Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Surgery


Cindy Truheart

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone, so I'm having surgery in a couple days and I'm frightened out of my mind. I've never had surgery before, I don't even let them knock me out when I go to the dentist and have teeth pulled. I'm having second thoughts about it, but I'm not sure why. It's a trachea shave and a partial FFS (forehead and hairline, plan to do the rest later as I can afford it). I can't stand to comb my hair back and when I'm not working I always wear a hat. When I'm at work I brush it forward so that it covers everything and it's long enough now to cover my eyes if I let it. I wear a scarf when I go out in public, I won't be seen without one. Even now, as I'm about to leave for my support group, I won't go without a scarf or a hat. Summer is coming though, and I want to go swimming or just be outside and active. And that's why I'm having these things done, because I can't go outside without a hat and a scarf.

 

Anyway, I'm fighting depression too, and I'm not entirely sure why. My Endo cut my E in half because it was WAY too high, now it's where it's supposed to be according to the doctors. But I took my injection Saturday and I'm already crashing. I won't take the next one for ten more days, but I'm crying and getting pi$$ed off for stupid things right now. I don't know anymore. I just don't feel right and getting them to re-test me is a pain. Well, I have to go. Hopefully I can keep it together for group tonight.

Link to comment

Hey Cindy! Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. Surgery anxiety is rough, but not surprising. It's a pretty major event. Is it a specific part of the surgery you're worried about or lots of things?

I've not had FFS yet, but I have had a couple of other operations in which I was given general anesthesia (knocked out). My experiences have been really good. The doctors, nurses, surgeons, etc. I have had have been very good at making me feel comfortable and relaxed. The process of going under is also really quick and just like you hear: a couple of deep breaths, maybe count backwards or answer a quick question and the next thing you know you're waking up in recovery. 

Remember, too, that you're in control of this. If you get to the point where you decide you really don't want to do it, that's OK. You don't need to do anything you don't want to. 

Hang in there! I bet the group tonight will be really helpful.  And we're here for you!

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You'll be fine.  Please try to relax a bit.  The trach shave may leave you a little hoarse and sore to swallow for a day but that's all. The area will be swollen and it will seem like nothing was done until is goes down.  The doctor will go as far as they can without impacting your vocal chords.  I can't speak to the FFS but you will be ok. 

 

It will take a little while for your body to adjust to a new dosage.  You'll have to come off the HRT when you have surgery but I found the time wasn't long enough to cause any issues.  When I re-started I had hot flashes for a day but that subsided soon.  

 

Enjoy your group tonight.

 

Jani 

Link to comment
19 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

Is it a specific part of the surgery you're worried about or lots of things?

 

I'm just nervous in general I think. I'm not a fan of pain and I've had my fair share in life so I guess I'm expecting it to be worse since it's surgery. I'm also not a fan of doctors and hospitals. If it was up to me I'd only go see a doctor when I'm bleeding, even then I'd hesitate if I thought I could sew or glue it back together myself!

 

Being depressed has something to do with it as well. I know the test supposedly says that my E is at a normal level, but I feel like crying all the time. If it wasn't for the fact that my surgery is tomorrow I'd take one of my left over pills from before I got on the shot. But I don't want a blood clot! In doing my research on the subject, I think that I can say that my hormone levels aren't close to being right. However, I'm holding off making changes until after surgery.

 

20 hours ago, Jani said:

You'll have to come off the HRT when you have surgery but I found the time wasn't long enough to cause any issues. 

 

I found this on Dr. Marci Bower's website.

 

" The time-honored dogma for patients undergoing vaginoplasty is that estrogens increase the risk for blood clots and that all hormones must be discontinued. This suspension of hormones leaves patients moody, depressed, achy and overall not feeling well around the time of surgery. On the other hand, we do not stop hormones or birth control pills in natal women undergoing gynecologic surgery. My feeling is that those same rules can apply for our patient population so long as we drop doses as low as possible. Such has been our philosophy since 2003 without incident. We do not interfere with those who have already discontinued their HRT on the advice of their home physicians or specialists. Dropping the dose as low as possible 4 weeks prior to surgery is our current advice except in patients with higher risk."

 

My doctor didn't say anything to me about stopping HRT. But I'm pretty sure that I'm about as low as possible... If my levels got any lower I think I'd be going into menopause!

 

And then there's that part of my brain that keeps whispering, "Are you sure you aren't making a mistake? This is permanent you know. Are you really sure? Really, really, REALLY sure?"  I keep reminding myself how self conscious I am about my forehead and throat. It's become almost an obsession to make sure these things are covered before I go out into the world.

 

I don't know anymore. All I do know is that I'm going to have this surgery. The thought of canceling is worse to me than the thoughts of my pain, my doubt, or my depression. Now I just need to convince the rest of me to understand that and get my heart to slow back down!

 

Anyway, thanks for the kind words ladies. *hugs*

Link to comment

Hopefully the surgery will go smoothly for you. Take a deep breath and keep your mind on the prize. Good luck 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
39 minutes ago, Cindy Truheart said:

And then there's that part of my brain that keeps whispering, "Are you sure you aren't making a mistake? This is permanent you know. Are you really sure? Really, really, REALLY sure?" 

 

This is a natural response to what you are anticipating.  It will pass.  I was not nervous when I had trachea surgery , just relieved as it fixed one element that made me stand out.  I remember after I had GRS I was washing and I thought "What have I done!"  But it was one time only and then it was "what a relief, I'm done".   I am certain you are REALLY Sure!  

 

Relax.

Jani 

Link to comment

I can't speak to the FFS but I can tell you from experience the trachea shave is a piece of cake. Recovery was easy.  Pain was nil.  I took tylenol for a day or two.  The worst part was the big "face bra" that went under my chin and over my head. Just keep your eyes on the prize Cindy :)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, DenimAndLace said:

The worst part was the big "face bra"

That's interesting.  My doctor used a "glue" instead of stitches and I just had a cotton bandage for two days.  

 

I agree, "Just keep your eyes on the prize Cindy. :)"

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Sorry I'm just now getting back here, it's been crazy! But I thought I would update everyone on my surgery! I woke up the morning of my procedure beyond confident that I was making the right choice! It was like my head cleared and all the doubts and fears vanished. I marched in there ready to get on with it! Thanks for the support everyone! First picture is 4 days after surgery, second one is 1 month and 1 week after. I know you can't see much in the second one but I still have VERY faint shiners and the incision at my hairline is still red but scabbed over nicely.

aftersurgery.jpg

aftersurgery2.jpg

Link to comment

Good for you, Cindy! You look happy and lovely :applause:

I'm glad to hear that you were confident right before the surgery. You were stressing a bit, which seems pretty normal, and it's good that you felt sure on the day. 

Looks like you're healing very well, too. How are you doing with recovery? Anything unexpected?

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment

I'm good for recovery now, but the Percoset they gave me had me puking up my toenails at first!! That's why I don't have an earlier picture from when the bandages came off! But I eventually got some Vicoden and all was good in the world again!

 

No complications though, just healing! I wish I could feel the top of my head! But otherwise, I'm doing good!

 

Love and light,

Cindy

Link to comment

Oh when I realized the morphine was making me sick I knew not to touch the the other pain killers.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congrats Cindy!   I can't stomach Percoset or Vicoden, plus they make my head spin.  I'm glad you found something that worked and that you are happy with the results.  Happiness cannot be over rated!  You look great.  

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You look great now but right after the operation it looks like you got into a bad fight.  even so you look very female. 

  I know that as an addict i have to be very careful with painkillers.  

 

Congratulations!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 128 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Ladypcnj
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Jet McCartney
    • Siobhan F
    • Mmindy
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • April Marie
    • KathyLauren
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,049
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LostAndForgotten
    Newest Member
    LostAndForgotten
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adamtoeve
      Adamtoeve
      (38 years old)
    2. Andy C.
      Andy C.
      (22 years old)
    3. Asher the Enby Goddex
      Asher the Enby Goddex
      (23 years old)
    4. camerashy
      camerashy
      (52 years old)
    5. Stacy S.
      Stacy S.
      (55 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      I've been seeing my new treating doctor for quite some time now, whenever I'm advised to make an appointment. When it comes to seeing a new treating doctor, hard part is starting all over again building trust between patient and doctor. On my first day seeing my new treating doctor, before I could say anything else to her, she explained to me I needed to be completely honest with her. I kind of expected that type of patient profiling response from her, since she doesn't specialize in intersex care. Anyway, I sat down in the chair as I explained to my new doctor, I don't have all of my hospital records, certain records from my childhood and teenager years are mysteriously missing regarding a surgery. After my examination was over, she disregarded or showed no interest in searching for my missing medical records, but instead she blamed me for how I take care of my health today. 
    • April Marie
      Saturday night @ 9PM Eastern.   PM @Susan R to be added to the list.  
    • Mmindy
      Yes, I will be volunteering at my city's PRIDE EVENTS, and attending several other events in the communities around my area.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Had a customer bring in her Subie for struts. I ordered fronts. later yesterday, the boss called me into the shop. the proceeds to say I ordered the wrong ones, the fronts instead of rears. Then today I got looking I did order the right ones the first time. All the paper work that I have says front even the last work order said fronts. I told the other boss. So, Have I gotten a sorry from the boss. Ha, ha, not yet. I am doubting I will ever get one.   Oh, well. life goes on.   Kymmie
    • Emily Chen
      Any incoming zoom meeting?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      While I agree with a lot of the campaign personally, I don't think a government-mandated reduction in childbirth is really necessary. As a young person, I hardly know anyone who wants to be a parent in the future. I think a lot of people will either be waiting a while or not having kids at all, meaning that the number of kids being born will probably decrease. Overcrowding's also mostly an urban issue -- plenty of places in rural America have plenty of space for both people and growing food.    Of course, everyone sees things differently, so I won't necessarily say you're wrong. I just think my generation is a lot less inclined to the family mindset than some that came before us. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      To me, it sounds like a solution searching for a problem.  I believe in the Russian perspective, that oil is abiotic and likely under every part of the Earth's surface.  There's plenty.  "Peak oil" and "climate" are excuses for government control.   As for roads, we use asphalt because tar and bitumen are a byproduct of fuel production, not the other way around.  Asphalt is not a great material, really.  It can also be recycled somewhat and used again.  Notice how road crews grind down existing asphalt into powder? Concrete is a better material for roads.  But in areas like where I live, very little of our roads are paved.  Gravel is a luxury, and a lot of roads are mud.  Same in many "developing" nations.  Pavement is better for transport, but its not like we would die without it.  Lack of pavement might actually be a good thing, as people might stay home more and food might be grown locally instead of relying on transportation.  It would stop this wacky idea of growing everything in California.     I believe the big crisis we face is globalism and government control.  Proposing some scheme to control our families? That's just more of the same.  Even if folks managed to get enough votes (or rig enough elections) to get the power to do that, it won't be as VP or president of the USA in its current 50-state form.  
    • VickySGV
      The months of June has already been planned out for me with only minimal time for sleep between the Trans Chorus Of Los Angeles and the various communities around me that are in the service area of the LGBTQ  Center I was on the Board of Directors of that are having Pride Events, both LGBTQ Pride and Trans Pride stand alone events.
    • Justine76
      Very cool. I've been clumsily navigating the world of makeup so this may help. Some of the tutorials on YouTube are so advanced, they may as well be speaking Klingon :P  
    • Lydia_R
      I've realized that our laptops are using much less plastic than they used to.  They are smaller devices that use less raw materials and are easier to ship and hold up better in shipping than bigger computers with removable parts.  They seem to have gotten rid of the overheating/fan problem for the most part, but there is a performance hit for that.  I use a 10yo desktop computer with a moderate level gaming video card to run 3 monitors.  I'm a producer though and most consumers have no need for that.   I really haven't watched TV since the 80's.  I spend some time researching on the internet and then I spend a lot of time meditating on the objects in my environment and on the streets.  From living on the streets for a year, I've learned that people can say anything and can control you, but the laws of physics and mathematics are outside of that and really even transcend time itself.  After people would not support my music, I built my life as a software engineer based on mathematics and engineering.  I've had a moderately successful career with that and have written code for many different industries.   The problem with stopping oil usage is that if we still need the bitumen to pave our roads and shingle our houses, then what do we do with the gas when we refine it?  There are natural deposits of bitumen, but you know, with so many people out there, demand is huge and we are using this stuff up.  If you grow corn for corn syrup, then what do you do with the cobs?  We've shipped coffee and bananas all over the world.  We took material from those environments.  What do we do now?  How long can it last?
    • Mmindy
      @Lydia_R I know you're doing the best you can, and I wish you the best.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ashley0616
      I think that threats that can be proven should be incarcerated for half the sentence of the one they would commit if carried out.  Lies unfortunately are just words unless as you stated if not under oath. 
    • Ivy
      I think it depends on where and how it's happening. We also need safe places where, the perhaps more easily intimidated, can feel free to express themselves.     And what about threats of violence?  Can this lead to a place where only the violent can have this freedom?  Is it "free speech" to threaten and intimidate opposing views into silence?  I mean maybe, if I can say anything - "if you don't shut up I'll kill you."   Or spreading lies?  (perhaps about an election). Lying is okay, unless you're under oath - for what that's worth.   Censoring books in schools?  That was fine until the bible was included.  (there is some nasty stuff in there) Then, there's what used to be that free speech birdie place.  You can denigrate queer people all you want, but "cis" is a slur, and prohibited?  Free speech as long as I like it? And let's not go into court cases and gag orders. Porn?
    • Ashley0616
      I have noticed when anyone speaks against their though process they don't like it no matter what sided. Republicans are quick to defend Trump when he's not professional and treats his employees like crap. One employee didn't get paid at all and then he had the nerve to say that he would sue the worker. He already has a model as his wife and still goes after other women. Biden gets lost quicker than a 2nd Lieutenant gets lost at land navigation. Not to mention his open border policy which is flooding the country and can't even take care of the American citizens that we have now. I could go on about both sides. I personally don't get mad at anything someone says to me. I know it's not true so I'm over it before it even starts. You have to have thick skin.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      That's really cool, actually, and I don't even wear make-up :o 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...