Hi

[mochi90]

Hi, I'm Mochi. I'm 28 years old, AFAB, and just recently came to the realization that I'm FtM transgender. I'm sure it's a story you're all familiar with: Growing up I had male interests, wanted to wear male clothing, and in general considered myself one of the guys. I didn't fit in with other girls, but since everyone said I was one, especially my mother who was abusive, I figured that I must be one. As a teenager, I cut my hair short for the first time and had the idea that I would like to present as male. But at the time, I was overwhelmed with coming to terms with my sexuality and struggling with undiagnosed mental disorders. So I pushed the thought away.

About two months ago, I made the decision that I wanted to be more active in the LGBT community and checked out the book The ABCs of LGBT+, and while reading it I started to realize that I had been experiencing gender and social dysphoria my whole life without ever knowing it. Soon after, I began researching non-binary and genderqueer identities and came to the realization that I am trans. 

[MaryEllen]

Hello mochi,

Welcome to TransPulse. Thanks for sharing. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

 

MaryEllen

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Mochi.  I'm glad you found this place, because I think it will help you in your search for the  right path to follow.  There are many of us here who didn't get things figured out until later in life, and of course at 28 you're not nearly as "late" as me or others.  I did know at an early age, but didn't begin my journey to womanhood until 55.

 

Please look around, participate to the extent you're comfortable, and ask all the questions you like.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jani]

Greetings Mochi and welcome to the forum.  As you note, your story is similar to many of us here.  You're among friends.  Being overwhelmed with what you are experiencing and learning about yourself, as you note is certainly a challenge.  Pushing it away and taking to break to focus on other matters was a good idea.  

 

As to recently coming to the realization of where your dysphoria was centered is not unusual.  Sometimes we can't see clearly what is in front of us.  Think of the saying "Fish see water last".  But once the realization sets in, it all becomes clear and we have a path.  I suggest reading and learning what you can.  We have a good crowd of guys here that can assist in any specific questions you have, and of course us gals will chime in as we can!

 

Cheers, Jani 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Mochi,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[Charlize]

Welcome Mochi.  Spend some time here.  That helped me.  One of the things that helped me was seeing a gender therapist.  Simply being able to speak to others about our issues without being judged.  

Simply knowing I’m not alone was wonderful.

 

Hugs

 

Charlize

[mochi90]

Thank you, for all the kind welcomes, guys! 

 

I am trying to educate myself as much as possible by reading and reaching out to other members of the transgender community. That's why I joined this forum. My therapist is working to place me in LGBT therapy, and after doing some research I managed to find one in my area who accepts my insurance. 

[Nykoli55]

Hi Mochi!

Looks like you are pro active in getting the support and information you need. Super inspiring. 

[ChickenLittle]

Hi Mochi!

 

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm not sure if you knew, but the author of the ABCs of LGBT has a YouTube channel and they talk about a lot of trans issues there. They go by Ash now.