Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hi I'm Hayley


Hayley Renee

Recommended Posts

So my name is Hayley Renee and I'm sure my story is similar to most of you girls. I started at a not so young age of 15 (now 53...but closer to 30 in girl years). I had a friend who's sister used to lay in the sun during the summer and I would look at her in what I thought was the traditional male way. One day she finished her daily sunbathing and hung her bikini in the bathroom. I found myself in the bathroom staring at it and felt the need to try it on. Wow it felt wonderful and right but I didn't know why. I continued throughout my childhood sneaking her clothes and another neighbor girls. In my 20's I started buying my own only to feel guilty and do the dreaded purge. Wash rinse and repeat till I met a girl and got married so I could be a "man". The feelings never went away and I continued to dress off and on in secret longing for work trips out of town. Fast forward to now where I have realized who I am..all my life my inside me is all girl Hayley is the real me..and even though I am still married we are more like roommates. I do not find myself attracted to her but instead I long for the love of a man even though it seems so wrong. 

Whew...I said a lot but it feels good to let it out...I look forward to any help and friendships here 

Hayley

 

 

Link to comment

Hello Hayley and welcome to Laura's. I'm still married to my spouse of 36 years. It's hard sometimes but can be successful. Getting with a gender therapist will help to sort out your questions and feelings.

:)

Link to comment

Hi Hayley, yes it is amazing how similar our stories are!

Welcome to Laura's, hugs

Marcie

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Hayley,

Welcome to Laura's! I snuck my sister's clothes as a teen. Shortly after High school, I decided I was going to be "a man" and make everyone else happy. But I didn't make me happy. Now I'm 52, living mostly as a girl (though not 100% of the time), and I'm finding an inner happiness that I haven't known before, despite the rough spots in life! I hope you too will find your inner happiness and peace. You are definately not alone!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Hi Hayley! Yep, your story is familiar! Me and my wife are also working to stay together despite the fact that we are both heterosexual women. Welcome to Laura's!

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

I know what you mean. Been there done that. The whole nine yards, and my mom still thinks I could love a woman. Heavens knows this roll playing is for the birds. You're right. No argument from me. Welcome to Laura's

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 169 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Petra Jane
    • EasyE
    • Vidanjali
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adele Svetova
      Adele Svetova
      (25 years old)
    2. BROOKSGLASS
      BROOKSGLASS
      (34 years old)
    3. FinnyFinsterHH
      FinnyFinsterHH
      (16 years old)
    4. fool4luv
      fool4luv
      (26 years old)
    5. itsaddison
      itsaddison
      (20 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Only three, maybe four, sections even mention transgender.  Most is a conservative agenda I have no problem with.   In the sections that mention transgender, there are very few lines.  Those lines ARE problematic, in every case. Unequivocally.  I can't see some of them standing up in court.  In one case a recommended policy goes against a court decision, which strongly suggests the implementation of that policy would be stopped in court.    Anyone maintaining that this is written simply to support Trump, to support him becoming a dictator, to crush transgender people is feeding you a line.  Nor is it an attempt to erase transgender people.   People will have to decide if the overall goals are worth the few problematic statements.  Overall, I support it.  Of course, I have some reservations.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It is unfamiliar, therefore threatening.   For 90% or so of the population, gender id can be simply and quickly determined by a quick anatomical observation.  They have no understanding and cannot imagine what it would mean to have a body different from the id.  It is unimaginable.  Therefore, wrong.   So there is this strong headwind.   I haven't entered this discussion, but here is a script: A: I can't imagine what it must be to have TG. B: You're a man, right? A: Well, of course. "amused" B: Imagine you were required by law and custom to wear women's clothing all the time. A: It wouldn't happen. B: Okay, but for the sake of the argument... A: That would be disgusting.  I would be very uncomfortable. B: You have it.  That is what TG people go through all the time. 24-7-365. A: Really? B: And then they are told they are perverts for having those feelings.  The same you just described. A: I see. B: And someone comes along and tells you you need conversion therapy so you will be comfortable wearing women's clothing all the time. A: I think I would break his nose. B: You understand transgender folk better than you think.
    • EasyE
      I have found some people correlate TG = child predator ... just as some have correlated homosexual = child predator...    I am baffled by the TG = unsafe connection ... my wife tends to think this way, that this is all about sexual deviancy ... I try to ask how my preference for wearing frilly socks with embroidered flowers and a comfortable camisole under my lavender T-shirts is sexually deviant (or sexual anything) but I don't get very far... 
    • EasyE
      Best wishes to you as you take this step ... many blessings to you! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not sure.  The perp is a minor.  The problem here is NOT transgender, the problem here is incompetent and criminal administration.  See https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/family-of-loudoun-co-student-sexually-assaulted-ineptitude-of-all-involved-is-staggering/3231725/ It is more than annoying that people think the problem here is TG and that other people think the solution is some stupid statewide law.  Like an appendectomy to deal with an ingrown toe nail.    Since Loudon, I recall a boy was asked not to use the girl's restroom at a high school by one of the girls.  He, overwhelming her with height and weight,  assaulted her, claiming he had a right to be there.   Later I think eight girls beat him severely in another girl's restroom.  Again the problem is not transgender, the problem is assaults in restrooms and common courtesy.  TG is used as a smokescreen and it seems to paralyze thought among administrators who do not want to do anything to provoke controversy.
    • VickySGV
      Time to get with your Primary Care doctor and be referred to a neurologist or an orthopedist.  It could be many things, too many for any of us here to guess at. 
    • Mmindy
      Other than the Boy Scout motto, oath, and law. I use two:   When asked how I'm doing? In all honesty I reply. I would have to make something up to complain. If asked to explain further: I reply. I know someone is having a tougher time than I am, and I pray God blesses them.   I also recite this quote that I have tagged in my signature: Courage, doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."-Unknown    Saying these things daily keep me motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Abigail Genevieve
      If this goes on, I am conceding the real possibility of being stopped in WM or somewhere by a concerned citizen who tells me, "Lady, God made you female.  I don't think you should be trying to look like a man. You need to return to your true gender and be comfortable living your life out as a woman."   Begin odd and awkward conversation.  I have been thinking about this this morning.
    • Mmindy
      That's great @Lorelei   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are many MAGA GOP types who are not transphobes, of course. Some MAGA GOP types are transgender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm hoping to read the next section today.  Many of the reforms they are calling for are good, such as expediting the military procurement process, and have nothing to do with transgender issues.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Well my friend quit talking me
    • atlantis63
      I wanted to create a thread about this   Eurodance act from sweden. very good. love his stuff   worth a listen if you never have
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon,    I have a young friend who is vegetarian and married to a full on meat eater. They have two areas of their grill clearly designated for their different cooking requirements. When she’s cooking she uses tongs or chopsticks to handle any meats. When he’s cooking he respects her request not to cook her meals on the side where meat has been. They get along fine and respect each other.    When she attends our house, she usually brings her own food, but knows I will clean my grill to meet her requirements. We love and respect her commitment to be vegetarian. I love that she trusts me to make her comfortable when visiting us. There are ways to make it work.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...