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BrandenLeon

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i just started wearing my chest binder a week ago and it honestly feel great and natural to me. i also have been wearing boxers for a while.

i also moved my cloth form boy to girl cloths. i still like wearing girl cloths btw.

i also don't care about pronouns is that weird?

 

anyway if you people have anything could help give me tips or anything that would be helpful.

also if you have any question just ask as well.

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  • Forum Moderator

It's all right to wear the clothing you like so don't be concerned that you like both styles.  At first you want to get comfortable with the way you present, whether it is male, female, or androgynous.  Confidence is good and helpful in dealing with the ups and downs we see.

 

Jani

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  • Forum Moderator

Each journey is unique and the only way to have a full and authentic life is to be YOU. Sometimes as we free ourselves more and more from the socialization and restrictions we have faced we find our reactions and feelings changing. And that's alright. The important thing is to embrace whatever, whoever, you are and live it to the fullest.

One caveat: Only one medical study has been done of binding. Out of 1500 participants 97

% experienced medical issues resulting from binding. In spite of binding as safely as possible and by all the guidelines for some. Binding is going to do damage. There is no safe binding. often there are no symptoms prior to serious issues. So please, please minimize it as much as possible. Some of those consequences include heart attacks and chest deformation, blood vessel damage and rib fractures. Most are permanent.

Binding makes us feel better due to the symbolism our chests has for us and our past socialization as female. But in truth men are NOT flat and having a flat chest won't get you pegged as male nor will moobs get you gendered as female. I've seen a lot of guys with moobs bigger than mine totally oblivious to them and no one ever misgendered them. Also have a female close friend who had a double mastectomy for breast cancer and never had reconstruction or surgery or wears prosthesis.  She runs a farm ranch operation and is also very fit and muscled but has never once been mis-gendered. Why? Because her proportions are female. Her body language is female.

Far more important to be seen as male is chest to hip ratio. Often binding actually makes us more feminine rather than less.

I am deeply chest dysphoric but health issues related at least in part to binding for years have meant I haven't been able to bind since June.  I  can wear  UnderArmour athletic compression shirts. (Only Under Armour actually works because the material is patented. The NFL and MBA both wear them). They do a great job but allow free lung and rib movement. And do you know how many times anyone has even noticed or looked much less misgendered me? Zero.

So please don't wear a binder tight and no more than 6 to 8 hours a day at most as seldom as possible.

And celebrate the unique person that you are!

Johnny

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/27/2018 at 11:25 AM, BrandenLeon said:

i just started wearing my chest binder a week ago and it honestly feel great and natural to me. i also have been wearing boxers for a while.

i also moved my cloth form boy to girl cloths. i still like wearing girl cloths btw.

i also don't care about pronouns is that weird?

 

anyway if you people have anything could help give me tips or anything that would be helpful.

also if you have any question just ask as well.

 

I am pretty much in the same boat. I have finally realized that I feel more male and perceive myself to be male so I want to look that way on the outside. I have just started my transition process. I started wearing a binder and sometimes a sports bra (Im not very busty so it works). I FINALLY bought "mens" clothes and they are awesome!! But even though I want to be perceived as male I don't necessarily care about the pronouns. Which almost makes me feel like I'm not adequate enough to transition or like I don't meet some standard of transitioning. 

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  • Forum Moderator

There is no standard to meet or anyone to judge you for being not trans enough. This is a very wide spectrum made up of individuals with lots of different feelings and reactions.

We also often find that we change our reactions and feelings as we transition and suddenly things that didn't matter do and visa versa.

The only real reason to  transition is because you need to do so to be able to live your life true to yourself and how you feel. Whatever that is. Transition is a massive change - far more than just body or pronouns. It takes years and a lot of patience and an enormous amount of hard work. But if that is what is needed to live your life as yourself then it's more than worth it. It's like the sun coming up after a long dark night.

But there s also no time limit, no time it becomes too late and it doesn't actually make that big a difference about age-that's a myth. Except that the experiences you may miss  as a male rather than the gender you were assigned.

So take your time and think it over carefully. And then decide not by how trans you may or may not be but what you NEED to do to be at peace and happy.

Johnny

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  • 2 months later...
On 10/29/2018 at 7:12 PM, RaeAvery said:

But even though I want to be perceived as male I don't necessarily care about the pronouns. Which almost makes me feel like I'm not adequate enough to transition or like I don't meet some standard of transitioning. 

 

No worries!  You're not alone.  I very much want to (and often was, when younger and thinner) be perceived as male, but I never cared as much as the pronouns as the perception and my own feeling of satisfaction. 

 

And, yes, I WAS bouncing inside when I was frequently called "sir" by guests where I worked, though I was wearing a tennis shirt and shorts outfit that was definitely a female style.   LOVED it. 

 

Listen to JJ regarding the binding; the Under Armour athletic compression shirt sounds much healthier.

 

JJ:  Thanks for this:  "Far more important to be seen as male is chest to hip ratio."  Very good to know.

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