Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

The Little Things


tracy_j

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

This may be more relevant over here in the UK and other countries than US, and maybe more something I imagine rather than any kind of trigger.

 

I was chatting with a friend I have made in the supermarket today, and mentioned that I was working on travelling down to see my son on the Isle of Wight, some 200 miles away (this is a fair distance for many here). She asked who did the driving, me or my husband. I answered myself (as my partner does not drive). Perhaps not an issue these days, as it would have been in the past. It is general though for men to do more of the driving than women.

 

Probably no problem really, but does make one think!

 

Tracy

Link to comment

That's probably true on this side of the pond as well although less so than it used to be. It is unfortunately one of those "who wears the pants in the family" type of things that I hope disappears in time.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Was just thinking, you can hang your painted nails out the right side driver's window as you move along, waving to the passer byes.... ? Sounds like a nice drive Tracy.

 

Hugs

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment

It’s actually kind of dependent, unfortunately, on certain classes of people these days. Often when a woman drives she is single or if her significant other is in the passenger side they might have no license, criminal background, or a suspended license. I’m not trying to reinforce any stereotype, however there’s a lot of that in certain neighborhoods. I’m definitely not interested in any guy who is questionable. I’m being much more selective than I used to be. I don’t mind driving at all. It’s nice to be pampered though and there is a certain romantic quality to having a man drive, open the door, take me by the hand while I’m stepping out. Like having my own princess carriage. For me it depends on the occasion, fancy dates or maybe a ball would make that more appropriate. Just going to the supermarket is not really a reason. Driving long distance sometimes dictates switching seats to get there safely. Here it depends on many factors but for the most part the stigma of women driving is not much of an issue anymore.

Link to comment

My wife and I each have our own car. When we take her car, she usually drives. And when we take my truck, I usually drive. But for any sort of a long trip it’s usually me that gets stuck driving. Also anytime we drive very late I drive. I have been blessed with the joy of not being able to sleep in a car. Closing my eyes in a moving vehicle makes me nauseous. ? I’ve been the overnight driver as long as I can remember. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

My partner has never driven. I am Ok with it, and in my last job I regularly drove between 100 and 140 miles a day, but I do get very tired, so have to be careful. It is one of the reasons why I finished in that job as the department service area was subject to a massive increase in area with a new contract. It was the assumption that everyone would be able to travel such distances. Roads here have improved a bit with increased motorway routes (assuming one avoids rush hours), so journey times are reduced. Countering that there is increased traffic nowdays.

 

I do agree with Josie though, in that, people are likely to make assumptions.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

    I now do virtually all of the driving for us.  My wife's disability makes it more difficult for her and while she is capable i'm probably a better driver.

     I recently hit a deer with our new car(less than 500 miles).  Ouch....but fortunately no noticeable damage.  I called the police anyway as it was nighttime and i wasn't able to make a good inspection.  It is amazing how much nicer they are to a woman than they used to be when i presented male.  My purse had flown off the front passenger seat to a space below the dashboard. No License!   Not a problem, no ticket!   What a difference!  

    I have fun driving the dump truck as well.  Women smile and men seem to simply give me space.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Kirsten said:

My wife and I each have our own car. When we take her car, she usually drives. And when we take my truck, I usually drive. But for any sort of a long trip it’s usually me that gets stuck driving. Also anytime we drive very late I drive. I have been blessed with the joy of not being able to sleep in a car. Closing my eyes in a moving vehicle makes me nauseous. ? I’ve been the overnight driver as long as I can remember. 

 

Kirsten, are we the same people???  It's exactly as I would have written it.  Right down to the truck.  And the sleeping in a moving vehicle.  Although it's also a trust factor with me regarding sleeping while my spouse drives.    She can fall asleep in less than the blink of an eye.  She can fall asleep walking!!  She's a better driver than me, but that sleep thing scares me. 

Link to comment

Lol that’s funny. My wife thinks she’s the best driver in the world, but I’m usually pretty scared with her. Nothing to do with sleep though. She just seems like she’s never paying any attention to what’s going on. But she’s never had a ticket or accident so that trumps me. 

Link to comment

In the US, there's just too much power given up when you can't drive.  I wasn't willing to be in that position - as someone who is currently a phenotypic female, I feel all concessions of power very keenly - so I got my license.

 

I take driving very seriously - I'm in a multi-ton missile, after all, and it's definitely a lethal weapon.  After I got my license, I took some high-performance driving schools so I could better learn how to control it.  I bicycle or ride a motorcycle for commuting, though. 

My husband was a race driver and a high-performance driving instructor when he was young, so his awareness and smoothness are pleasing.  Being a passenger with anyone else puts my teeth on edge.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm glad to hear you take driving seriously.  So many people don't.   I raced cars for years and I am a terrible passenger at speed.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

So, you all don't get the fire team disease? It is when you are riding in a vehicle for 10 minutes and you are asleep. A term that I learned in the service.

 

Anyway I am the usual one to drive. especially in bad weather. It come from PTSD from an incident that happened in the service. I do however let my wife drive when I am tired. Other than that I drive. I am a very nervous passenger.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 189 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
      Congratulations! and Happy Trans Birthday @LittleSam! That is such a BIG milestone.  I can still remember walking out of my clinic with my first HRT presciption.  I was on Cloud-9.  Wishing you all the best in the start of your new Journey!
    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...