Male who prefers feminine skin

[Martyn]

I’m 46 and ever since puberty I’ve always hated body hair, frustratingly tho when I shaved my arms my parents said only girls shave like that not boys - from that point onwards I felt shame for wanting to be smooth skinned, not just smooth but more feminine skinned.  I’ve been married now for 19 years and it was only two years ago that I plucked up the courage to talk to my wife about it, she was very sceptical and dubious about my motives for a l

[Martyn]

Just now, Martyn said:

I’m 46 and ever since puberty I’ve always hated body hair, frustratingly tho when I shaved my arms my parents said only girls shave like that not boys - from that point onwards I felt shame for wanting to be smooth skinned, not just smooth but more feminine skinned.  I’ve been married now for 19 years and it was only two years ago that I plucked up the courage to talk to my wife about it, she was very sceptical and dubious about my motives for a l

Pressed send by mistake ☺️ .... my motives for a long time but has slowly begun to accept the new me, I started with shaving at first then full body waxing and now full body laser along with anti-androgen meds too.also started to have beard and face lasered, can’t wait for the new me to fully emerge :0) 

[Jani]

Hello Martyn.  Welcome!  You are certainly not alone in the dislike of body hair.  I've been fortunate in that regard.  That's good that your wife has come around to a point of acceptance, even if a little.  It's certainly a start.  I hope to see you around the forums.

 

Cheers, Jani

[tracy_j]

Hi Martyn. Welcome

 

You are certainly not alone in your thoughts there. It is not unusual at all for men to have shaved bodies these days. Gender boundaries are blurred to say the least! I can understand your wife's reaction. Gender stereotypes are very inground.

 

Tracy

[Martyn]

4 hours ago, Jani said:

Hello Martyn.  Welcome!  You are certainly not alone in the dislike of body hair.  I've been fortunate in that regard.  That's good that your wife has come around to a point of acceptance, even if a little.  It's certainly a start.  I hope to see you around the forums.

 

Cheers, Jani

Hi Jani

thank you for the welcome, I feel I’ve started on a journey, likely to be ups n downs along the way and not entirely sure if I’ll achieve the results that I’m craving, all I know is I’m determined to try everything to achieve it, but am very conscious of not rocking the boat too much at home - a fine balance is not easy sometimes.

[Martyn]

29 minutes ago, tracy_j said:

Hi Martyn. Welcome

 

You are certainly not alone in your thoughts there. It is not unusual at all for men to have shaved bodies these days. Gender boundaries are blurred to say the least! I can understand your wife's reaction. Gender stereotypes are very inground.

 

Tracy

Hi Tracy 

thank you for your comments, yes stereotypes are what has held me back for the last 3 decades on this subject, it was one hell of a build up from my point of view - I can remember very clearly how emotional I felt whilst having my first waxing, to see one arm and hand so hairy as it has done all my adult life next to the other arm and hand that was now free of hair and much more feminine in appearance, the beautician was very understanding of my feelings which was a huge help. Thankfully tho waxing is no longer needed and hopefully the laser treatments along with the meds I’m taking will keep it all at bay.  I must say though I’ve recently started to adopt a daily skin care regime, it feels great to start seeing the results and I actually quite enjoy pampering myself too, I’ve never paid any attention to my appearance before starting this journey, have even started doing 30mins morning and night time on the excersise bike and cut out all the junk food in order to loose weight and get fitter generally.

another topic that has clouded my thoughts has been a life long issue with errectile dysfuntion, it has been an issue since my teens and I thought it was just a confidence issue, hence my early experiences were extremely limited due to this. When I met my now wife she was and still is very understanding on the subject, over the years I’ve tried all the usual pills and devices all with very limited responses. Since starting the anti-androgen meds this has obviously worsened the situation, so as of the past couple of months I’ve now started using the caverject injections, and although uncomfortable and rather un romantic they seem to provide some much needed ability to perform somewhere near normal, have only used them twice so far so it’s early days yet. All in all it’s been lots changes which my wife has so far managed to cope with, I feel very lucky that she’s so understanding and compassionate towards me and I realise I must have pushed her to her limits at times.

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Martyn,

A wonderful thing I've learned is that there is no need to feel ashamed of who we are. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[Martyn]

5 minutes ago, Timber Wolf said:

Hi Martyn,

A wonderful thing I've learned is that there is no need to feel ashamed of who we are. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Hiya, thanks for that - acceptance has been a huge obstacle but I am so much happier even just admitting I like having girlie looking skin ?

[FiveMagics]

The same thing happened to me when I was younger. I wanted to shave my legs because the silky soft texture made me feel beautiful. When my mom saw it, she shamed me and I had to stop. I always wanted to go back to it though. Now I use an epilator and shave sometimes too. I only want hair on top of my head. I even went through having facial electrolysis because I just didn’t want facial hair. Not transitioning at all, just wanted to be softer. 

[Martyn]

Hiya Five, we seem to have had similar experiences don’t we, I too want my facial hair gone, I’ve been having laser which has reduced it a fair bit, ‘‘tis a slow process tho - can’t wait for it all to be gone.

like you I don’t wish to transition but I’m considering taking oestrogen to counter act symptoms caused by taking anti androgen meds, it would help with achieving more feminine skin too :0)

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi Martyn

 

What you do with your body is up to you.   Tattoo it, paint it blue doesnt matter...  Like quite a few people these days, i choose my friends by their personal qualities, not by how they appear..we us human beings for the best part are wonderful, mind beautiful and awesomely unique individuals.  Live everyday with that thought...   Diversity is the essence of who we all are...to be anything else aint human....    Live it up.....Be yourself.....  All the best

 

Warm regards

 

Melissa

[Beverly]

Hi Martyn!

 

I've always been a smoothie as well. I'm very thankful I didn't have a normal male puberty, because I have the same dislike of body hair. I have much less body hair than most cisgender women, even before starting HRT. I don't mind if a guy I date has it - that's only natural. It's wonderful that you can be your smooth self around your wife! Best wishes on your journey!

 

Cheers!

Beverly

[Astrid]

@MelissaAndProudOfit > Like quite a few people these days, i choose my friends by their personal qualities, not by how they appear..

 

That is so wonderfully stated, Melissa!  Wishing many more people took that advice to heart...

 

With thanks,

 

Astrid