Regrets, anyone?

[StrainAsylum]

Just wondering if anyone here has had any regrets following their transition?  While doing research, I looked for information on those with regrets or who had retransitioned, but there's not a lot of information that is verifiable. 

 

Conservatives, of course, say there are a good many who are sorry they did and either retransition or commit suicide.  Other sources say that less than 1% regret transitioning.  I can't find information on any studies that have followed up on those who have transitioned.  There was one done a while back, but it had was only about 230 subjects and was limited to trans women.

 

I don't care whether trans men or trans women, by the way.  Just, are you happy?  Would you do it again?

[Carolyn Marie]

In a word, nope!  A resounding nope, in fact  Thanks for asking.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jani]

Regrets?  No!  No, no, no and No!  
 

Let me restate that.  NO!

 

I'm very happy to finally be me.

Jani

[Rachael]

I am  just over a year on hrt. It has made things,  life in general so much better. No regrets here.?

It is a decision only you can make. 

Good luck. 

[jae bear]

 Oh goodness I can answer this question very easily !

 That’s a big fat no, followed by several more no’s and then a final no...

I have no regrets, lots and lots of difficult things have happened but I have no regrets about my decision to transition and my continued forward progress!

 Thanks for asking, 

 Jackie 

[VickySGV]

No regrets but a few little things I did not think about, and no one told me about ahead of time are nuisances I can do without, but I have gotten to where I just consider it the price I have to pay to be a better me. 

 

People who have regrets are those who did not have realistic expectations of the surgery and other things and who demanded too much of themselves and their care givers.  There are those who have de-transitioned due to trying to save jobs, marriages, family or church relations, but their regret is not the Transition itself just the stress they could not bear in order to live their own lives. 

[Cyndee]

Regretting doing something that improved the quality of my life seems silly. I am not sure why I'm even answering this, but I suppose it may help to add my voice to those satisfied.

 

Transition for me has been a long slow process that has spanned many years now, my expectations going into this were calibrated as such.

 

Are you happy ? Why yes, I live the life I've wanted on my terms.

 

Would you do it again ? No, just once is enough !

 

C -

[Kirsten]

I have 1 regret. The fact that I waited this long to transition. Could’ve done this 15-20 years ago. Actually started back then once but never took the next steps. 

Other than that NO WAY!!! I can’t imagine being any happier than I am now in my new skin with my new life. Things can be hard, but nothing like they were before transition. To feel true happiness like I do now is a gift that I am so happy I found. And nothing will ever take that away. 

[Lizzie McTrucker]

I regret I didn't go full-time sooner. ?

[MarcieMarie12]

I can say no regrets other than wishing I had done it sooner too. I have about 20+ trans friends that feel the same. 

[DenimAndLace]

MY theory is that those who regret transition are the ones who envy the opposite sex in an erotic way.  Walt Hayer for example, in some of his more candid interviews, confesses as much about his own self and transition.  I think he thinks every transgender person is just like him (erotically driven) and therefore, no one should transition because he regrets what he did.  When people like that get to the "other side" of the fence, they realize that it's not erotically thrilling as it was before and they feel mutilated.  For those who know in their heart that they belong on the other side of the fence, regrets are generally about relationships lost, being a marginalized member of society or not being recognized well as their target gender (passing).

[Timber Wolf]

My thoughts on this are that the few who do regret probably rushed into transition and never found an understanding of themselves first. Right wing transgender antagonists have an agenda and seriously overstate things. I truly believe any numbers they do give are "cooked", and inaccurate. Where numbers are concerned, I have heard so many stories by those who have transitioned that speak of their increased comfort and happiness in life. But those stories are ignored by our detractors. But if one person says they regret it, you can bet the anti trans crown will pick up on that and run with it for all they're worth. 

 

Although I have not medically transitioned, I am living as myself with my family, and with all I've  done toward living as my true self, I do  not regret it. In fact, I'm happier and more comfortable with myself now than ever before. Why would I regret that? Sure, there are challenges and difficulties, but I can't imagine going back. That thought puts a word in my mind, "No"!

 

True studies with real numbers are needed. I'm not sure why they aren't out there, but they are really needed. Without them, it's our word against theirs in the public eye.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[ChickenLittle]

Hi there--

 

I was terrified of regretting transition. It all just seemed so final and irreversible. Like you, I did lots of research and most of what I found seemed more like scare tactics put out by anti-trans groups than actual stories from people who regretted transition. I did find a Reddit AMA from a person who transitioned to male, then later decided that they wanted to de-transition. This person didn't seem to regret the choice to transition, though. It seemed more like, okay, now I want to go back to living as a woman. And they did, and it seemed to work out fine. 

 

As for me, I am SO happy with my decision to transition. I've never felt better about myself, my life, or my choices. My depression went from being a loud roar to barely a whisper and my anxiety has improved as well. That's not to say that transition has been a walk in the park, but when I come across an obstacle now I feel better able to handle it than I would have been before.

 

For me, what worked was to take things one small step at a time, then re-evaluate my feelings as I went along. I began with wearing more masculine clothes, and liked it. Then got a more masculine haircut and liked that. I figured that if any step in the process felt uncomfortable or wrong, that I'd stop there and see what that meant for me. Starting T was very scary, but I still told myself that if I didn't like it or any of the effects, I'd just stop taking it. Prior to starting, I made a pros/cons list and thought it over lots. I opted for gel because I apply it every day and I could decide to stop immediately if I wanted, instead of waiting for a shot to wear off. As it turns out, even the things I thought would be cons are things I either don't mind or that I actively like. At this point, you couldn't pay me enough to go off of hormones! But giving myself permission to take things slowly and change my mind if I needed to really made things less intimidating. 

[DenimAndLace]

On 8/19/2018 at 7:32 PM, StrainAsylum said:

...I looked for information... Conservatives say... Other sources say... I can't find information on...

Are you happy?  Would you do it again?

 

  I get it.  I think looked at everything EVER published about transition but ultimately, I followed my own heart even though I thought it would be the end of me.  Would you be yourself ...would you go the direction you need to go even if no one had gone that way before?  If you had no one cheering you on, would you go anyway?  If you want to find data that says "DON'T" or you want to find data that says "DO", you'll find it.  But the best place to look ...the only voice to follow has to be your own.  Fear kept me petrified but I realized I was cruising towards the end of my life and I was miserable.  Now I'm alive and wishing I could recover my younger years.  Am I happy?  Yeah.  Would I do it again? Yes.  Is my life Ah-Maze-ing???  Well, it's better and I don't regret transition.  I don't even think I'd regret it if I decided to detransition.  ...Just love and embrace the person that you are.  Do what you love and don't be controlled.  Be free, be curious, be adventuresome, be kind.  Be ALIVE.

 

 

 

Just now, ChickenLittle said:

take things one small step at a time, then re-evaluate my feelings as I went along. I began with wearing more masculine clothes, and liked it. Then got a more masculine haircut and liked that. I figured that if any step in the process felt uncomfortable or wrong, that I'd stop there and see what that meant for me

 

This is superb advice!!!