Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming out as trans later in life


Roadster

Recommended Posts

I had a story growing up that sounds like a lot of other stories I've read.  A tomboy who was assured it was all a phase.  People didn't talk about trans stuff in the Midwest in the '70s and '80s, so I learned to act like a girl and move on.

 

Now, thanks to the Kids These Days, I have a vocabulary and a kick in the pants, so after spending some time talking to a therapist about my dysphoria, I'm coming out as trans in my 40s.  I came out to my best friend mid last year, and she was 100% unsurprised and 100% supportive.  I've come out to my husband and my sister, and I'm going to come out to my boss next week, because I could really use her support and guidance in coming out overall at work.  I have an appointment in February with the local clinic to consult on starting testosterone.


I'm scared and excited.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Forums, it sounds like life is moving ahead for you.  Enjoy your time here.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Glad you found us, Roadster.  It's never too late to come out as trans.  I'm 56 and just now starting on my transition.  There's a few things that are harder when you start late in life but persistence in king when you want to be your true self.  Keep us updated on your progress along the way if you feel like it.  We'd all love to hear more.

 

Warm Regards, 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Admin

Should have mentioned I just hit 71 and feel 30 years younger.  Started Transition at 61, so you are a youngster by my reckoning.  It is never too late to be U!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Roadster,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you came along!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

I came out at 49 and couldn't be happier. Best of luck on your journey and welcome to the forums!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome aboard Roadster.  I'm glad you're here.  You are certainly moving along well.  Great!

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I was going to ask what kind of roadster do you have, or see yourself as?  I was thinking of automobiles but I see your avatar has a bike.  My kind of guy! 

 

Jani 

Link to comment

I have a Miata - I like to slide around. :) But I do also have motorcycles.  I do a little of everything - dirt, track, street, flat track, etc.  The profile pic is from a motorcycle track day at Sears Point.

Link to comment

Hey roadster. Welcome to the site. I started coming out a few months ago and just 2 weeks ago and had the same reaction. I am 55 right now so I got ya beat. Lol?

Link to comment

Ha, this is all great to hear.  All of the stories I was hearing on social media - and they're lovely and inspiring, don't get me wrong (I love jammidodger's YouTube channel) - were teens to twenties, so it's nice to come across some folk in my bracket.

Link to comment

There are some big pluses to coming out later, too: you generally know yourself better, have better coping skills, better planning skills, more patience, usually more financial and housing stability, and have more overall life experience.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Roadster said:

I have a Miata - I like to slide around. :) But I do also have motorcycles. 

Cool.  I have a Miata too, a '95 M.  I've sold my bikes but I keep looking at Ducati Monster or Supersport.  My BIL has a Diavel and I love the sound and its handling.  I've also thought of building a cafe racer out of an older Honda CB450 twin.  Decisions, decisions.

 

Julie is right about coming out later in life.  I know I could not have done it sooner.  And I certainly wouldn't be where I am if I did.  However in todays environment I'm not sure how it matters much as long as you have support and patience.  I think most TG people are pretty resourceful!  ?

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I just came out last fall. now 54 I am hoping to start HRT shortly. Welcome To Transgender pulse. I am into cars and bikes too. I have a touring bike, '15 Harley Street glide. Hoping to put some miles on it as soon as the weather warms up.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Thanks, guys!

All right, thanks to the Ducati talk, I'm going to have to post some pictures.  I'll spare you my bikes over the years, because we don't have all day, but this is a picture of me on my Hyperstrada that my m'boy took of me on Highway 36 on a trip last year; a picture of my old race bike (I'm a Marvel geek), and the Multi DVT I got m'boy for Christmas (I insisted that we take the first picture of it at Starbuck's, because it's a running gag around here that all the Ducatis congregate at Starbuck's).

5.jpg

GBMC6866_2.jpg

2qcfio6.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Very cool in deed!  

OK, but how are you doing lately?  And m'boy?  Relationships can be difficult to maintain as we transition.  

 

Jani

Link to comment

Congrats, Roadster!

I'm also a (much) later in life FTM transgender person.  Good job on your start on the trek and starting with a gender therapist!  Best of luck at home and work with coming out.

 

I don't yet have a gender therapist and have only been able to look through the candy store window until now.  My Medicare just started (yes, Medicare!  I'm 60!) and live in the hinterlands of Northern Florida.  I've come out to my some of my friends here where I live and to my best friends.  My BFFs are wonderfully supportive.

 

Wish me luck with a gender therapist; I'm a wee bit uncertain of how to seek starting off on T and such, but every journey begins with a single step, yes?

 

Best of luck as you start off.

Link to comment
On 1/8/2019 at 3:37 AM, VickySGV said:

Should have mentioned I just hit 71 and feel 30 years younger.  Started Transition at 61, so you are a youngster by my reckoning.  It is never too late to be U!

 

Wow, Vicky!  You are awesome!  Thanks; it's very reassuring to hear that later-life (late middle age, these days) transitions go OK.

Link to comment
15 hours ago, Jani said:

Very cool in deed!  

OK, but how are you doing lately?  And m'boy?  Relationships can be difficult to maintain as we transition.  

 

Jani

 

I've been very frank with him about what's going on in my journey, and that I am setting things up to come out and start taking T this year. He's uncertain/unsure about how this works and how he feels, but he says he's supportive for now. We'll see. That's easy to say before I start changing physically...

 

He's very into the physical femininity of women, so that might be an issue. I've gone over this with my therapist a lot in the past year.  I would rather proactively change our relationship to friendship than have it blow up, so I'm trying to keep myself open and out there about each step.

 

It's odd, though, that day to day life has been a lot smoother. I think I'm just happier and more comfortable in myself for making the decision.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm glad to hear day to day life is good.  Removing a sense of tension has a way of doing this.  

 

IMO it seems to be harder for the married/committed guys who come out than us women.  The idea of seeming to be a gay relationship is a turn off for many guys it seems.  Whereas women don't seem to have as big an issue with it since women's relationships are different (closer?) than that of men's friendships.

 

You might be right to adjust your relationship now in order to preserve the good parts of your lives.  Regardless, more talk is certainly warranted.  I hope where ever the road takes you both it will be as friends.  

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   15 Members, 0 Anonymous, 75 Guests (See full list)

    • Lydia_R
    • Ladypcnj
    • MaryEllen
    • VickySGV
    • Ivy
    • Betty K
    • SamC
    • Jet McCartney
    • Genny
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Desert Fox
    • Ashley0616
    • Stacie.H
    • Petra Jane
    • Castaspella
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,111
    • Most Online
      8,356

    SimplyMadeloeine
    Newest Member
    SimplyMadeloeine
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. austin_4
      austin_4
      (17 years old)
    2. Britany_Relia
      Britany_Relia
      (39 years old)
    3. Emily S
      Emily S
      (67 years old)
    4. Hoof Arted
      Hoof Arted
      (22 years old)
    5. n3eeko
      n3eeko
  • Posts

    • Lydia_R
      Totally!  I started HRT 21 months ago.  I'm 53yo now.  I mostly did not want the feminine genes of my family to take me over.  I told my doctor I wanted athletic breasts.  She has kept me on fairly low doses and I'm avoiding progesterone so far.   It's mostly mental for me.  Taking the pressure off from not having erections is soothing and changes my thinking.  I just want that stuff gone.  I had fun with it, but I'm over it.   I'm extremely happy with what has happened with my breasts.  Perhaps it took more than a year, but they have a feminine, athletic appearance now.  I don't notice changes in the rest of my body.  I've always enjoyed being thin and straight and have no desire for curves.  I can dig that butch with a feminine touch look.  I was upset at cutting my hair, but I'm liking it now.   It's fun to see all these young transwomen in my environment.  Everyone has their own style and the younger generation has a style of their own compared to us older people.   OK, back to baking a pie and doing some knitting....
    • Jani
      Quite the pairings!
    • Ivy
      I have one daughter who is left handed.  But she is fairly ambidextrous.  Apparently you have to be.
    • Ivy
      The time I spent "on the street" was mostly in the woods.  I dislike cities.  Even now my "bathroom" is out in the back yard, and has been for years.  When you're used to it, it's not so bad.  Helps one keep up with the seasons. I have no desire to live on the street in a city. Most of my adult kids live in cities.  It's nice enough for a visit, but I still prefer the country.
    • Jet McCartney
      ambidextrous in all areas haha
    • Ladypcnj
      It's amazing how we can use either hand to write with, not too many people can do that.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Y'all be holding pencils like left handed people but I just hold my pens/pencils in ways that make people go "what the actual [squid]"
    • Ladypcnj
      Hi Ivy, I can relate to that holding my pencil in my left hand although I'm right-handed.
    • EasyE
      So I am two months into E therapy as of this week. What can I say? I am now a busty blond supermodel who doesn't look a day over 25. This stuff is amazing!   OK, so I exaggerate, lol ... Seriously, the effects have been subtle so far. I would say very slight "plumping" in the chest region. More pronounced feelings at times (especially anger, which I don't necessarily like). The downstairs feels ... different...  I can tell something is going on to affect that region. Things come and go. I do feel overall ... different. Still dealing with fatigue though not as much as last week...   Back story: I had treatment for head and neck cancer 20 years ago. One surgery removed a tumor in my lymph nodes. They took out a whole bunch of stuff from my neck that was anywhere close to the tumor, including part of my shoulder muscle on the left side. Since then, my shoulders are lopsided and things (i.e. my chest) tend to sag on that side. I have long joked that I had a "uni-boob". Well, maybe the other side is going to catch up a little? Right now, I wouldn't pass for female upstairs except for the uni-boob (and the fact that I keep everything shaved).    I nearly quit HRT last week. I have been pretty discouraged overall with my life, career, relationships, direction. I feel pretty rudderless at times, and nothing seems to be going anywhere. For a day, I just felt like HRT was going to add to the misery: who is going to want a "man with boobs" (I still really crave the affections of a female, which is why a lot of this is very confusing). But those feelings seemed to have passed or at least are on simmer... For now I will keep going.    I just don't think I can ever give up wanting to dress female or desiring to have a more feminine body shape. Where that leads, who the heck knows... What a strange life this is turning out to be ...
    • Lydia_R
      I've been feeling for decades about how completely awful the bathroom situation is in America.  We have these portable restrooms all over the place in the cities with people coming to empty them but there is a sewer right underneath them.  When I lived on the streets, at night if I had to go, I often walked 12 blocks to a portable restroom only to find that it is locked and then I would scour the city for a 20oz coke bottle to pee in.  It was sad when society had to fight stupid people making restrooms in parks unsafe.  It seems like things were better in the 70's.
    • Lydia_R
      Totally.   Coffee is too expensive this morning, but last month I hunted down some nice ginger and had that stored well in the meat drawer of my fridge that I don't use for meat.  Made a nice pot of ginger tea and played piano while it was boiling.   D-7  Bbmaj7  G-7  Bbmaj7  A7#9  repeat the cycle   Cmaj  Emin  Amin G  F  C/E (or is it E-?)  D (lydian!)  G   Fun stuff.  The Navy had me playing Jamiroquai's High Times on bass around South America.  Fun bass line on a 5 string bass!  I played it for the first time in 25 years the other day.  Sure was fun!  Not too into the lyrics.  Jay Kay is wonderfully melodic though.   Put on Allentown, sitting at my computer.  Someone has to do this work.  I can't really afford it, but I need a battery for my watch with hands.  I'm likely going to ride the bus there because I'm working on healing my feet.  I hate the bus, but this guy at that store can replace the battery in 20 seconds.  I'm lost without my watch.  My stupid clock in the kitchen went on "power saver" mode and the clock goes to sleep.  Not a good way to cook.  I use my watch for all kinds of things though.  I've got my old men's Timex on the ear of the stained glass owl in the entry.  It has a dead bat too.
    • Vidanjali
      "In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus   "Let nothing disturb you, nothing frighten you, all things are passing, God is unchanging. Patience gains all; nothing is lacking to those who have God: God alone suffices." -St. Teresa of Avila
    • Lydia_R
      Happy Monday!  The cycle of it all....
    • Ivy
      I wonder about this sometimes.  If it were so, they would be in their 50's by now. It's not impossible.   Guess I'm a girl with a past.
    • Ivy
      Just a casserole with macaroni and leftover hamburger.  It will last me a couple of days or more. I frequently use my wok, but in the kitchen.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...