Dysphoria Issues

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

So I am looking for any advise on controlling dysphoria.  I thought that I had it under control and just going about my normal days with looking for suttle changes and everything.  But for the past 4 days, I all of a sudden got hit with an extreme case of dysphoria.  All of a sudden my brain has just been on the high of go get FFS and go get it now.  Get FFS done right away. So a small part of the realistic part of me is trying to to control my dysphoria with saying no wait, give the hormones some time.  Take it slower, but my brain is like no go get FFS now.  So it's like I am fighting an internal battle.  

 

I know that I am still early in my transition since I started in January of 2018 with hormones and I am just telling myself to give it time, just give it 2 years at least, wait it out before getting any surgeries.  I do have an appt. to go talk to my therapist about this as well and see if she might be able to help me out to try to get a better handle on my dysphoria again.  With how extreme my dysphoria has been, I have not been sleeping well either.

 

Any suggestion on what I might be able to do before I do something crazy without thinking?

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Susan]

Sounds like you are trying the right thing by waiting. I know how you feel cause I feel the same way about myself and wanting thins to go faster. Keep thinking that you need to give it time and not to get it done now. Hope this help somehow. Hugs! Susan

[DenimAndLace]

I'm sorry the dragon is raging Amy.  It sucks but could you get a manicure or pedicure?  ...Have your hair done up all pretty?  ...Have a professional do your makeup?  Get away for a couple hours and do some journaling?  Do your favorite outdoor activity?  Get a new outfit?  ...Ya gotta do something to feed the desire but you have to learn to give it a snack rather than a thanksgiving feast.  It's really important to learn to love yourself, as you are, through the process of transition because you'll need to know how to do that when your "done" with all the surgeries and such.  The trap is in thinking that everything will be better when this, that or the other thing is done but it's not like that.  You'll still have people who dislike you and there will be things you dislike about yourself.  It's not utopia after some point.  Learn self control.  Learn self love.  Learn self care.  Hang in there friend.

[Susan]

I agree with demi. She has some really great ideas that I might try to do to. Thanks  demi! Susan

[Kirsten]

Yeah that’s great advice.  We all have things that we don’t like about ourselves. (Hair for me). Most people will never change the things that bother them about themselves. We do need to love who we are for who we are.

I always say the biggest thing I have learned about transition is that it’s less about going from male to female, and it’s more about being myself and loving who I am. And that includes my flaws. I really like Denimandlaces ideas about trying a treat for yourself to help combat those feelings when they come up. That’s something that can really change your day in a hot minute. And that could take care of your dysphoria at least for a while. And think about all you have already accomplished! I know you’ve helped me too. 

Flaws, dysphoria, or otherwise,  just remember you’re a great girl and that’s pretty awesome. You got this. 

Kirsten 

[Raven1981]

Thank you all for the awesome advise.  I am going to Sephora's today for a full face make over.  That place always makes me feel better and happy.  Plus the store by me, all the sales reps and makeup artist all know me very well.  So I am going to go to Sephora's.

 

A few things that I love about myself is that since coming out, my stuttering is now 100% gone.  The fact that I have stutter my whole life till I came out really shows that this is the right path and this is me.  My therapist has noticed that from when I first went to see her up to now how I stuttered alot  on the first day and now my therapist has even said that since coming out and realizing that this in fact is the right path and is me that my stutter is gone.  My therapist has said that hands down she has no problems giving me letters and see's first hand that this is what was causing my stuttering.  Then there is my confidence level has gone through the roof.  My boss as work has noticed that I am no longer second guessing myself any more and that I am right on and I do it..

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy  

[Susan]

That is great! I to love Sephora and will be going back soon to get some more makeup. The staff at the store here were awesome! Susan

[Willow]

I agree, you can't help that you have dysphoria, that's really what this is all about.  The advice I received is distraction and activity.  Anything to take your mind off the things that trouble you the most.  The less active you are, the more your mind comes to dwell on the negative.  Unfortunately, this takes time and time is often the enemy.  Hang in there, find things you can to to be active and distracted.

 

Willow

 

[Kirsten]

Awesome Amy! That’s really great. Keep your head up.  You’ll conquer your goals. And overcome your dysphoria! 

❤️❤️

[Jani]

9 hours ago, Amy LeBlanc said:

A few things that I love about myself is that since coming out, my stuttering is now 100% gone.  The fact that I have stutter my whole life till I came out really shows that this is the right path and this is me.  My therapist has noticed that from when I first went to see her up to now how I stuttered alot  on the first day and now my therapist has even said that since coming out and realizing that this in fact is the right path and is me that my stutter is gone.  My therapist has said that hands down she has no problems giving me letters and see's first hand that this is what was causing my stuttering.  Then there is my confidence level has gone through the roof.  My boss as work has noticed that I am no longer second guessing myself any more and that I am right on and I do it..

 

This is awesome!  I used to stutter as a child and into early adulthood at times.  Confidence is a wonderful elixir.  It makes so many things better!  

Jani

[Raven1981]

Thank You all for your awesome advise.  I have made an appt. with my therapist to talk to her which I am looking forward to.  I had fun at Sephora's.  I just love there work and how they really transform me.  I am still learning myself to get as good as the makeup artist at Sephora's.

 

I talked to one of my friends at work who is also Trans and we both help each other out.  Sure enough that she told me that she gets the same thing where out of the blue the raging dragon comes through.  She told me that it does go away but then it comes back, so it is off and on.  She was telling me that in her situation that she is trying to save money so it's hard for her.  I hear that, it is hard but just trying to figure out ways to make sure that I keep telling myself that this is a Journey NOT a race.

 

But this darn dysphoria is so extreme on wanting surgery and go get surgery now.  But I am fighting it so I can keep my head level and understanding.  But one good thing that I am doing is that even thou I want surgery but keeping my head clear.  I know what surgery and doing the research, knowing what is involved, where I want to do the surgeries at.  

 

I have been practicing my voice.  I have been using my computer with camera to record me and see how I sound, then I have done the super high minnie mouse talk on counting to 100 and when I force myself to stay that high and count to 100, I have noticed that by around 60, my voice starts to get back relaxed and starts dropping but it does not drop all the way back to a male sound but then close to a actual female sound.  After one round of working on my voice like that, I drink a lot of water.  I need to get a better habit of working on it every day not every so often. 

 

Will post pictures of my Sephora makeover.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Kirsten]

That’s good Amy. I get the same feelings too. One day I’ll be ok and the next everything is crazy. It’s a learning process with emotions as much as it is a journey with meds and operations and all the visual stuff. Glad you’re feeling better. ?

[Raven1981]

Thank you all once again.  A big thank you to Sephora.  my dysphoria went from raging dragon to bucking branco.  So I am feeling better.  What does everyone think about my pictures?

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Jani]

Looks nice. very natural. 

 

Jani

[VickySGV]

[Willow]

Looks very natural to me.  Great job all over.

 

Willow

[BrandiBri]

Fantastic! You rock, girl!

 

Brandi

[Raven1981]

Thank you all.  This did help out my extreme dysphoria.  Sephora was asking me what am I doing with my face cause it is so smooth and very easy for makeup now.  Other than the hormones, I have moisturize every day.  But I guess the hormones are working cause Sephora has noticed from when I first got my make over to today that my face has filled out and they can see the changes, they can see how smooth my face has become.

 

So the hormones are working well.  After my make over today, I was having the general public coming up to me and saying hi and complementing me on how I look and was even getting compliments on my hunter green dress.  Everyone keeps telling me that the dress that I am wearing in the picture really fits me very well.

 

So I am happy that I got awesome compliments from the general public and Sephora's.  I am happy at how my dysphoria has lessened now.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy 

[Charlize]

Your picture looks great and the comments you received certainly back up my perception.  As we get that kind of compliment each trip gets easier.  Enjoy your freedom.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

wanted to share that my dysphoria is coming back.  Oh man, right now I am wishing so bad that I can have the body like a cis-woman and I am really dreaming to have a vagina and get rid of this thing I have,

 

Hope to hear back

 

Amy

[Susan]

I hear ya there Amy! Sometimes I wish I could just take a longer and cut it off. But my time will come just like your will to. Hugs Susan

[Jani]

Amy, wish for the body you have!  Any other thoughts than that will drive you crazy mad. ?  Getting to the point where GRS is an option will come soon enough.  You're making great progress.  

 

Leave the surgery to Surgeons Susan!

 

Jani 

[Raven1981]

Thank You Jani

 

I am thinking on going on National Coming Out Day (October 11th) and get my ears pierced.  The amount of taking care of my ears after getting my ears pierced will take my mind off of everything.

 

Just doing the little things to keep my mind off knowing full well the dysphoria will come and go.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Susan]

Oh yea. I will JanI. And I know that day will come to. Time never stops! True? 

[Jani]

You are so right Susan!  

 

Amy having your ears pierced is a great milestone to check off!  I remember when I had mine done.  Awesome!!  

October 11 is coming up fast!  

Jani