Sigh's Story

[SighDraws]

 Hello Y'all!

My names Sigh, I just came out as Nonbinary this past May as a birthday present to myself.  I'm really lucky that my friends are supportive and eager to ask questions while respecting my boundaries, but I wanted to join a forum like this one to talk to other people who are in different stages of their journey.  Even though I love my friends very much it's nice finding a community to talk with others as peers, people who are in it,  instead of someone educating others who have little reference for trans issues.

 

My story personally took a few years.  I have always been a "tomboy" but not quite.  As a kid I was always loud, spunky, getting into scrapes and such.  But as I hit puberty the home-environment I was in severely rejected me, and so as a young adult I was desperate to feel wanted.  This made me cling to people who told me to shape myself into what they wanted me to be, and I forgot to ask myself who I wanted to be.  Obviously this was incredibly damaging, and it wasn't until I left these kinds of people was I able to heal and gain the self efficacy I needed for me to figure out whoever I am.

 

I left those abusive people behind, and for about five years I was questioning my gender representation, dressing male, female, whatever, for a few years.  I went to therapy to get my heart and head straightened out for a few years as well.  During that time I met my current partner and his friends, who all became like a big accepting family to me.  I wasn't in contact with any past abusers anymore, I had a few "wins" under my belt; like going to college and doing well in classes.  I was in a mental state of "I can do things, I can accomplish things, I am good."

 

Then suddenly my brain was kind-of like, "OK! We got the mental real estate to really think about this stuff now!! WE GOTTA CATCH UP! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!" and I experienced this really strong sudden desire to come out to EVERYBODY.  Change my birth name, get my birth certificate changed, sprint toward the "goal".

 

I know coming out isn't like that for all people, but for me, I think I had the thoughts and feelings stewing in my head for so long that once I took the time to "look at" those feelings it all came flooding out so fast.  But in a happy way.  I feel so much more confident now, my anxiety has severely subsided, and I hold my head high now.  

 

SO thats my story, I hope it inspired others who are still "working on it", thanks for letting me into the community!

[Lexi]

Hello Sigh, 

 

  I love the story. So similar yet so different. I love the bday gift. Going to be hard to top that one =P

 

Xoxo

[Jani]

Hello Sigh!  Welcome to the forum!

 

I'm sorry to hear of your past that wasn't nice.  Hopefully that's behind you now.  

8 hours ago, SighDraws said:

I was in a mental state of "I can do things, I can accomplish things, I am good."

This is a good place to be!  Feeling positivity in our lives is empowering.  Good for you!!

 

I'm glad to hear you walk with your head held proud.  You are on the way to being the best you that you can be!

 

Cheers, Jani

[SighDraws]

Thanks so much for the kind words @Jani and @Lexi !! I'm looking forward to growing more on my journey

[Jani]

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