So, I'm new here. I'm very confused.

[DeLorean12]

I've been very confused with myself the past few years. I am physically female, but I would not call myself typical. I am six feet tall, have an Adam's apple (although not huge), have male friends, small breasts.. the list goes on. I have always been a tomboy and have been irritated with female related things. Until puberty, I was comfortable with myself, but since then I have been a wreck. I had no idea what was going on at the time because my peers welcomed the changes (I hated them). Someone asked me if I was "a closeted transgender." I didn't know what this was, so I took one evening to research. The numerous stories I read about FTM's seemed oddly familiar. I was pretty certain that my experiences and theirs were related. My parents are transphobic, so I have been a little reluctant to explore my identity. They constantly poke fun at the concept and call it a "fad." I'm not sure how to go forward with this, but I need to do something before I develop health issues from stress and depression. Do any of you have suggestions? I am at a loss.

[MaryEllen]

Hello DeLorean,

Welcome to Laura's Playground.   Are you of age and living on your own or are you still in school living with your parents?  If you are still living at home, it would be best not to make waves.  If they are transphobic, it will only make matters worse if you push it. The road to transitioning isn't a 100 yard dash. It is a marathon that will in all likelihood take several years.  I know it's hard but you need to be patient.

 If your parents could be made aware that being transgender is not a fad but an actual medical condition, perhaps they might change their mind or at least become tolerant toward the condition. Perhaps these web pages might give you some insight. http://www.transyouthequality.org/for-parents/      http://www.parenting.com/article/tomboy

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1464511-My-14-Old-Daughter-Says-She-Wants-to-be-a-Boy

Use your own discretion on whether your parents would be receptive to looking at any of these pages. Don't put yourself in jeopardy. 

Once you are 18, you'll be free to make your own decisions. If you are of age and on your own, your best bet would be to seek therapy with a gender specialist. He or she could help you through your confusion and point you on the right path.  As I said above, be patient. Develop  a plan and take it one step at a time.  Slow and steady wins the race.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask. We're here to help.

MaryEllen 

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi DeLorean, welcome to Laura's!

Coming out is a scary prospect, especially if you are financially dependent on parents that have expressed such views. In my case I am a a bit older, financially independent and living on my own when I came out to mine. But I approached it that I might lose my relationship for a while. Shockingly, my dad has been more accepting than my mom. I was expecting the reverse. Also the first reaction is not the final one, it has taken time but my mom and I are talking again.

Hugs,

Marcie

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, DeLorean.  I agree with the excellent advice given you.  Someday, you might also want to explore the possibility of being intersexed, given your physical features.  It's not a common condition, but it is a possibility. 

Please do look around the forums and post whatever questions you come up with.  We'll be here to answer them!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie