I think I have turned straight

[Emma1991]

Despite not finding guys hot, my sexual fantasies have become being penetrated by a male, and it makes no sense to me. It began after someone implied I was only jealous of women. After this, my interest in women seemed to flatline, also in years past I had interest in TG stories and such where guys were turned into straight women, which may have been a sign, although I also looked at lesbian ones. This is just a lot to take in right now, it feels as if my sexuality has flipped. Also, has anyone thought they turned straight, but had their interest in women return? Sorry if this sounds like a rant, I am just emotionally all over the place now. I still have a hard time telling if this is a real attraction I gained or if it just makes me feel more feminine. Despite some of these thoughts, the idea of doing certain things to a guy or being romantic with one does nothing but make me uncomfortable. I'm so confused right now.

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the group Emma, and I say that with two meanings here.  I see this is your first post here, and welcome on that count first.

 

Also, welcome to the world of being Trans and our sexuality issues as a whole.  It is very very very common for us to have questions about sexuality and who we are physically attracted to for sex and romance.  Sometimes what has happened is that what we think is our sexual orientation has been one way because we were denying who we were, (Trans woman vs male.) and therefor we had to be oriented to attraction to women since we were just garden variety males back then.  We may have been attracted to males as males in many ways even back in our "male" persona days but because we were not supposed to be, our minds did not really allow us to consider the possibility and we did not allow relations to happen.  In my case, after coming out, I realized that I had had crushes on a number of guys starting from early puberty, it was not just boyhood friends, I had had actual crushes and wishes to date them.  My message here is to live with your feelings just now and do not be afraid of them as to who you are attracted to,  I am ten years into my Transition, and can be romantic to male, female, Trans, or NB without feeling guilty about it.  I am not so much into the sex per se, even being post op and can have wonderful relationships without sex, and still feel very much alive and happy being who I am which is a feminine person who is open to ALL of life's experiences without guilt as to what I really do in relationships.  I am single now and have no marriage commitment to honor which makes my life smoother that way. 

[Emma1991]

Just now, VickySGV said:

Welcome to the group Emma, and I say that with two meanings here.  I see this is your first post here, and welcome on that count first.

 

Also, welcome to the world of being Trans and our sexuality issues as a whole.  It is very very very common for us to have questions about sexuality and who we are physically attracted to for sex and romance.  Sometimes what has happened is that what we think is our sexual orientation has been one way because we were denying who we were, (Trans woman vs male.) and therefor we had to be oriented to attraction to women since we were just garden variety males back then.  We may have been attracted to males as males in many ways even back in our "male" persona days but because we were not supposed to be, our minds did not really allow us to consider the possibility and we did not allow relations to happen.  In my case, after coming out, I realized that I had had crushes on a number of guys starting from early puberty, it was not just boyhood friends, I had had actual crushes and wishes to date them.  My message here is to live with your feelings just now and do not be afraid of them as to who you are attracted to,  I am ten years into my Transition, and can be romantic to male, female, Trans, or NB without feeling guilty about it.  I am not so much into the sex per se, even being post op and can have wonderful relationships without sex, and still feel very much alive and happy being who I am which is a feminine person who is open to ALL of life's experiences without guilt as to what I really do in relationships.

 

Did you attraction to women wane during your sexual coming out? I am far more upset about than any gaining an attraction.

[VickySGV]

Just now, Emma1991 said:

Did you attraction to women wane during your sexual coming out? I am far more upset about than any gaining an attraction.

 

I still enjoy relations with women very much and always have. I have given myself permission to enjoy those, and I do when they happen.

[Emma1991]

 

I

Just now, VickySGV said:

 

I still enjoy relations with women very much and always have. I have given myself permission to enjoy those, and I do when they happen.

 

I desperately hope my attraction to women comes back.

[VickySGV]

Just now, Emma1991 said:

I desperately hope my attraction to women comes back

 

Why?  -- (OKAY, I know that is what you need to work on with a Gender Therapist.)  My suggestion is to take now, now and not worry about it for the near future.  Gender Dysphoria kicks us around pretty well and has been even before we knew about it, there is also the possibility that some of your earlier attraction was vicarious living as a female yourself.  A therapist will help sort that out and you could get a wonderful eye opening minute from it.  Take this as it comes one day at a time, and live it on its own terms, it will surprise you, and not ever be dull. 

[Emma1991]

Just now, VickySGV said:

 

Why?  -- (OKAY, I know that is what you need to work on with a Gender Therapist.)  My suggestion is to take now, now and not worry about it for the near future.  Gender Dysphoria kicks us around pretty well and has been even before we knew about it, there is also the possibility that some of your earlier attraction was vicarious living as a female yourself.  A therapist will help sort that out and you could get a wonderful eye opening minute from it.  Take this as it comes one day at a time, and live it on its own terms, it will surprise you, and not ever be dull. 

 

I just feel sad losing such a strong attraction I once had.

[VickySGV]

13 minutes ago, Emma1991 said:

I just feel sad losing such a strong attraction I once had.

 

It may not be lost at all, just balancing out as you find the real nature of the most important person in your life!!  Yeah, you!!

[Jani]

Emma, Welcome!   I have to agree with Vicky.  Go with the flow for now and don't worry about what tomorrow brings  concerning attraction. What will be, will be.

 

Jani

[Ravin]

Fantasies, and what you feel about actual human beings in your life, may be two different things. Getting too hung up on labels won't help matters. 

[Charlize]

I have come to a point in my life where i'm more interested in the person than their gender.  It is a place i never thought i'd find.  Be patient and don't worry about it and enjoy your feelings as they come.

Also welcome to Trans Pulse.  You might want to post an introduction as well.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Emma1991]

22 hours ago, Jani said:

Emma, Welcome!   I have to agree with Vicky.  Go with the flow for now and don't worry about what tomorrow brings  concerning attraction. What will be, will be.

 

Jani

 

It's just frustrating and feels like a loss, I was extremely attracted to so many women at the start of the year, now it feels void and it's upsetting.

[Jani]

You're questioning at the moment and things can get mixed up in your head.  You're focusing a lot of attention on yourself and that's good.  Time will sort all this out.  

 

Jani

[MarcieMarie12]

On 3/29/2018 at 11:52 AM, Emma1991 said:

 

I just feel sad losing such a strong attraction I once had.

 

My attraction has become more emotionally based than visual. I can find people attractive, but for the most part I want to get to know them before I get affectionate (male or female). But that might be me coming to the realization I am pansexual after I transitioned.