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Starting Therapy?


CallMeKai

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I am debating on starting gender therapy, because I feel like I just need someone real to talk to that understands some of what I am going through. However I am only out to a small group of friends and I am underaged meaning that I would have to ask my parents to sign me up and they would question me and I am 70% sure tha

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sorry I accidently posted that too soon.

I am 70% sure that they would not be supportive and react poorly. I also want a professionals advice on if I should start transitioning and when I should come out to everyone. 

I think that to get to gender therapy I would have to come out to my parents and I am not ready for that. Do I just ask them to go to a regular therapist and hope they can answer my questions or do I try to talk to my parents? 

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  • Forum Moderator

If I recall you are a junior in HS, so maybe 17?  You could ask to go to discuss some stress in your life.  You may be asked to clarify this by your parents though so maybe say school and the future (college?) is something you are needing to wrap your head around.  There are daunting times for young people as they prepare for 'tomorrow".   You could see a "regular" therapist for Anxiety, which to be honest is what my therapist coded my meetings as.  And it was a true reason.  

 

You say are fairly certain your parents would not be supportive.  If this is for religious reasons then personally I wouldn't bring up the subject as you don't want to expose yourself to harsh words or "conversion therapy" which many religious types feel will solve the issue.   

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  • Forum Moderator

I think Jani has a good idea to just get into see a general therapist for general or common reasons. Once there (hopefully without your parents),  you could bring up transitioning.  If that therapist has no specialty in that area, they may likely give you a referral to a therapist who is.  The true reason of switching therapists would not have to be revealed to your parents unless you felt comfortable with it.  You'll also be able to discuss the best approach to come out to your parents in your specific situation down the road.  You're not trying to be sneaky here.  You simply want to preserve your privacy.

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  • Admin

I agree with both Jani and Susan.  You're in a tight spot, and their approach seems the best and most practical way around having to come out to your parents.  Hopefully, whatever therapist you end up with will have at least some knowledge of trans issues, or you could encourage them to read up on it (the WPATH Standards of Care).  I wish you luck, hon.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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If you can, you could also do a bit of research and pick a "normal" therapist who you know is at least LGBTQI+ friendly (you could say they've got good reviews or look friendly if your parents ask why you want to go to them specifically). Depends on your situation and options but that might make it a bit easier to come out to the therapist and they may be more likely to have had trans clients before (so know more about it).

 

Goodluck!

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