Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Surgery


Cindy Truheart

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone, so I'm having surgery in a couple days and I'm frightened out of my mind. I've never had surgery before, I don't even let them knock me out when I go to the dentist and have teeth pulled. I'm having second thoughts about it, but I'm not sure why. It's a trachea shave and a partial FFS (forehead and hairline, plan to do the rest later as I can afford it). I can't stand to comb my hair back and when I'm not working I always wear a hat. When I'm at work I brush it forward so that it covers everything and it's long enough now to cover my eyes if I let it. I wear a scarf when I go out in public, I won't be seen without one. Even now, as I'm about to leave for my support group, I won't go without a scarf or a hat. Summer is coming though, and I want to go swimming or just be outside and active. And that's why I'm having these things done, because I can't go outside without a hat and a scarf.

 

Anyway, I'm fighting depression too, and I'm not entirely sure why. My Endo cut my E in half because it was WAY too high, now it's where it's supposed to be according to the doctors. But I took my injection Saturday and I'm already crashing. I won't take the next one for ten more days, but I'm crying and getting pi$$ed off for stupid things right now. I don't know anymore. I just don't feel right and getting them to re-test me is a pain. Well, I have to go. Hopefully I can keep it together for group tonight.

Link to comment

Hey Cindy! Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. Surgery anxiety is rough, but not surprising. It's a pretty major event. Is it a specific part of the surgery you're worried about or lots of things?

I've not had FFS yet, but I have had a couple of other operations in which I was given general anesthesia (knocked out). My experiences have been really good. The doctors, nurses, surgeons, etc. I have had have been very good at making me feel comfortable and relaxed. The process of going under is also really quick and just like you hear: a couple of deep breaths, maybe count backwards or answer a quick question and the next thing you know you're waking up in recovery. 

Remember, too, that you're in control of this. If you get to the point where you decide you really don't want to do it, that's OK. You don't need to do anything you don't want to. 

Hang in there! I bet the group tonight will be really helpful.  And we're here for you!

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You'll be fine.  Please try to relax a bit.  The trach shave may leave you a little hoarse and sore to swallow for a day but that's all. The area will be swollen and it will seem like nothing was done until is goes down.  The doctor will go as far as they can without impacting your vocal chords.  I can't speak to the FFS but you will be ok. 

 

It will take a little while for your body to adjust to a new dosage.  You'll have to come off the HRT when you have surgery but I found the time wasn't long enough to cause any issues.  When I re-started I had hot flashes for a day but that subsided soon.  

 

Enjoy your group tonight.

 

Jani 

Link to comment
19 hours ago, SugarMagnolia said:

Is it a specific part of the surgery you're worried about or lots of things?

 

I'm just nervous in general I think. I'm not a fan of pain and I've had my fair share in life so I guess I'm expecting it to be worse since it's surgery. I'm also not a fan of doctors and hospitals. If it was up to me I'd only go see a doctor when I'm bleeding, even then I'd hesitate if I thought I could sew or glue it back together myself!

 

Being depressed has something to do with it as well. I know the test supposedly says that my E is at a normal level, but I feel like crying all the time. If it wasn't for the fact that my surgery is tomorrow I'd take one of my left over pills from before I got on the shot. But I don't want a blood clot! In doing my research on the subject, I think that I can say that my hormone levels aren't close to being right. However, I'm holding off making changes until after surgery.

 

20 hours ago, Jani said:

You'll have to come off the HRT when you have surgery but I found the time wasn't long enough to cause any issues. 

 

I found this on Dr. Marci Bower's website.

 

" The time-honored dogma for patients undergoing vaginoplasty is that estrogens increase the risk for blood clots and that all hormones must be discontinued. This suspension of hormones leaves patients moody, depressed, achy and overall not feeling well around the time of surgery. On the other hand, we do not stop hormones or birth control pills in natal women undergoing gynecologic surgery. My feeling is that those same rules can apply for our patient population so long as we drop doses as low as possible. Such has been our philosophy since 2003 without incident. We do not interfere with those who have already discontinued their HRT on the advice of their home physicians or specialists. Dropping the dose as low as possible 4 weeks prior to surgery is our current advice except in patients with higher risk."

 

My doctor didn't say anything to me about stopping HRT. But I'm pretty sure that I'm about as low as possible... If my levels got any lower I think I'd be going into menopause!

 

And then there's that part of my brain that keeps whispering, "Are you sure you aren't making a mistake? This is permanent you know. Are you really sure? Really, really, REALLY sure?"  I keep reminding myself how self conscious I am about my forehead and throat. It's become almost an obsession to make sure these things are covered before I go out into the world.

 

I don't know anymore. All I do know is that I'm going to have this surgery. The thought of canceling is worse to me than the thoughts of my pain, my doubt, or my depression. Now I just need to convince the rest of me to understand that and get my heart to slow back down!

 

Anyway, thanks for the kind words ladies. *hugs*

Link to comment

Hopefully the surgery will go smoothly for you. Take a deep breath and keep your mind on the prize. Good luck 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
39 minutes ago, Cindy Truheart said:

And then there's that part of my brain that keeps whispering, "Are you sure you aren't making a mistake? This is permanent you know. Are you really sure? Really, really, REALLY sure?" 

 

This is a natural response to what you are anticipating.  It will pass.  I was not nervous when I had trachea surgery , just relieved as it fixed one element that made me stand out.  I remember after I had GRS I was washing and I thought "What have I done!"  But it was one time only and then it was "what a relief, I'm done".   I am certain you are REALLY Sure!  

 

Relax.

Jani 

Link to comment

I can't speak to the FFS but I can tell you from experience the trachea shave is a piece of cake. Recovery was easy.  Pain was nil.  I took tylenol for a day or two.  The worst part was the big "face bra" that went under my chin and over my head. Just keep your eyes on the prize Cindy :)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, DenimAndLace said:

The worst part was the big "face bra"

That's interesting.  My doctor used a "glue" instead of stitches and I just had a cotton bandage for two days.  

 

I agree, "Just keep your eyes on the prize Cindy. :)"

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Sorry I'm just now getting back here, it's been crazy! But I thought I would update everyone on my surgery! I woke up the morning of my procedure beyond confident that I was making the right choice! It was like my head cleared and all the doubts and fears vanished. I marched in there ready to get on with it! Thanks for the support everyone! First picture is 4 days after surgery, second one is 1 month and 1 week after. I know you can't see much in the second one but I still have VERY faint shiners and the incision at my hairline is still red but scabbed over nicely.

aftersurgery.jpg

aftersurgery2.jpg

Link to comment

Good for you, Cindy! You look happy and lovely :applause:

I'm glad to hear that you were confident right before the surgery. You were stressing a bit, which seems pretty normal, and it's good that you felt sure on the day. 

Looks like you're healing very well, too. How are you doing with recovery? Anything unexpected?

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment

I'm good for recovery now, but the Percoset they gave me had me puking up my toenails at first!! That's why I don't have an earlier picture from when the bandages came off! But I eventually got some Vicoden and all was good in the world again!

 

No complications though, just healing! I wish I could feel the top of my head! But otherwise, I'm doing good!

 

Love and light,

Cindy

Link to comment

Oh when I realized the morphine was making me sick I knew not to touch the the other pain killers.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congrats Cindy!   I can't stomach Percoset or Vicoden, plus they make my head spin.  I'm glad you found something that worked and that you are happy with the results.  Happiness cannot be over rated!  You look great.  

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You look great now but right after the operation it looks like you got into a bad fight.  even so you look very female. 

  I know that as an addict i have to be very careful with painkillers.  

 

Congratulations!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 114 Guests (See full list)

    • KiraGirl
    • violet r
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • MaybeRob
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MAN8791
    • VickySGV
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,049
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LostAndForgotten
    Newest Member
    LostAndForgotten
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adamtoeve
      Adamtoeve
      (38 years old)
    2. Andy C.
      Andy C.
      (22 years old)
    3. Asher the Enby Goddex
      Asher the Enby Goddex
      (23 years old)
    4. camerashy
      camerashy
      (52 years old)
    5. Stacy S.
      Stacy S.
      (55 years old)
  • Posts

    • KathyLauren
      Hi, M.A.  Welcome to Transgender Pulse!   I am sure you will find a lot of people with similar stories to your own.  Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences.  THis is one of the most supportive forums.   Regards, Kathy
    • Susan R
      @Emily Chen I can add you to the list of those getting the Zoom Link. Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend. As April Marie pointed out, the next meeting begins May 4th Saturday night @ 9PM Eastern or 6pm Pacific Time. Will continue for at leas 3 hours. Feel free to join or leave at any time.    Susan R🌷
    • Lydia_R
      Thanks for your thoughtful reply @RaineOnYourParade.  I totally understand and agree with what you said.  I'm in no way proposing a law to decrease population.  It must be done on the demand side.  My role in this is simply to be highly visible and inspiring on many different levels and cultures from around the world.   We tend to focus on changing laws and that is addressing things on the supply side.  If we make a law to tax a type of business to try to steer the economy, we are changing the supply side.  People don't think of politics as a demand side thing, but our leaders should be inspiring us to change our behaviors.  Like the motto I was taught in the Navy "lead by example".  Although I could have tried to do this all with my music, I was not going to be successful with that.  It's reasonable to try to have a career as a highly visible politician to lead like this.   I never had any children that I know about.  I've had a pretty fabulous life.  Lots of ups and downs.  Lots of adventures.  Because I wasn't watching TV and I wasn't having children, I had to fill my time with something.  Although I am super ambitious with this political thing, all I really want to do is cook a nice curry dinner and have an intimate evening playing music for/with a partner and/or a friend or two.  And of course I enjoy cleaning the house and doing some writing, math and things.  I try to give back to society, but I'm not one of these people who just wants to serve.   It's very encouraging what the younger generation is doing in my opinion.  It's rough around the edges and I feel we could be more intentional about things.  Since population is declining, and I'm suggesting it to decline even more, we'll have this problem of there not being enough young people to take care of the old people.  I'm very strong on protecting our younger generation from having to babysit old people.  There simply aren't enough of them to do it like it is being done now.  I think this population reduction stuff is so important and this younger generation is just inheriting all these realities that I want to totally get them out of the business of taking care of older people.  The idea is to get medications mailed to them.  Make doctor visits very short and sweet.  Get old people staffing old folks homes.  I think we have a huge problem with mental health treatment in this country.  I think our economic realities from greater automation and income disparity have lead too many people to fall into despair.  We have to do something with our time and if we get rid of jobs with automation, and we stop making making housing (a decreasing population doesn't need more housing), then we still have to do something with our time.  I was successful at fighting addiction with relatively low carbon emitting work.  I make apps on the computer and record music in my living room.  I don't own a car.  I've been working part time from home for 12 years.  I actually work an excessive amount to do politics like this, but I have had periods of downtime.     Totally!  I think that humanity is just going to go in reverse here and these rural areas are going to be popular with younger people.  Set them up with some wind turbines.  Adjust to not having power 24/7.  Plenty of space to grow food.  Keep up the roads well enough to truck in some grains and other supplies.  As long as climate change doesn't cause some kind of environmental or insect problem, I think these rural places are going to be great.  I think we'll have to pick and choose which ones to continue supporting and which ones to abandon.  There are always details to work out.   I think in a world that is aging with declining population, people who are more unhealthy are going to be moving towards the cities and people who are healthier and middle age will move to the suburbs.  The suburbs are OK places as long as you are strong enough to get around by bicycle.  As someone who is 53 and physically fit, I groove on the idea of those big houses in the suburbs becoming house parties.  Perhaps I'm just dreaming though! LOL!   @awkward-yet-sweet is making some interesting points here.  My first wife did concrete work on the freeways in Chicago.  They do that up there because the extreme cold cracks the asphalt.  Those freeways are annoying with all the bumping between joints, but the roads last a long time.  But it takes a lot of industrial heat to make concrete.  Yes, humanity got along without the paved roads before and we can do it again.  We all inherited this world the way it is.  Sure, us older people contributed to it as well, but this whole industrialization/globalization thing has been going on a long time.  Perhaps we will avoid the horse and buggy thing and do a lot of mountain biking?
    • Vidanjali
      To be the witness Of thoughts, words, deeds done by Thee, Dispassionately.
    • MAN8791
      Hi, I'm . . . . let's go with initials for now. M.A. works. I've been out as genderfluid for about a year but finding I have more questions about my identity now than I did this time last year. I'm AFAB, in my mid forties, widowed parent with three teens (god help me!).   I have a new therapist as of two weeks ago, a decision I made with the help of my previous therapist and my new one specializes in LGBTQ+ needs so very well equipped to deal with my hot mess. We started screening for gender dysphoria this week and my response to almost every question she asked was "wait, that's not normal?" I don't live in a particularly sheltered bubble but somehow I seem to be much better at recognizing when my friends are struggling, than when I'm struggling myself.   I'm a freelance writer and graphic designer, and in my "free time" (lol, TWO of my offspring are theatre/band/choir kids, and the third is an aspiring screenwriter, y'all can imagine the sheer chaos easily) I write plays/musicals, and poetry.
    • VickySGV
      Sounds like time for a new Body Technician hopefully one that is actually a Doctor Of Medicine, this one you describe is short of that mark.
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi Lydia, I had McAfee before on my other computer and it allowed over 19 viruses to come in yikes lol
    • Ladypcnj
      I've been seeing my new treating doctor for quite some time now, whenever I'm advised to make an appointment. When it comes to seeing a new treating doctor, hard part is starting all over again building trust between patient and doctor. On my first day seeing my new treating doctor, before I could say anything else to her, she explained to me I needed to be completely honest with her. I kind of expected that type of patient profiling response from her, since she doesn't specialize in intersex care. Anyway, I sat down in the chair as I explained to my new doctor, I don't have all of my hospital records, certain records from my childhood and teenager years are mysteriously missing regarding a surgery. After my examination was over, she disregarded or showed no interest in searching for my missing medical records, but instead she blamed me for how I take care of my health today. 
    • April Marie
      Saturday night @ 9PM Eastern.   PM @Susan R to be added to the list.  
    • Mmindy
      Yes, I will be volunteering at my city's PRIDE EVENTS, and attending several other events in the communities around my area.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Had a customer bring in her Subie for struts. I ordered fronts. later yesterday, the boss called me into the shop. the proceeds to say I ordered the wrong ones, the fronts instead of rears. Then today I got looking I did order the right ones the first time. All the paper work that I have says front even the last work order said fronts. I told the other boss. So, Have I gotten a sorry from the boss. Ha, ha, not yet. I am doubting I will ever get one.   Oh, well. life goes on.   Kymmie
    • Emily Chen
      Any incoming zoom meeting?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      While I agree with a lot of the campaign personally, I don't think a government-mandated reduction in childbirth is really necessary. As a young person, I hardly know anyone who wants to be a parent in the future. I think a lot of people will either be waiting a while or not having kids at all, meaning that the number of kids being born will probably decrease. Overcrowding's also mostly an urban issue -- plenty of places in rural America have plenty of space for both people and growing food.    Of course, everyone sees things differently, so I won't necessarily say you're wrong. I just think my generation is a lot less inclined to the family mindset than some that came before us. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      To me, it sounds like a solution searching for a problem.  I believe in the Russian perspective, that oil is abiotic and likely under every part of the Earth's surface.  There's plenty.  "Peak oil" and "climate" are excuses for government control.   As for roads, we use asphalt because tar and bitumen are a byproduct of fuel production, not the other way around.  Asphalt is not a great material, really.  It can also be recycled somewhat and used again.  Notice how road crews grind down existing asphalt into powder? Concrete is a better material for roads.  But in areas like where I live, very little of our roads are paved.  Gravel is a luxury, and a lot of roads are mud.  Same in many "developing" nations.  Pavement is better for transport, but its not like we would die without it.  Lack of pavement might actually be a good thing, as people might stay home more and food might be grown locally instead of relying on transportation.  It would stop this wacky idea of growing everything in California.     I believe the big crisis we face is globalism and government control.  Proposing some scheme to control our families? That's just more of the same.  Even if folks managed to get enough votes (or rig enough elections) to get the power to do that, it won't be as VP or president of the USA in its current 50-state form.  
    • VickySGV
      The months of June has already been planned out for me with only minimal time for sleep between the Trans Chorus Of Los Angeles and the various communities around me that are in the service area of the LGBTQ  Center I was on the Board of Directors of that are having Pride Events, both LGBTQ Pride and Trans Pride stand alone events.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...