I Don't Know How to Start

[RoseFlower]

I've been struggling with my gender identity for around six years now, and I think I'm finally ready to start transitioning to my preferred gender (female)

 

The thing is, I really don't know where to start my transition. My family doesn't know about my gender dysphoria, and I don't feel too comfortable telling them my true feelings, seeing as they're all very religious Christians, and they're all very conservative as well. I've only been able to come out to two of my friends, who have been very supportive of me.

 

I also am very tall (and not what you would call skinny). I'm around 6'4, and I am currently 19 years old.

 

I talked to other trans people online (maily MtF), and several of them have suggested that I should wear my preferred gender's clothing. But with my body type, I'm not sure where to start for that too.

 

Should I follow the advice I was given? If so, what stores would you recommend? Do you have another advice for a person in my position?

 

Thanks for all of your help in advance

[Dev]

Welcome, Rose!  Glad you found us!

 

Family is a difficult thing.  A lot of religious types will, unfortunately, reject us outright.  Others will initially reject and, after a while (years, sometimes) come around and realize there's nothing wrong with it.  And still others have no problem with it from the start.  I'd suggest thinking about the individual personalities of those involved and letting that dictate if and when you come out, though you will have to come out eventually if you plan to live full time as a woman.  If you think your family will be less than accepting, though, I suggest not telling them about your gender if you're still financially dependent on them.

 

The single best place for any of us to start is by talking with a therapist who's familiar with gender issues.  You can find a database of practitioners near you here.  A gender therapist can help you work out exactly how you want to express yourself and be seen, and guide you through transition in a way that's most comfortable for you.

 

One of the things I still need to get around to doing is putting together a size conversion chart so people can easily see what size they should shop for in their new gender's clothing.  If you'd like, I can send you a private message and you can tell me the essentials - weight and measurements - and I can let you know what you should aim for, size-wise.  But yes, dressing as your target gender can go a long way toward making you feel more like yourself.

 

For getting clothes, it really doesn't matter where you get them as long as they fit well.  Lane Bryant, Torrid, Walmart, and Target all have a good selection of clothes that work well for our body types.  We also have links to trans-friendly retailers here.  There will be challenges for you in finding clothes that fit both your body and your style, and the curse of the trans person is that we all have different challenges.  (Mine is shoes.  I hate shopping for shoes.)  But as you find those challenges, post here and we can help find ways to get around them.

 

And don't hesitate to ask other questions!  All of us here will be glad to help however we can. 

 

(Also, geeks unite!)

[Dev]

Wandering in with a fly-by addition.  I know I said one of the things I had to do was put up size charts.  I decided to quit making excuses and do it.  Here you go!

 

https://www.transgenderpulse.com/clothing-size-charts/

[Timber Wolf]

Hi RoseFlower,

Very quickly, I will second what Dev said about a gender therapist. They're a good place to start.

 

Now about clothes. You mentioned you have a larger body. I do too, although height is not a big problem for me. But I've found that Blair has large enough clothes for me. And for t-shirts, undergarments and things, JMS (Just My Size) is good. 

 

Even if you are going to shop at a store, it may help to look online so you can get an idea which stores sell clothing that may fit you and that you like. That way you won't have to drive from store to store just trying to find one that sells clothes in your size. Have fun with shopping!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

 

PS: Oh yes, about size charts. There are general size charts, but womens clothing sizes can vary from store to store. When looking online, most stores offer size charts for their clothing and directions for measurements. Buying a sewing measuring tape (not sure what it's actually called) is invaluable. The size chart area should tell you where to measure.

[Charlize]

Welcome Rose.

 Coming out to family is often the hardest thing we can do.  If you are able i would go to a therapist prior to coming out to your parents or perhaps mention to them that you have some issues you need to talk to someone about.  My therapist helped me not only find a path too myself but also helped me with my family.  Often they will meet with parents if that would help.

I know it is difficult to be a tall woman.  I'm not as tall as you but do to my hight have had some fantastic experiences as a woman once i became comfortable in myself.  One woman who is a manager at a local supermarket and i have a great time talking about hight.  She is a stunning blond, well dressed and wearing heels.  I look up at her when we speak.  She laughs as i tell her about helping short women reach higher items in the store.  She said she loves looking down at her bosses(all men) and believes that why she has gotten promotions.  

Glad you've joined us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Hi, you may want to consider visiting a support meeting/group in your area. Seeing, meeting, and talking with others in real life would gain you lot's of information.

 

For the tall lady, there are online retailers that also offer their wares.

 

You can find some at this resource.

 

https://www.tallwomen.org//

 

Long Tall Sally is one such outfit (I think they may be a little pricey on some things). They cater to the tall woman, offer shoes up to ladies size 15 for example.

 

https://www.longtallsally.com/

 

Best wishes

 

C -

[Jani]

Hello Rose and welcome.  Lots of good advise from my friends.  Unfortunately finding clothing for taller women is a bit difficult but not impossible.  I started around your height but have lost some inches as I aged.  The big thing is sleeve length.  I used to be a stickler for the correct length sleeves but now I frequently wear a "fashionable" 3/4 sleeve that would be full length on others.  I've gotten used to it.  As a taller girl, I recommend only picking up things that truly fit well otherwise you just won't wear them, or if you do you'll be uncomfortable.  The key to all this is being comfortable and being yourself.  Please join in the conversation.  

 

Jani

[BrandiBri]

Welcome to TransPulse Rose.

 

Hugs,

Brandi