Hard Topic

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

So several years ago I went on hormones for awhile, but had to stop because the endocrinologist was too expensive ($500 out of pocket, for a college student me meant nothing to eat). Now I'm making plenty of money and thought about going on again. But even back then I had one single problem. And it made me comfortable to quit taking them...

I like to enjoy sex, and have sexual desire and pleasure. I don't mind loss of erections (I'm going to try to keep this PG-13) as I prefer enjoying a partner without one anyways... but no interest, no pleasure, no zenith? I went to an endocrinologist and had a long talk, I asked about balancing hormones in such a way as to have a healthy sex drive for a 29 year old -- to have any interest remaining. I asked if she could boost progestrone, or maybe use a smaller dose of spiro, etc.. I put forth several suggestions. I said I'm a healthy 29 year old and I don't want to have no interest and no pleasure. She said she knew what I was asking but there's no way she knows to get around that. She has two other patients with the same problem, and she doesn't know what to do about it.

I've had two different gender therapists in the last eight years. I did not even want to go and start the process again without first talking to an endo about what might be possible. Since talking to her I'm back to my same dilemma.

I feel like, and I have felt like for years, that this choice is like being asked which of my two best friends to shoot in the head -- a major step in being a woman, or being able to enjoy sexual pleasure like a healthy human. I normally make choices based on what feels peaceful and right to me, but neither choice on this one leaves me feeling peaceful, nor have I been able to come to peace about it for a few years... I am really struggling with this one. Neither choice leaves me feeling right. I have taken small amounts of things self RXed because I sometimes think I could experiment and find a better way... I'm not peaceful doing nothing and I'm not peaceful with the way that has been presented to me!

Are there any breakthrough endocrinologists out there who have managed to balance a translady's hormones to still enjoy sex and have some desire and drive left? I hear that post op, some people use T patches designed for genetic women.. what about in the time leading up to vaginal restoration?

--Jeannine

[Guest Evan_J]

Wait? (I admit to not being this well versed in MTF goings on) You mean a post -op MtF would not be able to feel the sensation of any kind of physical apex?

[Sally]

After a successful SRS a post op MTF should experience sensation and be able to ahieve - hmmm PG-13? It's a medical term orgasim, yes even multiples, like a natal female - but not everyone does - so if sexual sensation is all you care about - never take another hormone, you have to go through the reduction of the male libito in order to develope the female.

I am sorry but like so many things in life - you can't have it both ways.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WAIT!

The TOPIC is HRT nor SRS, as I read it. Well - how about a response from someone on HRT for 5 months yesterday? ha - that's me...

Okay - I am MTF, and I admit I will permanently sacrifice the ability for having an orgasim, any time, in exchange for the right to transition. That's just me. Remember I am not a young person, and have already had a family.

BUT - there are some serious misconceptions here.

(1) HRT does remove the ejeculation part, but you can still orgasim, just no... well... physical results, although its pretty intense, about the same really. It's all in the head, mixed with certain stimualtion that you can figure out.

(2) HRT does make you sterile

(3) HRT will develop your breasts, and you WILL have female pleasure from having them stimulated - as good if not better than the old male... err... parts, because it never ends!

It's different, but it is sooooo good being a woman through HRT... never fear!

Just thought someone needed to say this - and not get too graphic.

Lizzy

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

After a successful SRS a post op MTF should experience sensation and be able to ahieve - hmmm PG-13? It's a medical term orgasim, yes even multiples, like a natal female - but not everyone does - so if sexual sensation is all you care about - never take another hormone, you have to go through the reduction of the male libito in order to develope the female.

I am sorry but like so many things in life - you can't have it both ways.

Love ya,

Sally

I'm not trying to have it both ways, I'm trying to have a healthy sex drive for a woman my age. Yes women do often have ravenous sex drives, or average ones, or somewhat below average ones... but if one takes enough T blockers, male or female, they likely won't have much sex drive. And for post menopausal women, there exists patches with but small amounts of T to help them have a sex drive again (though I believe Progesterone is often used to get this result, but some need more T. As I understand it, often T is not lacking too much in post menopausal women). Did you know that the female libido also has a lot to do with Testosterone? I think it's the ratios of T and Estrogen play into it, and though the levels differ for men and women, the ratios remain important (though I think those also differ in range for males and females).

And yes, I'm talking about HRT, *NOT* SRS. I apologize if that wasn't clear.

"male libido" versus "female libido" is an interesting question. I think it's too complicated to boil it down that way, because there are huge similarities as well as huge intra-group differences. How about we call it "a given person's libido" and we discuss the chemical conditions under which that libido functions in a healthy manner? Now there might be more progesterone laden chemical conditions with less testosterone under which it might work well, and there might be several different levels of Testosterone under which it could function, depending on how much estrogen is also present or absent. I don't know if it's actually a dynamical system or not, but I would not be surprised if it were so.

I would like to see an endocrinologist address this in a novel way, or hear of any new information or approaches to this problem that anyone has seen or heard of.

--Jeannine

[Guest Jeannine Bean]

WAIT!

The TOPIC is HRT nor SRS, as I read it. Well - how about a response from someone on HRT for 5 months yesterday? ha - that's me...

Okay - I am MTF, and I admit I will permanently sacrifice the ability for having an orgasim, any time, in exchange for the right to transition. That's just me. Remember I am not a young person, and have already had a family.

BUT - there are some serious misconceptions here.

(1) HRT does remove the ejeculation part, but you can still orgasim, just no... well... physical results, although its pretty intense, about the same really. It's all in the head, mixed with certain stimualtion that you can figure out.

(2) HRT does make you sterile

(3) HRT will develop your breasts, and you WILL have female pleasure from having them stimulated - as good if not better than the old male... err... parts, because it never ends!

It's different, but it is sooooo good being a woman through HRT... never fear!

Just thought someone needed to say this - and not get too graphic.

Lizzy

Thanks for this information. When I did it before, I got four months in and to tell the truth hadn't noticed much decrease in pleasure or even erections (but I was 24 then, LOL :-). I currently can orgasm without ejaculation due to Qi Kung methods, and find it a bit more intense than what I'd known before. I THINK I will be okay...

As for number three, I actually think many men have more sensitive nipples than many women... but just as many men hardly notice their nipples at all (as well as some women I've known seem to hardly notice them being stimulated). I always like to point out that there are such huge differences between people because -- well we're all trans here and for me keeping a mentality of "diversity within the norm" helps me feel a lot more sane and comfortable... I can't help but think a wider frame is good to look through.

So when I talk about what I want for me, I'm also trying to keep that in mind. I just know what it feels like to have no sex drive at all, from antidepressants I took some time back... and that really left me feeling less fully human. Also, some other ones I took made it incredibly difficult to have an orgasm, which also really was unhappy for me. I find that sexual pleasure is a hugely important part of my life. If I have to give it up completely... well... I just don't know how to make that decision?! I'm back to which friend do I shoot in the head, and I'm at an impossible dilemma for me..

But you seem to be doing pretty well... Thanks for your experience.

--Jeannine

[Guest Cait]

i'm glad i finally took them but i don't want any kids

i already was getting to where i had no stimulation with Desire and all.

Now, it is really getting smaller and smaller all the time.

I'm only 8 weeks in though. I guess I would technically still enjoy being with someone and have but, that was a mental satisfaction that

you can't really experience across the board...i don't know what turns everyone's engine on!

These Hormones do lead to engine failure tho...no doubt about that!

But like another poster ,I intend to go all the way and already have results...so it doesn't mean a whole lot to me if I have desire or not.

You could try some mental workouts as even now alot of my pleasure is mental satisfaction.

ALot of things are more mental than physical in the realm of Desire.

Would say I was so depressed and all before beginning HRT I had no great desire...helped me go ahead and transition to Female, as much as I can afford to.

But I don't have a prior attempt at HRT. I doubt I will quit taking mine. I live alone, have no children,etc. The thought of never having any more pleasure

bothers me, but I wasn't getting any anyway. Even when things did go differently, my feelings of wanting to be Female pretty much have plagued me.

When I finally did have girlfriends at a later stage than my peers, I still ended up going this way.

Probably no "one size fits all" thing to be TG. I just learned I had hurt people's feelings by not recognizing the different levels of being a transgendered

person, so there's always more to learn I guess.

Cait