Need A Friend

[NathanThePlatypus]

Hi,

I'm a student from Gloucestershire who is conflicted as all hell and looking for some friends to help me through. And trying to keep things concise...

 

[Jani]

Hello Nathan and welcome to our world!  Being conflicted is entirely normal so don't stress over that.  As you may have seen if you've looked around at all there are lots of folks with differing backgrounds and experiences here. Have you just recently become aware of being transgender?  Or have you known for some time and are now coming to grips with it?   

Please join in the conversation. 

Jani

[Cindy Truheart]

Hi Nathan!

Welcome to Laura's Playground! I look forward to talking with you as you go forward on your journey of self-discovery! Everyone's path is different, but remember that your own happiness should be your goal. That can mean very different things to everyone, but keep that in your heart and I know you will be okay!

[NathanThePlatypus]

Thank you for replying! As I posted in the longer explanation, I've only recently started to think that what I've been feeling means that I'm transgender - but I find myself thinking about it now 24/7 and it makes it difficult to focus on other aspects of life. I'm hoping to figure stuff out in my own head first and maybe see a gender therapist if I can muster up the courage.

 

Thank you again, it's really nice to know that someone cares

[Cindy Truheart]

Of course we care, many of us have been where you are at right now! Some of us decide that we can live with these thoughts and feelings, others decide that we simply must transition. The important thing for you is that you take things slow and try to figure out your own emotions and desires. The worst mistake you could make is swinging too far in one direction or the other. In my case, when I was much younger, I swung in the direction of "I'm just fooling myself" and "this isn't real". I ended up doing a lot of damage to myself simply by repression and denial of my true self.

I know you said that talking to a gender therapist isn't possible, but what about just talking with a therapist in general? Seriously, we can give advice based on our own experiences here, but a professional is going to be able to help you more than we ever could. I know for me, my therapist has been worth her weight in gold! Things that would have taken me months to figure out, she helped me tease out the answer in minutes! She also kept me from going down the wrong path several times. The mind is a tricky thing, and sometimes what we want to be true can cloud our judgement. This can make us go backward instead of forward, like when I was younger.

In the end, remember one thing. It's all about you! No, seriously! They tell you when you get on an airplane that if the oxygen mask drops down to put yours on first, then help those around you. The same is true in life! How can I be a benefit to those around me if I'm constantly distracted and/or miserable all the time? You have to learn how to be happy with yourself first! Take the time to concentrate on yourself and learn to love you, whoever you may be! Because you are a unique human being, a unicorn in a herd of horses, it isn't your fault they don't see how beautiful you are!

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Nathan, welcome to Laura's!!!

Hugs,

Marcie

 

[Charlize]

Welcome Nathan.  Try not to push yourself.  It all comes to us with time and patience.  You may come to a point of wanting to see a therapist but at least in my case i spent some time simply reading and asking questions here before i did that.  Make use of us.  Your not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Briana]

Hi Nathan and welcome to Laura's.