I Need A Break

[mochi90]

Since my move has been put off, I have decided to make the best of a bad situation. I enrolled myself in GED school, have taken up blogging again, and am now fully out on social media and irl. 

I also saw a gender therapist for the first time, and have made the decision to go on birth control since I wanna be put on Finesteride once I start HRT. I am having an IUD put in next week, and have my first GED test on Monday. 

However, I have been running myself freaking ragged and have not been sleeping well and forgetting to take my meds because that is how busy I am with my attempt to actually have a life. How do people manage actually be fully functional adults? 

Seriously, guys, I just wanna curl up and sleep for two or three days. 

[SugarMagnolia]

Adulting isn't easy! And it's much harder when a lot is going on like you have right now. Going back to get your GED is fantastic. Congrats on making that happen. 

The best advice I can give, is to try to build in some down time for yourself. Even if it's just an hour, being able to decompress a little can make a big difference. That, and trying to build a good support network of people that you trust who make you feel better after talking with them than you did before. Easier said than done, but it helps. Lastly, finding something altruistic to donate time or money to can give you a sense of helping others that provides some additional purpose. It doesn't sound like you have much time now, but when you do that could certainly be something to look into: helping at shelters, non-profits, faith organizations if you roll that way, youth activities, etc.

Also, naps. That's what kept me going while I was doing my MBA and working full time as a software engineer. Just getting a 15 minute nap when I got home could set me up to do homework, etc. for a few hours without feeling exhausted.

Hang in there and I'm sure it will be worth it!

Julie

[Jani]

Being a grown up isn't easy!  But it seems you have a handle on it.  Getting back to school, starting blogging, seeing a therapist, you have been busy.  Take a deep breath and recount all that's going on.  For the most part you are managing well but it's important to sleep and get your medications in order.  Can you put an alarm on your phone to remind you to take them?  My spouse does this since she takes morning and evening meds and is really busy by evening time.  Try to avoid screen time a little before you hit the pillows.  It's said to be a stimulant and certainly won't help.  

 

Lastly along with Julie's recommendations, try to schedule a little ME time for yourself.   Even if to pause and reflect on the day.   Fifteen minutes will work.  

 

And really, why don't you think we wouldn't want to curl up also and get a nice long snooze!  Ahhhh!    

 

Jani

[mochi90]

Thanks for the advice, guys. 

 

I am planning on applying for a volunteer position at my local hospital. I have no idea if they will take me on, though, cause I have no actual work experience that actually counts (having a paper route is not a real job and book blogging can only be considered a hobby since it does not pay) and because of my trans status since I live in a pretty conservative area. 

 

I don't really know what to do for downtime, aside from social media or reading fan fiction. The problem with that is some social media (Twitter) is actually for my blog, and most of the fan fiction I like is aimed at AFAB cishet readers. So I've stopped reading all but one fanfiction, and that is only because the writer is truly exceptional. I tried reading books that I have an interest in that aren't intended for the blog, but since one of the career paths I am looking at is being a professional book reviewer (never gonna happen, I know) It seems important that I review everything I read. Even things like my favorite video game have begun to feel like a chore. 

[Jani]

Volunteering at a hospital is a good idea.  You don't need any specific experience.  They'll find something for you that needs doing.  

 

Continue your education in writing.  As far as professional book reviewer, that sounds a lot like someone that would be skilled in editing, so you could shoot for being an editor at some point in your career.  

 

If the gaming thing is becoming a chore, it's time to look elsewhere for fun and diversion.  

 

Jani

[SugarMagnolia]

Mochi, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: if you want to be a professional book reviewer you can totally do that. You may not get there all at once, but you CAN do that. You just need to have a plan, work SUPER hard and be creative. Easy, right? ?

 

Really, though, Jani's right. Put in the work to develop the skills and portfolio to show that you're a credible candidate and it can be a reality in time.

[mochi90]

Thanks for the support, you guys. It means a lot to me. Really. I grew up writing fan fiction and giving my friends writing advice for their own stories, and I'm slowly worldbuilding for several novels that will more than likely go unpublished. So writing and editing comes naturally to me. 

 

I really don't think I will be able to break into the writing industry, though. I'm not outgoing enough and would likely be overlooked because my ideas aren't stylish or marketable enough. Writing isn't at all about talent like I thought it was. Its about selling ideas to make money, and I'm a good enough writer to know that my ideas just aren't that great. If I wanna write about transgender and genderqueer characters, then I risk isolating the cisgender majority of readers and so on and so forth. 

[Jani]

18 hours ago, mochi90 said:

I really don't think I will be able to break into the writing industry, though. I'm not outgoing enough and would likely be overlooked because my ideas aren't stylish or marketable enough.

I don't know about that.  You don't need to be outgoing and gregarious to be a successful writer.  As an aside, think of how many actors you read about that admit they are shy and introverted, but they are successful in portraying someone else on the stage or in front of a camera.  You might write as your outgoing alter-ego!   As to being overlooked, well that is for others to decide whether you are successful in selling your work.  There is a place for everything.  Obviously you like what you write so I know there will others that feel the same.  Never underestimate yourself or your impact.  Get out there and be who you are!!!

 

Jani