Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Emily michelle]

Hi everyone! I showed up at an urgent care hoping to get a rapid test but they were out I was able to schedule a test like an hour away from me. So now I’m just stuck in my car sitting in my driveway  because I checked out of the motel Already. I stood in line at urgent care for a half hour. I was number 12 in line before the opened. That was cold it was 40 degrees here this morning and this girl only wore a hoodie and leggings.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Just got back from social distancing voting. Too cold for me, 39 degrees. A lot of people were staring at me

I did this too. (although it was a bit warmer here)

I just felt like it was important to be seen.  Maybe that makes me an activist?  Don't know.

[KymmieL]

2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

this girl only wore a hoodie and leggings.

Typicall girl never dresses for the weather.  Only to look good. LOL 

 

Kymmie 

[Emily michelle]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Typicall girl never dresses for the weather.  Only to look good. LOL 

 

Kymmie 

Why would I want to dress sensible that is no fun haha.

[Elizabeth Star]

2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Typicall girl never dresses for the weather.  Only to look good. LOL 

 

Kymmie 

Why would I want to dress sensible that is no fun haha.

I wore a hoodie and leggings too. And since I also have no pockets I had to tuck my phone in my boot. I'm done dressing sensible.

[Emily michelle]

I can’t go anywhere without a purse now lol. My wife says I’m more girly than her.

 

I went and got my Covid test it came back positive despite no symptoms and isolating from my wife in a motel room. So I’m just kind of mad at the world right now. To top it off the lady called me sir 3 different times. I know I don’t pass but seriously I had a purse, purple hoodie noticeable breasts, and leggings. Oh and grey and pink tennis shoes. If she didn’t want to call me ma’am that’s fine just please don’t use sir.

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

. I know I don’t pass but seriously I had a purse, purple hoodie noticeable breasts, and leggings. Oh and grey and pink tennis shoes. If she didn’t want to call me ma’am that’s fine just please don’t use sir.

Yeah, this.

It just feels like a micro-aggression 

[Emily michelle]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Yeah, this.

It just feels like a micro-aggression 

I guess it probably was. My dysphoria was already causing all sorts of problems then that. All I could do was curl up in a ball and cry.

[Elizabeth Star]

@Emily michelleI'm so sorry. Makes me want to cry when I hear about these things. I've had it happen too.

[Elizabeth Star]

Nothing like a super long bubble bath and soft music to turn you into jello.

[MirandaB]

Does anyone ever misgender back? I'd be tempted to do that, at least on the way out. "Thanks, sir!"

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

I haven’t had much to add or felt like adding.  Sorry!

 

@KymmieLi think you got your answer or at least the next step.  Go for it!

 

@Emily michellesorry you got misgendered and got the bad news about your test.  I guess since you live in the land of ice and snow, you are going to have to start dressing for the weather.  I nice flew out of Detroit when it was -15 without the wind chill in short sleeves and a spring jacket.  Where I was going we weren’t supposed to take anything but summer uniforms.  No it didn’t bother me because I was used to it but the heat at my arrival sure did.  Good luck.

 

Willow

[Willow]

Well church will be via Facebook only today.  When the weather is nice we gather outside but it’s raining off and on so that doesn’t work.  I had a new dress to wear too.

 

Willow 

[Emily michelle]

Hi willow. It was actually 86 here but on Thursday. We’re usually at least a month and a half away from snow sometimes 2 months. The weather has been really screwy lately. 
 

Im just getting up from probably my worst night in a really long time. The last 2 days have been horrible thanks to dysphoria. I even told my wife it would be easier to end it all than deal with it. The scary thing is at 1am this morning I was ready to. My dysphoria comes from parts of me that I can’t change easily and hormones won’t help them. I don’t know why I’m 6 months on hrt and having dysphoria like this. Maybe this is related to being quarantined. I read the perfect analogy about me. I’m like a shark they can’t stop swimming or they will sink. That’s what I feel like now that I have time. I guess being busy all the time I was able to run from it. Now I can’t run from it I just don’t know how to face it.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Emily michelle said:

Im just getting up from probably my worst night in a really long time. The last 2 days have been horrible thanks to dysphoria. I even told my wife it would be easier to end it all than deal with it. The scary thing is at 1am this morning I was ready to. My dysphoria comes from parts of me that I can’t change easily and hormones won’t help them. I don’t know why I’m 6 months on hrt and having dysphoria like this. Maybe this is related to being quarantined. I read the perfect analogy about me. I’m like a shark they can’t stop swimming or they will sink. That’s what I feel like now that I have time. I guess being busy all the time I was able to run from it. Now I can’t run from it I just don’t know how to face it.

 

That sounds really familiar. I dealt with it by committing myself to becoming the person I wanted to be. Not just physically. I mean, sure, part of it was physical because I've become a gym rat but what I mean is working on myself. The person I was meant to be, but never managed to become because of my dysphoria and the boatload of depression that came with it. The point being that I've thrown myself into self-improvement to become that person and in so doing, learned about loving myself. I still have my moments and probably always will, but my quality of life is so much better now. Honestly, now it's mostly other people that bum me out. ?

 

Hugs!

[Bobbie Scott]

Wow,glad to here everyones good news. Willow, I'm sorry about your granddaughter. I lost a son in his 20s of a drug overdose. I just came up on 2 months on hrt. Breasts are starting to show. Was on hrt a year ago for 8months off and on. And quit for 3months. I freaked out too when the changes started Bri. On a positive note I came out to friend last night and she was very supportive. She's lesbian, and  I asked her for help finding friends in the trans community in my area.

[AmberM]

@Emily michelle I know for me I have felt like that where if I stopped swimming I would sink. I think the only thing that has helped is similar to what Jackie said, I started acting on what is it going to take for me to be the women that I know that I am. I am not 6 months into HRT, but I am starting to make plans of coming out fully. I know that I am going to get some push back, but it is something that I will just lean on my support system for. Do you by chance have local support groups or friends that know you are transgender that can help you out?

[Mmindy]

Good morning/afternoon wherever you are. Hugs for y’all. 

 

“Sometimes a moment of survival is about navigating between rage and joy” ― Malebo Sephod

#JoyPublicity

[Emily michelle]

3 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

@Emily michelle I know for me I have felt like that where if I stopped swimming I would sink. I think the only thing that has helped is similar to what Jackie said, I started acting on what is it going to take for me to be the women that I know that I am. I am not 6 months into HRT, but I am starting to make plans of coming out fully. I know that I am going to get some push back, but it is something that I will just lean on my support system for. Do you by chance have local support groups or friends that know you are transgender that can help you out?

I don’t know anyone that is transgender around me. I’m pretty much in small town middle America. If there is anyone who is transgender it is not spoken of I wish I could make friends with one near me. I consider everyone here my friends and support group. I’m much better this morning. I stayed busy and even started getting rid of some my old things.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Emily michelle said:

I don’t know anyone that is transgender around me. I’m pretty much in small town middle America. If there is anyone who is transgender it is not spoken of I wish I could make friends with one near me. I consider everyone here my friends and support group. I’m much better this morning. I stayed busy and even started getting rid of some my old things.

 

You'd be surprised. I've got one in my immediate friends group (who I totally clocked a year before she came out, my trans-dar is apparently that good... or maybe I just listen to what people say. One of those) another in my sister-in-law's friend group who is great and there was another hired by my gym who started Friday. There were over two-dozen in my group therapy ... group? Class? Whatever you call the group you're in group therapy with. We hide very well. We're everywhere. Like ninjas!

 

Though admittedly not super common (estimated about one in two hundred), we're out there. We hide pretty well though so you could know a couple who are still closeted or maybe even post-transition. They just don't talk about it. Heck, trans-men post-transition are basically invisible unless you look super-close. So not fair. ?‍♀️

 

I'm glad you're feeling better sweetie. Those days when the dysphoria and depression monster team up... those are just the worst. Making progress towards your goals helps a bunch.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Nicole]

22 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I went and got my Covid test it came back positive despite no symptoms and isolating from my wife in a motel room. So I’m just kind of mad at the world right now.

 

Sorry to hear.

 

Also sorry about the dysphoria. The other night, I saw a young woman at a store, the most gorgeous delicate legs and sandals imo, and what looked like a really nice light dress or skirt peeking out from below her hoodie. Kept accidentally running across her and her guy friend all the way through the store. Couldn't tell if it was envy or loneliness, probably both, but the very sight made me hurt so bad, by the time I got back to the car I was nearly in tears (and that's without any HRT). I've been having things like that happen more and more lately, and more intensely. And the fact that it never used to be like this can make it all the more confusing and disconcerting.

 

So to quote one of my favorite old PBS shows: "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together." And also remember, checking out is the surest way to guarantee you won't get to fully transition. Hang in there, girl.

 

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Heck, trans-men post-transition are basically invisible unless you look super-close. So not fair. ?‍♀️

 

So are a lot of the younger trans-women who started early. Again, not fair!  

 

And once in a while you do come across someone who you just can't figure out their gender. They could very well be non-binary or mid-transition, or some such!

[KendraML]

Being there for a friend of mine,Gretchen.She is a good friend of mine with two boys (15 and 13) whom are like me,like wearing feminine clothing and decided they both want to live and dress as girls fulltime.Both find the boys clothing boring to wear and like the girl's clothing more.Went dress shopping with them for support today,she decided to take them dress shopping.Gretchen is supportive of their decision as well seeing they will be happy living and dressing as girls fulltime starting November 1st.Everything is looking good although dad isn't supportive.Know they both have support from me.Her oldest,has the make up down very well and has picked the name Ashley.Even good at walking in heels now.The youngest,has picked the name Cassie.Both even had their ears pierced 5 weeks ago.I see Gretchen doing good being a proud mom of two MTF daughters

[KymmieL]

3 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

So are a lot of the younger trans-women who started early. Again, not fair! 

 

I hear ya sister. I wish I would have known sooner. Than 52. Wish I realized it when I was a teen.

 

Well woke up twice last night to no power first, 4:45 so went down stairs to set my phones alarm. about 5am the power came back on. So I reset my alarm clock and went back to bed for an hour. Woke up at 5:30 to no power again. SO I stayed up. Oh, I didn't mention that we have about 4-6 inches of snow. I leave for work. Work has power. when I pulled in. The boss was there. MMMMM

 

He was called by the alarm dept. and was asked to check it. so after digging his new Cherokee out. he shows up. To find computer is down. So we finally get it up and running but one computer is not coming up. Of course the one that has the inventory and POS* system on it. So we have to use manual invoices and use voice authorization for credit cards. And we where slammed. We had to use the on line system to get prices. But now finally home. 3 degrees, and still snowing. Thankfully my explorer has remote start.

 

Kymmie

 

* point of sale, get your minds out of the gutter.

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

* point of sale, get your minds out of the gutter.

 

I refuse. Also a computer can be two things.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

@KymmieL

Sounds like your pos needs an apc bbu so the pos doesn’t die again.  Oh and the alarm system too.

 

brr to cold for me.  

 

ok I’m out of three letter terms.  Have a great Wednesday?.