Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am I valid?


ShadyoFayx

Recommended Posts

So, I recently accepted that I am Trans, but I don't have much desire to go on T, or do top surgery. The reason for no T, is because I have worked really hard on my soprano singing voice, and have taken many years of lessons, and it's one of the things that I don't want to lose. I am trying to sing lower though, and try to be able to reach a much larger range of notes, but I don't want to lose the thing that I have worked really hard on most of my life. I also don't want top surgery due to money, and not knowing how well my body would handle such a major surgery after having so many from my younger years. 

 

Because of these two things, I am really worried that I am not valid, or people won't consider me male. Even though I KNOW I am male. I KNOW I am not supposed to be female--and although I pretended I was female for most of my life, I always pictured myself as male in my head, and always wanted to be considered a male in any games I played, and always identified with male characters in T.V. shows and movies. 

 

Am I still valid? 

Link to comment
  • Admin

The short answer to your question is: absolutely, yes.

 

It doesn't matter what your reasons for choosing not to transition medically are.  You could say you don't want surgery because the sky is blue and you'd still be a guy.  There will always be trans folks who choose not to pursue the medical side of things, and that choice doesn't invalidate either your identity or your experiences.

Link to comment

You're absolutely still valid! Lots of people don't want to go on hormones, and lots of people don't want surgery :) In the end, what matters is that you're comfortable in and being yourself

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Apollo.  Of course you're valid!  What's more you sound confident in yourself and what you want in life.  That is incredibly important.  In life we pursue our dreams based on their importance and your voice is very important to you as you have shown by all your work.  As Mary says, "that doesn't change who you are inside."   And Dev's point about reasons is something you will hear over and over here.  We are all on our own journey and it is good and valid for no more reason than that's what we want.  The point that you can be you without all the trappings that many of us absolutely need is wonderful and liberating.  I wish that would have been my road.  

 

a big Hug,

Jani

Link to comment

Thank you, everyone. That really makes me feel relief. I have lots of questions, and lots of doubts, and I am so glad to have found this community to be able to talk to and ask all the questions that I have. You guys have really helped me. I am so thankful! 

Link to comment

Medically transitioning is never a requirement of being trans. It's okay if you don't want to go on T. It's okay if you don't want any surgeries. Anyone that tells you different is wrong. Do what's best for you and only you. 

 

~ Rikki

Link to comment

 It is a relief to hear that it is not required or excpected of me to do so. On a happier note, I am so excited to start shopping in the men's section!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
12 hours ago, ShadyoFayx said:

I have lots of questions, and lots of doubts

That is why this forum exists.  As a place where we can offer support to each other.  Doubts are normal and questions are the reasonable outcome of them.  Please ask any that you come up with.  We'll do our best.  Now, go shopping for those things you need!  

Jani

Link to comment
23 hours ago, ShadyoFayx said:

 It is a relief to hear that it is not required or excpected of me to do so. On a happier note, I am so excited to start shopping in the men's section!

 

Shopping in the men's section (and sometimes boys section for shirts for me) is always fun and exciting. ?

 

~Rikki

Link to comment

As someone who did their first shop in the mens section kinda recently it was terrifying but also a total adrenaline rush. 

:D As soon as I tried on the first set of clothes (for size purposes because I was to panicked to think of googling sizes before hand) It was a great feeling that nothing and I mean nothing was off limits, if I liked a shirt then I got that shirt, if I liked certain jeans then I got them too.

 

I even started doing a little shopping online too :D 

Enjoy yourself :D because no one really cares what you're looking at/buying. Even the folks at the changing room didn't blink and eye at me when I wandered up shaking like a leaf carrying a load guy clothes.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
24 minutes ago, Cthorne said:

I even started doing a little shopping online too

Be careful about shopping online as it's easy to rack up a large bill.  Plus it is much more fun to go and try things on to see if you really like them.  

 

Jani

Link to comment

Hi friend. 

 

When it comes down to it, who you are in your mind, spirit and heart is who you are - regardless of how your body presents to others. My girlfriend likes to remind me often that I am not my body, I am not the body I was born into. You are valid and never let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 193 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
      Congratulations! and Happy Trans Birthday @LittleSam! That is such a BIG milestone.  I can still remember walking out of my clinic with my first HRT presciption.  I was on Cloud-9.  Wishing you all the best in the start of your new Journey!
    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...