Yo

[gutteringHearthplace]

Hello internet folk, I’m Katherine. (or Kat if you’re feeling friendly?) 

I’m a seventeen year old gay trans girl (s**t) and I kind of want to die most of the time (but that’s ok riiiight)

 

I haven’t had much progress transitioning since I came out to my parents and dysphoria is slowly shredding my soul into tinier and tinier pieces. Then my parents blocked reddit because it is obviously the epitome of the poisonous internet culture that corrupted their poor son, so now I have to find a new outlet. Technically I’m not supposed to have internet anyway (yay), but I’d been managing to get around that. However, that’s not really a possibility now.

 

Isn’t this fun.

[VickySGV]

First, welcome to the Forums, this  place is founded on suicide and self harm prevention, so you can discuss those things here as you need to to stay alive and whole.  I am 70 and can tell you right off, that staying alive is possible and can become MUCH better over time, but you have to make the time by staying alive.  Your state is far from the most welcoming or easy place to be Trans, that is for sure, but there are people there who are learning about who we really are and becoming more accepting.  You have only another year to go under your parent's "control" so you are already closer to being you than you think.  A caution I will give though is to think of yourself as not our blocked word, but on being a happy woman who is and can be confident in herself and can be loving, not to just sex partners, but to her own unique and wonderful family which you can find.  You are worth something to us here, stay safe, and know you have a future if you give it time.

[DeeDee]

Hi Kat, well done on finding another outlet.

Please do use it, if and when you need to! I'm new here too, but can promise you everyone I have come into contact with has been amazing so far, and the forums are a goldmine of useful information!

[Susan R]

Hello Kat,  I'm sure glad you're reaching out right now.  I'm hoping you have someone in your life, a true friend, that you can confide in.  Your life is very important to more people than you probably realize.  You might seek out one of those people that you trust and confide in them if you haven't already.  You can also reach out to some of the crisis help lines out there as Vicky mentioned above..they will give you some immediate perspective on your situation and, if all goes well, relief.  There are many help lines out there but you might first try the Trans Lifeline listed near the top of our Forum index page.

You are in a temporary situation which will completely change in a year or two.  That sounds like a lifetime away but in the entire spectrum of a life it's a drop in a pond.  My favorite saying in times of temporary crisis is.."This too will pass".  That phrase, as simple as it is, has helped me through many serious events throughout my life.

 

Susan R?

[Jani]

Hello Kat and Welcome.  I'm sorry to read you're not having fun.  But hold on, your time will come.  As my friends have noted, hang in there and use this time to read and learn as much as you can.  While I can't comment on the totality of reddit, when I've looked the trans-reddit did seem to be aggressive and at times not so nice.  You'll find we're all here to offer support and help each other on our journeys of discovery.  

 

Come back when you can and join in the talk.  

 

Cheers, Jani

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Kat,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you came!

 

Your situation may seem interminable, but you are 17 years old, probably in your senior year in High School. You're only a year from being 18 and graduation. Perhaps your first major goal might be to get out on your own and out of your parents house after your 18th birthday. This could be getting a job and an apartment, going to college, or whatever. Just getting the freedom to explore yourself could do wonders. It's really not that far away! 

 

Until then, always remember we're here.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[Charlize]

Hi Kat.  Glad you've found us.  Hang in there you are not alone!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize