Really dysphoric help

[Hayley]

I feel really dysphoric and I don't know what to do, I just came out two days ago and I have no clue how to stop this 

[MaryEllen]

Hello Haley,

 

First of all, welcome to TransPulse.   There's really no way you can stop the dysphoria. What you can do is come to grips with what is causing this. I would strongly urge you to seek counseling with a gender therapist. He or she can help you to understand why you feel this way and give you help with dealing with your dysphoria.

If you have specific questions, please feel free to post them. We will answer to the best of our ability.

 

MaryEllen

 

 

[Charlize]

Welcome to Trans/Pulse Haley.  You have made great strides already simply coming out at all.  In doing that i remember the relief in being honest but also the huge push to get on with it.  You have had great advice from both of the Marys above.  Take a deep breath and relax a bit.  I have found my journey more of a walking trail to self acceptance as myself and less of a sprint.  This site has helped a great deal.

 You are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Hayley]

Thanks everyone it's nice to have a really supportive forum of people, I'm  currently on a waiting list to see a gender therapist but the waiting list is a year and a half 

Is there anything I can do in the meantime 

[MaryEllen]

I assume you're on the NHS for insurance. Unfortunately, there can be long waiting lines for anyone one the NHS. Is there any way you can afford going through the private sector?  That would be another option.

There is a lot you can do in the meantime. Such as letting your hair grow longer, removing body hair, voice training, learning feminine mannerisms, facial electrolysis, etc. These are things that you can do one step at a time. It is said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. If you truly feel that you are a woman, I would say it's time to take that first step.

 

MaryEllen

[Hayley]

I wish I could afford it, it's too much for me to pay for right now or a year and a half away so I'll just have to wait, I think I'm going clothes shopping next Wednesday tho so that'll be good for me I guess 

[Cbxshawn]

Hi Hayley,

I found that for me, shopping has helped. Makeup, clothes, and all the assesseris. I wasn't into shopping before and now I love it. Only if I had more money. 

 

I hope all goes well for you and you can find the things that will help you. 

 

Hugs 

Shawnna 

[SunnyKay]

Hi Hayley,

 

I'm sorry to hear it's difficult right now. I hope you can come up with a way to see a therapist sometime sooner.....Stay true to yourself! Hopefully things will calm things down and you will find a better stasis soon. Indulge yourself a little maybe to help smooth it out.....

 

Hugs,

Sunny

[Cyndee]

21 hours ago, Hayley said:

I feel really dysphoric and I don't know what to do, I just came out two days ago and I have no clue how to stop this 

 

Hi ya Hayley, GD is nasty and renders it's self in hideous ways. Find strength, build resiliency, filter the noise, don't let the noise take over, GD can be overwhelming if you let it. Express yourself genuinely, and be honest with yourself. All the little things you can do to feel more comfortable are mentioned above.  Don't let GD take over your life, ok ?

 

Hugs

 

C -

[MarcieMarie12]

My way of dealing with it is to recognize what it is, and take steps to diffuse it. One of the things I did was to avoid mirrors.

[VickySGV]

It will depend on exactly where you are, but I would suggest looking for IRL support groups in your general area and also for accepting social groups (the two may be the same).  People in those groups can help you in terms of make-up, hair ideas, even service projects to the community, and they will accept the person of the inside which I am finding in my time to be the most important thing to be done.  Seeing the inside person can be done with only the smallest changes to the outer person believe it or not.  As the others have said, you know now what has been a terrible burden (the definition of the word Dysphoria) by name and you have a direction.  I know the time toward the most direct attack on the GD is many days in the future, and you will have to take them one by one to get there, but by that formula, I am now over 9 years in your future and know it can be done.  You are telling the world they were wrong about you for a long time, go ahead and tell them, and then begin being the loving and friendly person who has an attitude of fun and purpose.  Some people will have trouble with that and you can walk away from them without loss, even if it is just for a few days, because they are denying the real you who needs to live a full life.  Their loss to be sure.  Look in the mirror and tell who you see who you really are, daily or more often, but it will help.

[Hayley]

Thanks all