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General passing as a Female(MTF)


Lady Ayu

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Good morning everyone!!(it's morning here XD)

I hope everyone is doing fine ^^

It might seem pretty generic and I;m sure it's been asked a hundred times but: Are there any general tips for passing as a woman in public?? I have yet to leave my house en femme but I have some plans to meet friends coming soon; and I wanna do it as the real me. I feel like if I act as I usually act I will do somewhat well but I could use any pointers my sisters and brothers could offer; I;m still really new to this and reading about it has both emboldened me and frightened me silly. so please, Ladies, Gentlemen any big pointers for me?? Anything would be better than nothing :3

 

~Mayumi~

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I can't advise you on what to wear other than don't dress too flamboyantly and draw excessive attention to yourself, just be your natural self. Avoid worrying about what others are seeing or saying, avoid direct eye contact other than with friends, and avoid looking around furtively as that signals anyone who is observing that you are hiding something and feel self conscious . These elements are some of the very basic stuff that makes a big difference when being out in public.

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I had advice from a couple of friends to observe what women around my age would wear out in public, as I was in my mid sixties I looked for older women and took keys as what would be appropriate from there. I started in what would be a subtle dressed down manor and went from there ,usually a pair of pants and a top but nothing that would draw attention to me, eventually I was confident enough to wear a skirt in public, my advice would be take small steps until you are comfortable and more importantly confident in your appearance.

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Guest Rachel Gia

The stuff above is perfect and dressing to kill will out you faster than a baritone.

Longs sleeves that downplay arms and hands is what I can add.

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  • Forum Moderator

All good suggestions here.  Go conservative in clothing selection and makeup.  I find less is more when it come to my face.  A little foundation to smooth things out, a bit of blush and maybe eyebrow pencil to define the line.  Above all have fun. 

 

Jani

 

 

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  • Admin

Where will you be going while dressed?  What type of neighborhood will you be in?  Do you know of any safe venue's in the area?  Questions questions questions!!   If there is a support group at an LGBT Center near you, my suggestion would be to go there and let them help you get the answers to going out.  My first time out nearly 2 decades ago was just to a restaurant, but it had a theme of Drag Performers, and it was pretty obvious that most of the people there were Trans or Allies, I had on a white top and a black knee top length wrap-around skirt and a wig about twice the hair volume that I wear now, but since I was with a group, I had my make-up done subtly by the group sponsor, and it was about what I wear today when I wear any.  From your profile picture, I would suggest looking to Laverne Cox or Janet Mock as some role models, out of movie/TV character, both have nice business/cocktail dress styles with some touches of fun to them.  Best tip though, is to be comfortable with yourself while out.  Be you as you know your inner self.  For Rest rooms,. go with a buddy even if there is a single user one there, that is a girl thing.  Have the confidence that for you this is the right thing and nothing to be ashamed of.  Good luck and you will do very well.

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All good points people, thanks for the tips I will keep them in mind as the outing approaches.

 

13 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Where will you be going while dressed?  What type of neighborhood will you be in?  Do you know of any safe venue's in the area?

 

As for the neighborhood, I don't know it very well but my friends do and I trust them, and I can union the 1st and 3rd question by saying we're going to a safe Venue; it's actually a LGBT bar I've been to before just, never en femme. My friends tell me I should just relax but I'm gonna freak out until I get there and take in the atmosphere a bit lol

 

Thanks again for the tips everyone!! Feel free to add to them if you can think of anything else important!! ❤️

 

~Mayumi~

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  • Admin
47 minutes ago, Lady Ayu said:

As for the neighborhood, I don't know it very well but my friends do and I trust them, and I can union the 1st and 3rd question by saying we're going to a safe Venue; it's actually a LGBT bar I've been to before just, never en femme.

 

You asked for tips about going out for the first time, and my questions were actually tips on going out.  I am glad you had the answers well ahead of time, and that will help you be out and comfortable which adds so much to being out there.

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if in doubt get a taxi to destination and always meet up with friends i agree with makeup less is more too much makeup makes you look like drag queen always dress for occasion dont make yourself centre of attention be confident but not flambouyant wear the right colours for the right seasons

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1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

 

You asked for tips about going out for the first time, and my questions were actually tips on going out.  I am glad you had the answers well ahead of time, and that will help you be out and comfortable which adds so much to being out there.

 

I'm sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you Vicky, trust me I wasn't; I just wanted to anwser your questions since you were the only one who was asking questions. I didn't want your responses to feel ignored. You actually gave me some great advice and some role models I'm gonna look up later!! Things get miscommunicated through text x-x

 

~Mayumi~

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  • Forum Moderator

If you can remember how others either trans* or cis female were dressed when you last attended the club that might well help.  Going to a gay bar can be an opportunity to go a bit over the top but even so anywhere where alcohol is being served can be more dangerous.  Please be careful and enjoy yourself.  My early trips to gay bars gave me some early confidence and a great deal of fun.  I had some problems with assault but sidestepped the worst of those incidents.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

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