MtF HRT - Today is Day 1

[Michelle F]

I ran into a couple of the people I met last Summer when I was homeless. They were offered the same exact

 opportunities I was.

 

Yet...

 

They are still hanging out in the same park. Pushing the same shopping cart...or one just like it. Some wearing what looks like even the same clothing towing the same luggage pack on wheels with an extendable handle...or one just like it. Maybe 12 baths since If we're lucky. All still eating at mission for free hot lunch. Not me we had grill burgers with grill peppers and sharp cheddar on local Cracked Wheat Sourdough bread...

I don't get it...

[Gwen]

On 5/17/2018 at 10:03 AM, Michelle F said:

Today I start MtF HRT. I am a bit nervous. A little fearful. In the past they (the shrinks) did their utmost best to denigerate, condemn and try to thoroughly convince me my thoughts and feelings were evil, misplaced and I must not go there.

 

All the reassurance I've gotten from peeps involved with the clinic is worthless one hour before appointment because of the past. 

 

I am walking in with head held high and doing my damndest to muster all the courage I have. 

 

My nails are done and hair is brushed! 

 

Here I go...

 

I'm so happy for you, Michelle!! Yes, the process can be challenging, but the rewards are almost too special to describe. I'm at 2 1/2 months and my inner life has changed dramatically. I feel soooooo feminine and much more sensitive - it's wonderful. Many here are mentioning crying, and I was brought to tears a dozen times this morning and the day is not done! I'm envious that you're ready to change your name/gender on documents. My life is a bit more complicated and this will take some time.

 

Good luck in everything and welcome to the sisterhood

 

Gwen

[Jani]

8 hours ago, Michelle F said:

I don't get it...

I think it is desire and a little luck.  We all know change is hard.  For some the status quo is comforting.  Seems odd to me...

 

Jani

[Michelle F]

Just got back from the Courthouse. Everything is filed. Waiting for hearing date...

 

I'm excited...!

[Jani]

Very Nice!!!

 

[Michelle F]

I PO'd my boyfriend... He said I'm being Hormonal... Don't know if I should laugh of what. He's beginning to treat me a bit differently recently...

 

Michelle

 

[Guest Rachel Gia]

Laughing it is a good idea

 

[Michelle F]

Yea...

[Michelle F]

Crying worked... LoL

 

He's not home yet... It's all good though.

He'll be back tomorrow.

 

We aren't married and we are not sexually engaged so he has all the space and freedom I enjoy. No pressure. It's nice...

[Charlize]

Michelle i found that early on in my HRT i had big mood swings.  Crying at times and crying at others.  Some of that may have been the action of the hormone change but i'm fairly certain now that there was also the joy and fear of what was ahead of me. Those swings have settled down for me.  If it becomes and issue with your boy friend you might want to explain that to him as i found i could be annoying to others during that time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Early on my emotions were all over the map!  But as time moved on they have settled down to a comfortable range.  You will too! 

Jani

[Michelle F]

On 5/19/2018 at 5:56 AM, Kirsten said:

Congratulations Michelle! Today I start my hrt as well!! 

Very cool ?

[Michelle F]

Sigh...

 

Shawn claims he understands. I have to believe him. He is still here and we still find laughter daily so I find it best to chalk it up to experience and proceed with caution and eyes wide open. 

 

Having found my voice is a major mile stone. Shawn said this pic tells it all...

 

[BrandiBri]

Great picture, hun. hope things continue to go well with you.

Hugs,

Brandi

[Jani]

very nice!

[Michelle F]

Thanks...

 

[Michelle F]

Funny how some people accept who you are with no expectations while others seem to want you to alter your own methodology to fit their expectations with all manner of form and function. In other words "if you don't change back you are no longer part of our clique." Expelled forever. Evil! A pariah..!

 

Some peeps have even gone so far as to say, "It's about time!" and become even closer friends.

 

I'm like "huh??!? What do you mean?" Apparently I have been displaying feminine attributes forever... LoL! 

[Jani]

Dr. Seuss was right all along.  "Those who matter don't mind. Those who mind don't matter." 

 

3 hours ago, Michelle F said:

Apparently I have been displaying feminine attributes forever... LoL!

I think this is something many of us are guilty of.  HA! 

 

Jani

[Michelle F]

It's definitely a unique rollercoaster.

 

I have a couple medical issues not associated with my transition. One is my back. L4-5, S1, S3, S5 and a lump on throat. Biopsy next week. Scary stuff.

Hard to feel pretty with this gawd awful lump!

[Jani]

I'm glad to hear you're going to get them looked at.  I know you're not happy but try to focus on the good things that are happening in your life.  

 

Hugs, Jani

[Charlize]

Best of luck with the dear.  Try not to worry about it.  Let us know how it goes.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Aiyanna]

Best of luck to you, Michelle! I am very happy for you! Hold your head high and don't be ashamed to be who you are ❤️

[Rachael]

I hope you get a good report from your doctor. Keep thinking good thoughts. 

[Michelle F]

Thank all for your kind words.

 

The part I hate the most is waiting. I got my Dentures Friday but I can't afford the glue so I have to wait till payday. They want $13,750 for semi permanent, bolt secured uppers. Partials on bottom.

 

Geeez! I can buy a new Mini Cooper for that!

[Jani]

Yes but you can't chew dinner with a Mini Cooper!