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Chrissy Bear

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Some of you will know me from chat, been around there for a little over 8 years now but new to the forums so.. I guess this is my story.


Hi, I'm Chris. I'm 32 now but I knew from around the age of 7 or 8 that I should have been born a boy. Somehow, I knew I wasn't supposed to talk about it so I didn't. I became a great little actor every time I had to 'dress up nice' . When I was 14 I came across the term "Transsexual" and I finally knew I wasn't wrong about myself. Plan was to wait until high school finished, and over the summer I'd start the process of transitioning before starting University as ME. I already wore men's clothes by then, had my hair short for years, never wore makeup, already had my parents thinking I was gay so I figured it shouldn't be too much of a surprise. Life, of course, had other plans as so oft happens. Shortly before my 18th birthday I was rushed into the ER and thus began my near-15 year journey through hospital after hospital after hospital. I have two very rare blood disorders, I had a successful kidney transplant just over 2 years ago and I will need medication to keep me in remission and to keep my kidney working for the rest of my life. SO, my gender issues really took a back burner for a long time! I have been talking to my psychiatrist (all 3 of them in the past 2 years!) about my gender and how I feel and I have a boyfriend who accepts me completely so things are pretty stable right now. Do I want to transition still? Absolutely. But I know my physical health could be a major factor against it and I just don't think I'm ready to hear a "No" just yet from the professionals so I'm holding off on the Gender Therapist for now. I do suffer from depression, pretty severe at times, but I try not to et it drag me down to far. And the live chat here is great in helping with that.

 

I spend a lot of time reading and writing but I don't often share my work. Having this place so readily available with so many people who know how it feels to be trans* may change that. :-)

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  • Root Admin

Hello Chris,

 

Welcome to the other side of TransPulse. :)  Feel free to ask questions. Sometimes we even give helpful answers. :D

 

MaryEllen

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  • Forum Moderator

Hello Chris, Thanks for sharing your story with us.  I'm sorry to hear of your medical challenges but it sounds like you're a pretty strong guy.  That's great that your boyfriend is accepting.  You may have medical reasons to hold off further transition steps but you know who you are and that's whats most important.  

 

Jani

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Chris.  It's great to hear that you have support as well as caring therapists.  That will make your journey far easier than it would otherwise be.  Please post as often as you like.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Chrissy!

I am so glad you found your way here to the forum, this side of things has been absolutely invaluable to me and helped me in so many ways I’m sure it will also help you, and the loving people here will definitely make you feel at home. I can very much sympathize with your issues, 17 years ago I had a serious motorcycle accident that nearly cost me my life, and everything else you could imagine along with it, but after three years in a wheelchair and many years of recuperation I can limp around fairly well and now I’m working very hard on my transition, but there are roadblocks for Me too, I still have my old IVC filter in place and that does cause some concern but at the same time it alleviates some concern since if I did have a clot the filter would catch it, so at the moment my endocrinologist is still sitting on it wanting for more details and the old medical records. But for now I’m working with a low to medium E dose and I am doing just fine after nine months. I am looking forward to getting to the full regimen of feminizing dose but that is strictly up to my endocrinologist and when she is satisfied with my medical history and current prognosis. And to be honest I would love to go back in time a decade or more and be your age when I seriously started my transitioning process, but then again we all start where we start and our journey is different but similar, in any case you found a wonderful place with wonderful people to talk to, and that resource is an invaluable tool for your well-being.

Big hug,

Jae

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Chris,

Welcome to the forums!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to this side Chris.  We may seem a bit slower on this side but i've found a great deal of selfacceptance here.  Like you health issues held me back for years.  In my case it's coronary artery disease.  After a good bit of time i was able to begin HRT and at one point t even got a relatively small surgery.  Perhaps simply living as myself has made the greatest difference.

Hopefully Dev will get the chat back up.  I've missed going to the substance abuse meetings there.  My old mac has fought me and it's been some time since i've been there.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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