finally! a place to talk this out!

[Sk1ttles]

hi I am new to all this (gestures to all of me). I was amab and my pronouns are she/her/they/them. My name is Skittles and sorry no tasty rainbows here. the nickname was given to me for my vibrant nonconforming wardrobe and personality to match. Its also pretty androgynous so ill go by that till i figure out my new name. So basically a part of me has always known i wasn't male ever since i was a kid, but due to a lot of trauma from abuse growing up i repressed that. Until now, and let me say this is horrible timing lol. When is timing ever great for life altering revelations though? this December I discovered that that what i thought were panic attacks and self esteem issues that I've dealt with my whole life were mostly forms of gender Dysphoria. that was huge for me. especially since a year before that i was an ally at my college resource center. now i wish i payed more attention then and i wouldn't be so lost. I currently live in a place where coming out would mean losing my housing( timing right?!) so i'm not out, I'm still discovering my gender, but i know it is feminine of core. I cant afford therapy and as far as i know there is like one resource in my town that is LGBT+ friendly and i'd be outing myself to contact them(long story). I should also get health insurance now that i think about it. but i digress. I was prompted to join this community from a listener over at 7cups.com. I'm pretty extroverted and this is killing me not telling anyone about this new, scary, and exciting part of myself. i'm excited to join this community and I would love to pick your mind for information. I also love to chat. i really know nothing about transitioning what it entails or how to even start that process. Granted i'm not ready to consider that yet; although having a body that matches sounds really great.  

Anyway its so nice to be here and i'm excited to meet you all!

 

[Sk1ttles]

thank you, I may sound like i got it all figured out, but its been a tough few weeks. so i'm glad to have found a place to ask questions. I don't even know what questions to as honestly. like how do you deal with being misgendered constantly making you feel dysphoria without explicitly saying anything. I have two male roommates and its bro, man this, and guys men that. its all i can do not to curl up on my futon and cry since they got back from winter break.

[KatrinaReann]

Hi Sk1ttles and welcome. This is a place of great resources and everyone is very helpful and supportive. I know what it is like coming from a smaller town where resources are limited. It might mean you have to travel a little to find some counseling. I don't know how far Atlanta is from you or how hard it for to even get there. But I am sure there would be a lot of resources there and possibly even in the some of the suburbs that might be a little closer to you. But far enough away so others don't automatically know what you are up to.
 I also know how hard it is living with roommates and having to repress the real you. So my heart goes out to you on that one.

 

At least now you have a place where you can start talking to others about these feelings. You say you don't know where to start or even what questions to ask. Best place to start is at the beginning.  Tell us about yourself. How did you discover that your panic attacks and self esteem issues might be related to Gender Dysphoria? I think once you start opening up a little you will find you are not alone.

Huggsss

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Skittles,

Welcome to TransPuulse. I'm glad you found us! 

 

It sounds like you might be a college student living in a dormitory.  If so, try to keep remembering that it's just temporary. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[Jani]

Hey Skittles how are you doing?   That's good that you've been able to determine a path forward.   So I lived in Athens as a teen for a short while and I know its a college town, among other claims to fame.  I looked and there are a few places you could check out for support. 

https://www.athenspride.org/lgbtq-resources/

https://lgbtcenter.uga.edu

http://commongroundathens.org

and there is a facebook group at UGA

https://www.facebook.com/LGBTRCatUGA/

 

Best of luck moving forward! 
Jani

[Charlize]

Welcome Skittles.  I actually love that name.  

Take a deep breath and try to relax into what is a long term process of change.  Finding a path that is right for you takes time.  This site has helped me a great deal.  Hopefully you will find the same.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Skittles, welcome to Transpulse!

 

Hugging the rainbow,

 

Marcie

 

PS: Sorry couldn't resist.

 

[MaryEllen]

Hello Sk1ttles,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.   I hope you enjoy your stay here. Feel free to ask questions. We'll do our best to provide answers.

 

MaryEllen

[Cat Lady Kelly]

Welcome!  It's great to have you here, and we hope we can help you on your journey to finding yourself.

[Sk1ttles]

hey thank you everyone thats responded. i feel very welcome. ive been away for a bit. been working through some of the issues i mentioned about earlier and among other things just getting used to the idea of loving myself and being comfortable and eventually confident in who i am. i still haven't found counseling (its on my list of things to do XD). in the mean time been saving money reading all i can about myself and who i am as a woman and what that means for my future living as the best version of me. i appreciate all the links and comments yall have made thanks again ❤️

[BrandiBri]

You are on the right path by learning about who you are and planning for the future. Take your time as transition is a marathon, not a race. I am glad that you are going to find a therapist as they can help you sort out feelings that may have been hiding for many tears. I didn't think I needed to talk to one, but it was the best thing that I have done. Finding a therapist is a good starting point.

 

Hugs,

Brandi