:

 

[VickySGV]

I have only been asked to leave a women's rest room one time, and that was when a plumber was on the way in to fix a problem that I was glad to have gotten away from.  Several times I have been "herded" TOWARD the women's room by men who were almost fear struck that I might be invading their man-cave.  My other tales have involved "Gender Neutral" rooms where men have either stood in line with me, or suddenly come in and found me there with more astonishment than meanness on their faces.  No problems ever with the women's rooms, even when most of the "women" were mouthy teenagers.  I don't like to use the word "pass" either in describing how I look.  I go into several stores and restaurants where they knew "him" and have transitioned along with me.  The long timers know and don't make a deal of it, and the newer folks only know the current me!  Most challenges I was afraid of never happened or were nothing like I imagined, on the good end.