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Hi I'm Hayley


Hayley Renee

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So my name is Hayley Renee and I'm sure my story is similar to most of you girls. I started at a not so young age of 15 (now 53...but closer to 30 in girl years). I had a friend who's sister used to lay in the sun during the summer and I would look at her in what I thought was the traditional male way. One day she finished her daily sunbathing and hung her bikini in the bathroom. I found myself in the bathroom staring at it and felt the need to try it on. Wow it felt wonderful and right but I didn't know why. I continued throughout my childhood sneaking her clothes and another neighbor girls. In my 20's I started buying my own only to feel guilty and do the dreaded purge. Wash rinse and repeat till I met a girl and got married so I could be a "man". The feelings never went away and I continued to dress off and on in secret longing for work trips out of town. Fast forward to now where I have realized who I am..all my life my inside me is all girl Hayley is the real me..and even though I am still married we are more like roommates. I do not find myself attracted to her but instead I long for the love of a man even though it seems so wrong. 

Whew...I said a lot but it feels good to let it out...I look forward to any help and friendships here 

Hayley

 

 

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Hello Hayley and welcome to Laura's. I'm still married to my spouse of 36 years. It's hard sometimes but can be successful. Getting with a gender therapist will help to sort out your questions and feelings.

:)

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Hi Hayley, yes it is amazing how similar our stories are!

Welcome to Laura's, hugs

Marcie

 

 

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Hayley,

Welcome to Laura's! I snuck my sister's clothes as a teen. Shortly after High school, I decided I was going to be "a man" and make everyone else happy. But I didn't make me happy. Now I'm 52, living mostly as a girl (though not 100% of the time), and I'm finding an inner happiness that I haven't known before, despite the rough spots in life! I hope you too will find your inner happiness and peace. You are definately not alone!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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Hi Hayley! Yep, your story is familiar! Me and my wife are also working to stay together despite the fact that we are both heterosexual women. Welcome to Laura's!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I know what you mean. Been there done that. The whole nine yards, and my mom still thinks I could love a woman. Heavens knows this roll playing is for the birds. You're right. No argument from me. Welcome to Laura's

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