Hello

[MelisssTN]

I joined this site last night and would like to introduce myself.  I'm a 59 year old transgendered woman that came to terms with my gender identity about ten years ago.  I've identified with being female for as long as I can remember. I read Christine Jorgensen's autobiography when I was teen and readily identified with her and admired the courage that she had to transition in the 1950's.  In my mind Miss Christine was a pioneer and in many respects a role model for all transgendered people.  However, in 1974 young men weren't supposed to want to become girls and I learned to repress my feelings quite well.  I dated girls, drove fast cars, drank beer and enlisted in the Navy when I graduated from high school.  I spent twenty two years in the military often volunteering for hazardous and macho assignments and managed to get married twice along the way. 

Fast forward to 2009 I found myself divorced and living alone in a new city. I began to explore my feminine feelings by checking out a number of on line sites and soon realized that the emotions that I was experiencing weren't unusual.  I began to build my feminine persona as well as my wardrobe. I bought clothes, shoes, lingerie, wigs, breast forms and attempted to learn the art of make up.  I remained closeted for a time but I soon decided that I wanted to venture out and see the world as Melissa.  I began to explore the LGBT club scene in the city that I live in.  I was admittedly quite scared but also thrilled at the prospect of going out.  Nearly all of the encounters that I had clubbing were positive and I felt a kinship with many of the ladies and guys that I met when I was out and about.  Early on I wasn't really certain what the difference was between a crossdresser and transgendered person.  As time went on and the more than I ventured out I realized that I wasn't a crossdresser and being a woman was wired into my psyche.  I began to explore this issue with a licensed therapist who has gently encouraged me and helped me to validate my feelings. 

For the last several years I have been "stuck" between my realization that I'm not well suited to be a male and the excuses that I've conjured prohibiting me from commencing my transition to a full time status because of how it may negatively impact my work life.  At 59 I'm in pretty good health, financially stable and physically still a good candidate for transitioning.  I know deep down transitioning is what will ultimately make me happy.  With my therapists endorsement I've made an appointment with an endocrinologist to determine if I'm a candidate for HRT.  In summary, that's what brings me here today. Any positive words of encouragement or wisdom from those that have charted this course before me would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks so much for reading this.   

Melissa

[Cyndee]

Welcome Melissa to Transpulse forums, nice to meet you Your story has many familiar themes, We are close in age and for me, inspiration came from Renee Richards in 1976 and her tennis career, I knew then "it was possible". 

 

  HRT can be a wonderful tool if transitioning is where you are heading. The mental benefits of HRT are quite well known, not to mention the physical aspects. I started at the young age of 52 and it will be 7 years soon. I am so glad for this medicine, and I've had very nice results. With a Dr's care and regular blood monitoring I realized many benefits, so I am going to say in hindsight it was well worth the effort. Coming out at work was my last hold out to living full time, and while I had apprehension about doing this, it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done for myself. Working as my true self has given me a lot of satisfaction professionally and eliminated most of the social issues I had with faking being something I'm not for others in the work place.

 

Have a look around here on our forums and join in the conversations with us Melissa. I hope you enjoy your time here.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi -

[MaryEllen]

Hello Melissa,

Welcome to TransPulse.   Thank you for sharing your story with us.

 

MaryEllen

[Charlize]

Melissa you have more or less told my story although i was a bit older when i faced the decision as to starting to live completely as a female.  My GT also helped me find a path and today i live comfortably as myself.  The support and stories of others here helped me and i hope you may find the same.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[MelisssTN]

47 minutes ago, CyndiRae said:

Welcome Melissa to Transpulse forums, nice to meet you Your story has many familiar themes, We are close in age and for me, inspiration came from Renee Richards in 1976 and her tennis career, I knew then "it was possible". 

 

  HRT can be a wonderful tool if transitioning is where you are heading. The mental benefits of HRT are quite well known, not to mention the physical aspects. I started at the young age of 52 and it will be 7 years soon. I am so glad for this medicine, and I've had very nice results. With a Dr's care and regular blood monitoring I realized many benefits, so I am going to say in hindsight it was well worth the effort. Coming out at work was my last hold out to living full time, and while I had apprehension about doing this, it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done for myself. Working as my true self has given me a lot of satisfaction professionally and eliminated most of the social issues I had with faking being something I'm not for others in the work place.

 

Have a look around here on our forums and join in the conversations with us Melissa. I hope you enjoy your time here.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndi -

Good morning  CyndyRae,  Maryellen and Charlize,

Thank you so much for your warm welcomes. I've very happy to have found this wonderful forum as my journey continues.

[Gwen]

Welcome, Melissa. You seem to be traveling a familiar path. I'm so happy that you've reached the point of deciding to see an endocrinologist - a big step. I predict your feminine side will blossom and you'll be living the life you've dreamed of.

 

Hugs

Gwen

[Jani]

Welcome Melissa.  Good for you for getting appointment with an endocrinologist.  

 

Jani

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Melissa,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[MelisssTN]

Good evening Gwen, Janni423 and Timber Wolf,

Thank you for taking the time to say "Hello!" and your words of encouragement.  I'm anxious to see the endocrinologist.  It's a sensation of exhilaration and controlled fear similar to how I felt every time that I repelled out of a helicopter at night when I was in the Navy. I knew the ground was down there in the dark somewhere but I never quite knew when my feet would strike the ground.  I know that this is the right path for me and where I land will be in the right direction and I will ultimately land on my feet.

[tracy_j]

Hi Melissa

 

Welcome

 

Tracy

[MelisssTN]

3 hours ago, tracy_j said:

Hi Melissa

 

Welcome

 

Tracy

Thank you Tracy!