Your true self

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

So I have a question that I would like some help on for myself.  I do not like to ask this and if anyone wants to answer they can.  But when you are transitioning from M2F and your on hormones and working on passing as your self.  How or what is the best way to make yourself appear more girl like and feel more like down south?  I am trying so hard to hide myself, make me look more fem, and have that figure and even shape my face, but even with on hormones for 4 weeks, I feels like that I am not there passing as a real girl.

 

Any help

 

Amy

[MarcieMarie12]

When I realized my dysphoria not my appearance was the problem and I was able to mentally separate the two. I soon focused on how others treated me to see if I was passing or as a friend put it blending in. 

[DenimAndLace]

Hi Amy.  I remember the feelings you are having well.  You made the hard choice to be out, you've seen the doctors, been poked and examined, told your story, felt rejection and now you're doing something about it but it's not happening as fast as you'd like.  That totally sucks!  We all go through that same period.  The really hard answer I think you need to know is that it takes time ...and lots of it.  It may be more and it may be less time depending on how your body IS and how it responds but, (don't be discouraged) it took me about 2 years to get "through" transition.  During that time, I looked like a boy who badly needed a hair cut, I had facial hair, my voice was (and still is) "not right" and my clothing was androgynous at best.  I think the best advice I can give you is to do what you can and savor those accomplishments along the way.  It sounds like you started hormones?  They take a long time to work but think about the fact that YOU STARTED HORMONES!!!  Yayyy!  You can change the clothing you wear one outfit at a time ...and celebrate that!  You can work on getting any facial hair removed ...and celebrate THAT.  You can celebrate longer hair, eyebrow trimming, successes in retraining you voice (if you choose to do that) and shaving your body hair.  Definitely celebrate the PEOPLE in your life who recognize your correct gender and treat you with kindness!!!  Celebrate ALL the things that move you in the right direction even if they don't tip the scales that make strangers gender you correctly and I think you'll be a little less discouraged overall.  I wish you the best Amy.  Hang in there because you will accomplish your goal if you persevere.

 

[VickySGV]

I will have been on HRT for 9 years here in a couple of months and I have nothing close to what I really thought I was dreaming of.  My breasts are the size of one of my sisters and a bit bigger than the other one.  I piloted two cis daughters through their puberties and they got some of their mother's shape in about 7 years which out did my sisters. 

 

If I have to give one tip on looking feminine, the answer is to look calmer and happy with yourself as you are in the minute. Relax your facial features and you will look softer, even if you just cut down a rain-forest thick beard a few minutes before,  Wrinkle your nose up and giggle about it and make a silly happy face as you realize you are on your way!!  That will give you an instant change to the lighter features of your female self. 

 

OK, tip number two!!  Tell the masculine features you see that you are thankful for what they did to bring you to this point in life and let the memories of his heroism for YOU bring a momentary tear to your eye, and you will see them change to the softer real you as well, no make-up will be needed there.  

[Jani]

Relax and own the moment to be the "you" you want to be seen as.  Confidence is powerful.  

 

Jani

[TessaOKC]

 

4 hours ago, DenimAndLace said:

Hi Amy.  I remember the feelings you are having well.  You made the hard choice to be out, you've seen the doctors, been poked and examined, told your story, felt rejection and now you're doing something about it but it's not happening as fast as you'd like.  That totally sucks!  We all go through that same period.  The really hard answer I think you need to know is that it takes time ...and lots of it.  It may be more and it may be less time depending on how your body IS and how it responds but, (don't be discouraged) it took me about 2 years to get "through" transition.  During that time, I looked like a boy who badly needed a hair cut, I had facial hair, my voice was (and still is) "not right" and my clothing was androgynous at best.  I think the best advice I can give you is to do what you can and savor those accomplishments along the way.  It sounds like you started hormones?  They take a long time to work but think about the fact that YOU STARTED HORMONES!!!  Yayyy!  You can change the clothing you wear one outfit at a time ...and celebrate that!  You can work on getting any facial hair removed ...and celebrate THAT.  You can celebrate longer hair, eyebrow trimming, successes in retraining you voice (if you choose to do that) and shaving your body hair.  Definitely celebrate the PEOPLE in your life who recognize your correct gender and treat you with kindness!!!  Celebrate ALL the things that move you in the right direction even if they don't tip the scales that make strangers gender you correctly and I think you'll be a little less discouraged overall.  I wish you the best Amy.  Hang in there because you will accomplish your goal if you persevere.

 

 

What an uplifting response!!!! I'm so glad I read this and it certainly has put a little more hip in my hop !!!

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

Thank you for the advice.  I am still using my breast forms and hope that my real breast will be the same size and my breast forms.  I am just a average C size for my build and height right now.  So nothing too big and just enough to give me something.

 

One of my accomplishment is that I am losing weight and I need to.  So I am happy for that.

 

I am right now in the private area, I am working on different methods of concealment and one method I like and is working very well for me is the tuck.  I think I have an easier time at the tuck since I am a cancer survivor and I am already missing one of the testies  that you have to push into the cavity.  So it makes that part easier for me.

 

Thank you

 

Amy 

[Rachael]

Others have given good advice.  I will add that hormones helped with confidence or gave me the validation that my brain needed to go in public dressed the best I can in women’s clothes. I go like it’s no big deal , like I fit in (even if I do not) with my head held high and a smile in my heart.  

[Raven1981]

Hello Rachael:

 

Thank you. I have notice that since I have started HRT that I feel a lot more relaxed and also coming out to more people even easier.  My confidence level has been going up and I am almost ready to head out dressed up as my true self and be comfortable with myself.

 

Amy

[jae bear]

Hi Amy,

 You are one brave soul and I’m very jealous, even at near a year I couldn’t hope the pass to save my life but that’s OK I don’t mind working with my in between self. I did notice some shape change, went from more of a potato to semi hourglass, definitely something happening there, but some recent weight loss also thinned out my yummy parts I was so pleased with,  I plan on indulging again once I hit my progesterone cycle. Not that it’s for everyone but donuts cake and ice cream do wonders for fluffing up girl zones but the drawback is you’re more fluffy... so there’s that .

squishy hugs,

Jae

 

 

[BrandiBri]

Hi Amy,

I totally agree that confidence is the key here. When you walk out the door, do it as if you were born to wear dresses (after all you WERE!). Once you stop worrying what other people think you will find that it really isn't that hard. I know that sometimes I'm seen as Me and other times I'm seen as he, but I just let those time slide off my shoulders and go my own way. The important thing here is realize that transition takes time and so take your time adjusting to all the new feelings and enjoy all the new adventures that await you.

 

Love, Brandi

[jae bear]

Wow, yet again I must bow to Brandi, I took some good clarity from her words myself!

Hugs,

Jae

[BrandiBri]

Thanks, for the kind words Jae. It's my hope that I can offer hope and insight to every one here as well as get valuable info from everyone else. 

 

Love ya"all, Brandi

[jae bear]

Well Brandi, everyone knows Nebraska girls totally rock!

Hugs,

Jae

[Jennylynn]

On 2/22/2018 at 12:00 PM, jae bear said:

Well Brandi, everyone knows Nebraska girls totally rock!

Hugs,

Jae

You're a Nebraska girl??? I grew up there! Just moved to SD last year. Miss the home state and go Huskers!

[BrandiBri]

Yeah, born and raised here. moved my family to WV for a couple of years, but just missed Nebraska too much and had to move back.