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tali

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Hey everyone!

 

You can call me Tali. I signed up a few months ago but it's only now I'm feeling brave enough to post. I realized who I really am eight years ago. So far I've made a lot of progress mentally I think. I know who I am for the first time in my life and I've never been more sure of anything else in my life. Complicating matters though is that I suffer from severe social anxiety which has only gotten worse since I've come out as a trans woman. It's limited my ability to socialize because I have so much fear of being rejected. That's part of why I'm here. Not only to deal with the normal stuff that goes along with being trans, but also having a safe space to talk with others and socialize. I just don't feel safe in the cis world. It doesn't help that my family doesn't accept me at all. Since I spend most of my time with them it makes sense why I fear rejection from everyone. 

 

Thanks for reading my little intro. I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far. :)

 

 

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Tali.  I'm glad you came here, because I think we can help and answer questions, and perhaps even allay your fears a little.  Do you have a therapist, Gender or otherwise, to talk things out with?  That could be really helpful, for all your issues.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Welcome.  I think you'll find this to be a very welcoming community, full of caring people that want to help others on their journey.  You should find nothing but support here.  Welcome again!

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Hi Tali.  Glad you've joined us here.  You are certainly not alone in your fears.  Sharing here helped me as did gender therapy.  Finding peace with myself in the world has been difficult for me but now that i do function without fear i know how worthwhile those efforts have been.  We are here to help each other find and accept our paths.  Welcome

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Tali,

Welcome to TransPulse. You've got caring and understanding friends here. 

 

When I first joined, I was terrified. I had been hiding in my closet, too afraid to peek out. But I was also getting miserable and lonely. I found these forums. The difference it made in my life finding others who understood and knew what it was like was miraculous! When I took those first tentative steps out of my closet, I found other trans people waiting for me here with open arms. Now our arms are open to you! Welcome friend! You're not alone!

 

Big Hug!❤

Timber Wolf?

 

PS: In case you need another hug, here's a hug from Huggy Bear!❤

20170907_192714.jpg

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Hi Tali, one thing that helped me was getting out of the house and meeting others. My family members all responded differently  to it. My nephews were pretty much a shrug. It took time for some to come to terms with it too.

 

Welcome to Transpulse! 

hugs,

Marcie

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Welcome, Tali. I'm so glad you found the courage to say hello to TransPulse. I hope you find this a welcoming and informative place, and a safe place to just be yourself. I also have social anxiety and have found life my complicated with my transgender issues. But, I have found support here, and I'm fortunate to have a few people in my life who accept me. I hope you also find the support you want/need as you make your journey, which will provide happiness too. The happiness will come!!

 

Gwen

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Hi sweetie. Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of great people here, and really good advice to help you on your path. This path isn't easy by any means, but nothing great comes easy.

 

Erin

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  • Forum Moderator

Hello Tali.   Welcome to the forum.  I understand your trepidation to post and be out there but once you, do it gets better.  You'll find it to be empowering.  There's lots of good advice above from our friends.  Please join in when you are ready.

 

Jani 

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Hi Tali and its really nice meeting you!!!

 

I prefer to hang out only in the LGBT world but it's also impossible to stay there forever. I attend a transgender group meeting every week and it has really helped me to stay grounded as you pointed out that being transgender has its own set of problems.

 

I fairly new here and I will say the girls and guys here are very accepting and over the top helpful in every situation I have seen presented. You have found a safe place and please feel comfortable here! Welcome and hope to see you on here often!!!

 

Tess

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      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
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      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
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      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
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      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
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      I hope to eventually wear a suit for dance but don't know what exactly to look for. I feel like jumpsuit is safe option but I have been interested in wearing button up and formal pants. Is there a certain brand i should look for or sites I should look at for tips? My mom is not exactly keen on me wearing too masc clothing like suits just yet but is okay with jumpsuits. Also is there hair styling tips availible, my hair looks like image below. I might be able to get shorter haircut like pixie but am not sure yet.  
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