Therapy offered, opinions and experiences

[Hellothere]

So when i came out, my mother asked if i wanted therapy.

I said sure as i dont know what doing on in my head.

nothings been done in the time between then and now. While i want to bring it up again, thats a conversation i dread. Ive never been good at opening up with the real stuff, the stuff that goes on no one knows about. I have one true friend who i have deep conversations with. The idea of therapy both teriffys me amd is a nice thought. As someone who would like to be one one day, i dont fear the idea, just the talking. If youve had therapy, how was your experience? Any opinions on the subject, positive or negitive.

[VickySGV]

In therapy, you are talking with a caring  person who wants to help you make your life better and in the long run, happier. It is a conversation that will help you to ask questions about what is going on in your life, and what you think is the best way for you to grow and live.  The one reason why therapists are helpful, it that they have learned how humans behave and react in some circumstances that may not understand when things happen.  I go to therapists every now and then when I find myself hitting a wall.  I have learned where my fears of dealing with some people began.

 

An example is when we have been bullied for years and someone being honestly nice to us confuses us.  Bullies have things they do to set us up  for bullying, and the non bully doing the same  thing  but being honestly nice is a condition we need to sort out, and the therapist can help us recognize the friend from the bully and enjoy the nice behavior.

 

As I said above, the therapist is a caring person who has learned the differences between types of caring.

[Hellothere]

I understand the confusion of niceness, and its sad that being confused about kindness is a thing. My one worry is that ill never get past the awkwardness of meeting with a new person. I find the kindest people i know will never betray me and i still convince myself that they judge my every move. I blame that on a past friend who many times judged everything i did and the feeling stuck. Even if i know their job is to understand, ill still convince myself otherwise. Do have any tips on getting past the feeling of judgement, there actully being there or judgement i made up?

[VickySGV]

The Therapist is not a person who will judge you.  Counseling is them listening carefully to you and letting you find your solution.  Tell them up front that " I am afraid of being judged but I need help to resolve my feelings of being in the wrong gender."  Memorize that one line or write it on a slip of paper and you will do fine, it is one of the best opening lines when you feel that way

 

 

[Hellothere]

Thank you!

[DeeDee]

Just now, Hellothere said:

Do have any tips on getting past the feeling of judgement, there actully being there or judgement i made up?

You can use your sessions to discuss whatever you need to, if that is trust and fear of judgement then start there and move towards other things like your gender when you are able to. You can do it.

[Hellothere]

Hello, as a follow up, i have gotten a therapist. She mostly helped with sleep on our first session. She gave me a couple articles as well. Problem is that im so used to lying, i lied about a lot of phsical things. She had a checklist thingy with things like sadness,anxiety,self harm, suicidal thoughts and such.

i lied about most.

my plan is next time ill go back over it.

thanks

[Kole Rickard]

The one thing I have learned about my therapist is that you don't have to tell her everything but try to be honest. It might take a couple therapists till you find one you bond well with and like. Its harder when you have anxiety with communication. Therapists are very open about gender and sexuality! You can tell them anything. I have learned that you don't have to keep everything inside of you. They cant tell anyone what you guys talk about unless its hurting you or someone else. 

[DeeDee]

1 hour ago, Hellothere said:

Problem is that im so used to lying, i lied about a lot of phsical things. She had a checklist thingy with things like sadness,anxiety,self harm, suicidal thoughts and such.

i lied about most.

Hello there, your therapist will quickly pick up on these things, no matter how good we think we are masking - they are trained observers and will figure out something is off over time.  Another way of looking about it is that you are accessing a service - you wouldn't take your uke into a music shop and ask them to fix it because its not working right and then lie to them about whats wrong with it. They'll eventually figure it out but it just wastes time and money for both party's. Keep trying, your honesty will make things go so much better.