My second attempt at going to my GP

[Cthorne]

As it says in the title I have finally gotten up the guts to go back to the docs after my first failed attempt, I will totally be ready for the mental health comments this time but any ideas on what else to expect? Should I be doing research on stuff and how much should I actually tell them?

 

Thanks in advance 

Connor

[Kirsten]

From someone that’s had a lot of firsts the last couple months let me say congratulations! It took me a couple tries before I could actually make it in to my doc. But once I got there it was easier than I thought. That first sentence of “I want to transition” was hard to get out, but once I did things were okay. I didn’t really know too much about all of the process at that time either. But being open and honest has gotten me pretty far. I think it can be that simple. Try not to worry about things you have no control over. And just be you. 

❤️Kirsten❤️

[SugarMagnolia]

I agree with Kirsten. It gets easier!

There are two things that I've found to be true with most medical professionals:
1) They like corroboration and context. If you can demonstrate that you've put a reasonable amount of research and thought into something, they are more likely to take you seriously and not probe you for other explanations or tests that should be done to rule out other factors. Let them know you've spent a lot of time considering things.
2) They feel obligated by a specific request for something reasonable. If you're informed and you feel that something will help you, tell them straight out that that's what you want. "It's important to my well being and quality of life" seems to have magical properties. 

Of course, YMMV depending on your individual practitioner, but they're human just like everyone else and the right approach can make a difference.

Hugs,
Julie

[jae bear]

Hi Connor,

 I applaud you for going and thinking about taking this step, if you first you don’t succeed try, try again. I also agree that it’s really tough getting that first sentence of “I am trans” out there or telling your doctor that you identify as trans. I think I remember saying to my doctor that I identify as trans and went from there, the nerves were a wreck but I got through it. After that first experience it got a lot easier, I went to the therapist that my hospital offers inside my insurance network yesterday and I wasn’t even slightly nervous, in fact I think I was happy to see him in a genuine way. He was very pleasant And I was open and honest, I let myself shine through rather than continue to hide myself like I have for so long. Connor I promise you it will get better as it goes along. You will gain confidence with every meeting, and you won’t have to worry about rejection from your doctors, they are there precisely to help you through the process that you want to have occur. They do have to ask a lot of medical questions, and some of them may seem a little pointed or weird, but it all has to do with setting up the case so they can help you. I’ve had nothing but good experiences so far, but I agree the questions are many, and some rather personal, but They need this information to help so I’m gladly giving it and being as honest as I possibly can. I really think doctors are much more likely to help someone who is completely honest rather than someone that tells them what they want to hear because at the end of the day they know what those patronizing answers are and will see right through it.

Hugs,

Jae

[ChickenLittle]

Hi Connor, 

 

I just read one of your recent posts and it sounds like things have been rough for you lately. People can be so judgmental and they often expect us to have things 100% figured out in order to take us seriously. But it's okay not to know everything all at once and it's okay if your story or transition doesn't look like everybody else's. I hope this visit with your doc goes well. 

 

As for what to do for this specific visit, I agree with Julie! Her suggestions are spot-on. If you feel like you need somebody to chat with about things, feel free to send me a message. 

 

Good luck!

Kendall

[Cthorne]

Thanks for all the nice messages folks  I wish I could be as helpful to you guys  

[Charlize]

Conner as to how much to tell your doctor........I would suggest being as honest as you can be.  We are asking for help and that requires an openness that i found to be difficult at first but which in the long run made my journey easier and helped with the doubts and difficulties that are inevitable.  Best of luck

Your not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

14 hours ago, Cthorne said:

I wish I could be as helpful to you guys

Connor you are.  By being here and asking questions your experiences are available to others to learn from.  

 

Jani

[Cthorne]

Ok I need more help lol  How do you choose which GIC you want to go with? It seems wrong to just pick based on distance and waiting time... How did you folks choose?

[Jani]

OK.  Hopefully someone from the UK will chime in.  I believe there are waiting lists at many of the GIC's so you might call to inquire at few close ones to determine how soon an appointment might be given.  I don't think there should be any difference in availability of counselors for FtM v. MtF, but you might ask.   Best of luck.

 

Jani

[tracy_j]

Hi Connor, Sorry I am a bit late on this. Although I have no first hand experience of things here in the UK on transgender services I am familiar with the NHS. They are obliged under freedom of information to provide figures on waiting lists, and even guidelines for assessment, and other procedures the clinics use. Your GP is the first step, and they can be somewhat variable. I would say to be very open though. Don't forget, what they don't know cannot help them, or you. They are governed by medical confidentiality so is private. If you have not found it this link is useful as it leads to information on the process:

 

https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/transhealth/pages/transhealthhome.aspx

 

Another link that is quite useful is:

 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/guidelines/

 

I hope these are useful. Don't hesitate to ask if you have anything else to ask.

 

Good luck

 

Tracy

[Cthorne]

So  I did it! 

 

I went to my doctors early this morning and I was so nervous sitting in the waiting room, going over and over what I needed to say.... First off I would explain that I was super nervous because I had tried before and it hadn't gone well. Then I would tell them about all the changes I had made recently and how I had joined a support group and been seeing someone to talk about all this every week to two weeks.

 

Picture this.... Heart racing.... palms all yucky and sweaty..... its a warm sunny day and I'm out in my giant winter coat because I refuse to leave the house with out multiple layers of clothing... so I can feel my face getting hot and bright red.... and then the TV beeps and my name pops up with a room number.

 

I head to the corridor, almost picking the wrong one but thankfully no one notices... and I begin my journey through the maze that is my doctors but I finally find my room number and it just happens to be the last room at the very back of the building. I knock on the door to be polite  and I hear a man's voice... "Hello? Come in..." With a shaky hand I open the door and step inside... (I am ready! I have got this....) I turn around long enough to close my only escape when I hear... 

 

"So its Connor right? Nice day we're having isn't it?" I could actually feel the utter shock on my face!!

Five minutes later after a lovely chat and a referral filled out and ready to be sent off this afternoon. I'm heading for the door and hes telling me that I'm not alone and when I'm ready I can head to the reception and can get the paper work to change my name at the doctors.

 

A huge grin on my face and a pat on the back and off I go...

 

SO! MUCH! BETTER! THAN! THE! LAST! TIME!

 

[Jani]

This is such wonderful news Connor!  Your doctor was so disarming with his intro questions I'm sure you felt immediate relief and could talk comfortably.  This was the hardest time you will have.  The next time you have to meet someone new  you will have this experience and you won't be so stressed.  Congratulations.

 

Jani 

[SugarMagnolia]

Just sat down with my morning coffee to catch up and am so happy to see this wonderful news, Connor! That's great?

Thanks for sharing. You've made my morning! Congrats on a much better experience. ?

[Kirsten]

That’s great news Connor! That first step is so difficult. But now that you’ve made it, you can accomplish anything!! I’m so happy for you! 

❤️Kirsten❤️

[BrandiBri]

Wonderful news, Connor! As was already been said, next time will be easier. It gets easier each time out.

 

Hugs,

Brandi

[Cthorne]

 I am just so happy to know that its on the horizon  and the two year wait doesn't really bother me.. I mean I could have gone for one GIC that only has a 11 month waiting list or another which is about 14 months but I wanna take my time  I've found some ways to make myself feel better so I don't need to rush to get surgery and all that. 

[Jani]

Very good.  As we've said before this will be a good time to evolve and grow to better decide what direction you want to take your life.  I'm excited for you.  I wish I had been so aware and brave as you.  Instead it took me years.  Bravo! 

 

Jani 

[Aprilrain]

Hi, I am just awaiting my second appointment with my local NHS GIC, but in the beginning I went to my local doctors but chose not to see my regular/ registered doctor but instead did my research off the website and made an appointment with a female Dr that specialised in women's health there.

 

She was very supportive and started my referral straight away, I don't think I would have got this amazing support from my regular Dr and being male it would have been hard to be so open.

 

From that first appointment it took around 5/6 months for the telephone chat/ interview and the in total around 14 months to my first appointment with a psychiatrist which was this February the waiting list/ horror stories made it sound like 2+ years, but I do know my GIC had some of the longest times but they have taken on more staff and are slowly getting the wait times down.

 

They estimate around 6 moths from the first to second appointment, so expecting the next in August.

 

Go for it and the wait goes pretty quick with the odd tough week thrown in here or there.

 

 

[Giselle]

Hi Connor 

 

For me it was easily as she has been my GP for years and she's pretty liberal, so it wasn't hard.

She actually referred me to another doctor who specializes in trans issues, expensive as hell but worth it.

Good luck on your journey 

 

Giselle