What is your least favorite part of transitioning?

[Kirsten]

As the title says, what’s yours? 

 

For me its by far the waiting. You have to wait for results. You have to wait for appointments. You have to wait for meds. You have to wait to talk to therapists. They make you wait for a letter of needed. And so much more.

 Every single thing you have to do has waiting involved. Wouldn’t it be so nice if everyone else just worked on your schedule and timeframe?! 

[SugarMagnolia]

Similar for me, too. But more related to choosing when to do things and trying to find the right sequence and timing: when to come out at work, when to get FFS, when to change IDs, etc.

I'm quite lucky to have this much control really, but if I had to pick the part I liked the least that would be it. 

[Jani]

I agree the waiting is the hardest part (sounds like there's a song in there).   But anything worth having or doing is worth waiting for!   Plus, sometimes its good to struggle a little, just to prove that it is what you want.   And this is a big deal; its not like deciding what color shirt to wear or what to have for lunch.  

 

Jani  

[Cheyenne skye]

3 hours ago, Jani said:

I agree the waiting is the hardest part (sounds like there's a song in there).   But anything worth having or doing is worth waiting for!   Plus, sometimes its good to struggle a little, just to prove that it is what you want.   And this is a big deal; its not like deciding what color shirt to wear or what to have for lunch.  

 

Jani  

Tom Petty☝️

[jae bear]

 Oh my goodness this resonates with me so big !  I think the waiting is very typically what bothers me most, but it’s waiting for my facial hair to be completely removed, it feels like I can’t go out in public having stuble, and next to that letting my hair grow seems to be taking forever, but hopefully by the time FFS rolls around in 10 or 11 months both electrolysis and my growing hair will allow me some passability  in between the completion of FFS and augmentation .

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

[Jani]

9 hours ago, jae bear said:

it’s waiting for my facial hair to be completely removed

It only goes by doing the time.  For me it's been three years of dedication.  Almost there! 

 

Hair on your head typically grows a half in a month so it won't take long as long as you don't cut it in frustration!  It will get to a point where it seems unmanageable.  

Jani

[VickySGV]

In thinking back, while there were several things at various times the least favorite things for me are the occasional yeast infections in my underside area.  They are more annoying than anything I had as a guy.  ?

 

(Note that I am post-op.)

[Kara Zor-El]

The thought of losing my wife and children... 

[Lexi]

@Cluck1992 ditto hunni.

 

Love between parent and child is equal. Think - if your child was to screw up reeeeeeaaaaaalllyy bad you would love them no less. They adapt much quicker than adults to new ideas too. 

 

Spouse is different. A lifetime of programming is being torn down in a ridiculously small period of time. There aren't as many resources to help them in their transition as there is to help us with ours. I found the following links to be the most helpful in understanding and helping my wife:

 

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,220120.0.html and 

https://www.thecut.com/2015/09/trans-wives-transitioning.html

 

Hope it helps ?

 

Lexi, 

  Xoxo

[Kara Zor-El]

Thanks Lexi (love your name, it's actually one of the names I'm considering for myself. :)) 

I've seen both of those, what I've really struggled to find is an article that helps spouses understand how someone can hide this even from themselves and not realize until later in life. 

I don't fear my children not accepting me so much as if my wife decided she no longer can love, I know she'd get custody and I'm in no position mentally (or financially for that matter) for a legal battle. Thanks for the positive thoughts though. 

[KoreyA]

Quote

 

People shutting me out of their life.My first ex wife did this to me telling her I am going to transition last week,told me to leave and not to speak to her ever again

[jo jo]

unhappiness being trapped friends ignoring you transition not moving fast enough dare i go on lol

 

[Lexi]

@Cluck1992 I found explaining that it was due to her making me comfortable enough that I wasnt afraid to tell her. That were it not for her I'd still be a broken version of myself. She helped free me from myself and I can never thank her enough. 

[Lizzie McTrucker]

I find the waiting to be a necessary evil of the entire process. If you rush the process, you don't have time to really experience or enjoy the journey. It gives you and the people in your life time to adjust to the changes you're going through. I also feels it weeds out people who lack the dedication and commitment, but all in all, it gives you time to think and reflect about if this is something you really, truly, want to do.

 

My therapist had told me there have been cases where people rushed the entire process, woke up after the operation, and panicked because the reality of what they did just hit them...and they weren't ready for it. I'm guessing those are the people who regretted their transition. Having to wait, even for the little things, gives you time to think and process and really figure out if this is something you really want to do, because a few of these steps are permanently life-changing and once it's done, you either can't go back or it's expensive to reverse it.

 

...also hair grows in cycles, so it's important to wait 4-6 weeks between hair removal treatments to ensure you get everything. 
It's part of being thorough. ?

[Jani]

Liz everything you wrote is so true!  

 

Anything worth having is worth waiting for.   But in reality its not waiting at all, its going through the steps and motions to make sure we touch all the bases and are comfortable before moving on.   I have certainly had times when I had to pull back because I caught myself "speeding" too much for my own good.  

 

I hope you're doing well!  

Jani

[Cyndee]

For me, it was facial hair removal, electrolysis is really terrible, and I needed a lot. The results are nice and permanent, but it took me lot's of trips over the course of many years, I've spent over 25 k. Early on you had to grow out on certain days before a treatment and it's yucky, that would be my least favorite part of transitioning....

 

C -

[Lizzie McTrucker]

8 hours ago, CyndiRae said:

Early on you had to grow out on certain days before a treatment and it's yucky, that would be my least favorite part of transitioning....

 

I'll second this. Probably my least favorite part of this journey so far.

I'm going to guess that stuff you have to drink the day before GRS will be my #2 (no pun intended? ?)

[Charlize]

  That may well be why i still haven't done electrolysis.  When i think of the cost, time, and discomfort i just haven't started.  I'm fortunate to have a light beard in color so if i do a real quick shave it just doesn't show.  I'd love the softness but.......

  For me the worst part of transition has been having heart issues that make HRT and other medical interventions difficult or impossible.

 

Hugs.

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Electrolysis is like the "Never ending story" or the "gift that keeps giving."  Eventually the hair gives up and stops appearing.   I'm three years into it and untold thousands of dollars.  

 

Jani

[Lexi]

Awww the place I go told me 6-9 sessions max. First session was soothing. I especially enjoy the aloe rub at the end. Second session was drastically more painful immediate and residual. The electrologist saw I was in more pain than the last time and mentions "certain times of the month *wink wink* can make it more painful" not sure if she was fishing or being genuine but I opted to believe the latter and keep it for when I need a smile. 

 

http://topelectrolysisnyc.com/12-tips-positive-electrolysis-experience/

I'll make sure to do these steps and let you all know how session #3 goes. 

 

Lexi, 

 xoxo

[DenimAndLace]

3 hours ago, Lexi said:

the place I go told me 6-9 sessions max

 

The average adult male has 30,000 follicles in his beard.  Even with flash electrolysis (the faster method) doing 300 follicles per hour it would take 100 hours to treat them all just once.

[StrainAsylum]

On 7/24/2018 at 8:51 PM, SugarMagnolia said:

Similar for me, too. But more related to choosing when to do things and trying to find the right sequence and timing: when to come out at work, when to get FFS, when to change IDs, etc.
 

 

 

I haven't actually started the physical/hormonal part of transitioning, due to a lack of insurance.  As of this month, however, I have Medicare, so that's better.  I'm just not sure HOW to start.  HRT, therapy or ?  I'm out as a trans guy to my closest friends and they seem to be OK with it (both couples are conservative and religious, so I was pleasantly surprised).  Haven't seen anyone else to talk to them about it.  LOL  Anyone come out on Facebook?

[Jani]

9 minutes ago, StrainAsylum said:

I'm just not sure HOW to start. 

 

Not to make light of it, but start at the beginning!  What could or would you do to make yourself feel better within any constraints you might have (personal, physical, financial, family)?   Do those things.  This is not a race, but a journey.  Sometimes we walk, sometimes we run.  Sometimes was actually stop to rest.  Its all good.   Personally I believe therapy is a wonderful first step as a second non-judging person can help us see things that are clouded by our own fears and paradigms.  

 

Jani

[jae bear]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

Personally I believe therapy is a wonderful first step

 Oh my goodness I could not agree with this more if I tried, the best thing I ever did was to talk with my therapist, I highly recommend a good gender therapist as a first step for anyone!  Personally my therapist meeting is the high point of my whole month, it really just is a treat for myself, I love seeing my therapist !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

[Regn]

sweat