Hi

[SimplyScott]

Hi -

I just wanted to get my feet wet with a quick introduction.

There is a lot to explore on the forum and not really sure of where my story fits.

I'm 50 years old, married, with 4 beautiful children ranging from 4 to 14.

I've been aware of wanting to be female, to varying degrees, since early childhood.  Its always been there.

Over the past 2-3 years I've found myself less able (or maybe just less willing) to push these feelings aside.

In the past year I began buying more feminine clothes, some of them on the sly via Ebay.  

While I find it difficult to even think of broaching the topic with my wife, a much larger concern is the potential impact on my kids.  I don't see how "coming out" could possibly justify the potential effects it could have on them.    Perhaps if they were a bit older, it wouldn't be the issue it is now.

For now, I'm really just hoping to learn about other people's stories in similar situations to see if it can help give me some clarity.

Thanks,
Scott

 

 

[Anders]

Hi! It's great to have you here! I'm sure you'll find a community of caring people who truly want to help!

I understand your thoughts about coming out. Though our situations are different, I'm in somewhat of the same position where the possible outcomes don't seems worth the risk. I can't really give you any advice... but you're definitely not alone. 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Scott.  I know how you feel about coming to the realization later in life that gender issues are something you just can't ignore any more.  My time to do something about it came at the age of 55.  I, too, worried about the effect of coming out on my family.  Luckily, they stayed with me and we're doing just fine, but that isn't always the case.  Sometimes things do end badly and that can be devastating.  So think about your options for a good long while.  There is time to act on it, if that is what you wish to do.  In the meantime, have a look around and ask all the questions you want to ask.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Susan R]

Hello Scott,  It's nice to have you and thanks for sharing your story with us.  As you peruse this forum, you'll find others at a similar point in their journey.  Ultimately, most, if not all decisions to transition, are yours alone.  Like yours, my desire to transition increased to the point that it could no longer be ignored.  So, do you tell your wife, stop all together, or perhaps something else?   Can you live with the secrecy in the marriage and what happens if the need to transition increases again?  These are all hard questions that many of us have had to make on our journey.  Some would say it's not right to exclude a spouse and maybe also the children until they are old enough to process the information.  I myself came out "partially" several months ago to my wife after many months of therapy.  I say "partially" because she is unaware how far I am willing to go... and to some extent I am too.  I'm will to live with some level of secrecy until I'm ready for full disclosure.  My wife's not particularly happy about my female hormone regimen and is only now coming around to my occasional crossdressing.  I have been coming out to her slowly as the need arises.  This is only one way to do it but everyone's situation has different variables to consider.  Your situation is different from mine because my children are all in their 30's with families of thier own.  Right now, there is little impact with them living in other cities and when I see them I present male, at least for now.  IMO, you are wise to consider all possible outcomes about how this my affect your children and of course your wife. 

These are all excellent topics to explore here with others but good gender therapist is highly recommended.  I was helped greatly and you would likely benefit from one too.  Also, you might consider joining our live chat on Discord. Many of the people here frequent the live chat on occasion.  It would be nice to see you there.

 

Best of luck,

Susan R?

 

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Scott,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[SimplyScott]

On 11/25/2018 at 8:41 AM, Carolyn Marie said:

...So think about your options for a good long while.  There is time to act on it, if that is what you wish to do. 

 

Thanks, Calolyn, I will.

Thanks to all for your words and encouragement.

It's a relief to know I'm not the only one in my age group grappling with this.

 

[Willow421]

Hi Scott, i recently came out to my wife and was surprised she already had an inkling I was struggling with accepting my feminine side and she is very supportive, although she says she needs time to adjust to the VS panties. We have agreed to wait to tell our kids (15y and 20y) until the new year. All I would say is talk with your wife and work together to help your kids understand your choice. Good luck!

 

Willow

[Charlize]

Welcome Scott.  I was 63 when i finally come out to my wife and family so you certainly have lots of time.  We all have our own paths.  Yours may bring openness and honesty sooner.  I might suggest speaking to a therapist.  Mine certainly helped me as did my time here.

Glad you've joined us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Terri]

Hi Scott,  My situation sounds very similar to yours, so I would say we are in this together. ?I guess we are all here to lean on each other. Enjoy the company.

Terri

[Jani]

Hey Scott!  Its been a while.  I hope you're still out there.  We're here for you.

 

Jani