Black-Tie-Smart Dress Help!

[Naomi Knowles]

Couple weeks ago I cheerfully said yes to a 3-course meal works Christmas party on the 21st of December (2018) without really thinking too much about it. I'm confirmed to go, but now I have a problem.

 

 

I initially glazed over the fact that it's black-tie grade of ballroom smart until I just recently asked to confirm what the dress code was, which does actually put fear into me: I have nothing that matches that criteria, clothes shopping gets exhausting quickly.

 

That fear also stokes a competitive desire to take on the challenge head-on, backing down is already not an option, in my head anyway.

 

 

One plus of shopping womens' clothing is that my height (160cm) is catered for much better than in man-clothes, but it becomes an overwhelming challenge to find something that suits my features. My face is still undergoing electrolysis, but I'm sure my tech will forgive me if I shave for the event, probably. I Mean she's closed over Christmas anyway...

 

 

I've only just got hold of hormones, so there's nothing particularly feminine about my physical frame right now.

I just about fit UK size 10, which gives me some leeway in what I can maybe get away with, but not much.

 

 

 

Are there any must-have cheeky hacks for dressing for black-tie ballroom events as a Trans Woman? What are my options here?

 

 

[Charlize]

Gee i wish i could give you good advice but i've never had an opportunity (or necessity) to dress very formally.  I would suggest that you get the assistance of a cis woman whose taste you admire while shopping and enjoy yourself.  While you may not be the bell of the ball you can be a bell.  That alone is a wonderful Christmas present.

Make sure to get some pictures.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

As you have just started HRT and all, is it within your being to dress as male but with a few fem touches?  It might be easier to find or borrow clothing.  Just an idea.  As Charlize noted, don't stress over this.  

[Naomi Knowles]

4 hours ago, Charlize said:

Gee i wish i could give you good advice but i've never had an opportunity (or necessity) to dress very formally.  I would suggest that you get the assistance of a cis woman whose taste you admire while shopping and enjoy yourself.  While you may not be the bell of the ball you can be a bell.  That alone is a wonderful Christmas present.

Make sure to get some pictures.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

My male co-worker surprised me with his knowledge of dresses when I brought up my predicament, a welcome surprise really! He's put me on a few online paths, though I think I'm going to need to shop in person to really get to the bottom of this.

 

I can justify the cost as a cheeky present to myself. Because like you say: I won't be Belle of the ball, but it's a rare opportunity to dress formally, and the wide-eyed dreamer in me is bellowing at me for me to ring some 'slay bells' this year, lack of experience be darned.

 

4 hours ago, Jani said:

As you have just started HRT and all, is it within your being to dress as male but with a few fem touches?  It might be easier to find or borrow clothing.  Just an idea.  As Charlize noted, don't stress over this.  

 

Borrowing is a radical idea, I'll extend some feelers out into my circle and see what happens!

 

Sadly, taking my existing wardrobe and femming it up is not an option for me during this period in my life: I don't have anything that qualifies as ballroom-smart in my old wardrobe (my old job interview suit doesn't really cut it and I feel awkward just looking at it). I'd grudge spending £50-70 on a 3-piece suit that I'd literally wear once and then consign to the charity bag.

Better to look a little awkward in a dress and declare "I am here!" than to stew in misery for hours at an event that's meant to be fun.

[Jani]

Naomi you might look at rentals.  There are a number of online shops here and I can imagine there are in the UK as well.  My daughter in law rented dresses for recent two family weddings since buying dresses for one time use was too much.  You might rent a suit if you wanted to go that route too.  Or start at a charity or consignment shop to find something nice on the cheap.  I do hope you enjoy the shopping as much as the event itself! 

Jani

[Naomi Knowles]

Kind of relieved, but a little saddened at the same time, that it's no longer "black-tie level".

Work decided (quite rightly to be honest) that people would appreciate Christmas bonuses instead of going somewhere ball-room smart, and that we'd go somewhere upscale, at LEAST smart-casual instead. The ball-room place had alcohol practically on tap, but now that I'm on HRT, I'm sure my liver has plenty of work to do as it is ?

 

I've at least got a dress and some shoes that I think I can get away with for just that. So I get a fat holiday packet AND save stress/money on not needing to get SUPER dressed up.

I'm relatively fashion-blind, but that's a whole different kettle of fish for another time, haha

[Jani]

Well that is good news, in a way.  The extra cash is always a benefit, as is less stress in our lives.  

 

Jani