TS after SRS

[LouiseRose1954]

I was once an officer in the TG social club I found to attend. During that time there were many supportive transwomen willing to support and encourage new preops.  We use to depend on them and be in awe at their sacrifice to help a newbie..Then they would go for their SRS and we would all be so happy and envious of them. They would come back and attend one event to let us know all went well. Then we did not see them again...for months. Finally I called one of them and inquired.  After speaking with them I understood.

When we first discover we need to be someone that is not reflected on the outside we think we are alone. At least I did. Maybe now with more saturation of gender change it is more common and someone may not feel so alone.  But I was alone.  I was the only one.  I was different....all my life!  My first wife was repulsed and I suppressed it, making me frustrated and violent. That led to divorce.  My second wife saw nothing wrong with it and sought to find out if it was just the clothes or did I want to be female. When it became obvious I needed to be me and me was a woman, she very quickly brought me through adolescence to womanhood.  The two of us did it together. I became more calm and at ease.  I was me. At the time it was just clothes and makeup. We did not know any other like me or that tere was support. My wife just basically raise another daughter.  It was when I started transitioning at college in my Human sex class that the instructor was impressed with me and found out I was doing it without support. She directed me to the TG scene. I first found there was a sex info hotline and two groups, one support and the other a social club. I went with the therapy group first and for the first time discovered others like me. One of them took me to their place and I made a friend and gained my first pair of thigh high boots. I also learned there was over 500 like me in the Bay Area.

I met many of them when I attended my first meeting at the social club.  As we became permanent fixtures in the club we  became involved with it. I was nominated for co-chair in Education, and through that, and having to find speakers for our once a month education event, I learned about SRS, hrt, therapists, makeup, wigs and hair, deportment and charm schools, voice coaches and speech language pathologists, fashion and image consultants, etc. We went on outings and attended demos. My wife became librarian and read everything and shared with me. I learned so much.

There was a yearly event that allowed a new transgirl to be presented to our 'society', like a debutante. It was called a cotillion. Part of it was entertainment and the drag queens came and performed for us. Part of it was a pageant, with questions, a lingerie portion, an entertainment portion and an evening gown portion. The winner represented the club in the community for a year.  I did 'I am what I am' from La Cage Aux Folles and bridged into Diana Ross' 'I'm Coming Out'. It was a great time.

But I noticed that the ones that were the backbone of the club before SRS vanished after their surgery and it bothered me. So I called one of them and had a talk with them.  One of the most negative parts of living the life we as mtf preops is someone taking offense to us and hurting us, by violence and threats, sometimes leading to death.  So it makes sense that girls having the SRS do not want to be associated with Transgirl groups or Transgirls.  All they want to do is blend in. It bothered me, but I understood.

I lived full time for nineteen years.  Even I just wanted to blend in after a while. I did not want to be a transwoman. I just wanted to be a woman, and I didn't even have the SRS. My wife and I just had to survive and I started dealing with life as a woman dealing with her wife's illness and our living situation. On hormones I went through crying all the time, being a bitch sometimes, and being attracted to men, loving to feel safe and warm in their arms. I began to just think of myself as me, having to deal with life. I was accepted as a woman. So the transition was successful, even without the SRS.

So I get where Ashley on Discord is coming from. But it still hurts to hear it. I care. I care alot.  I want to see everyone that is female inside find who they are meant to be.  I want to help if I can. I don't want to be beaten and killed, but I believe I am here to help others and if that means making myself that vulnerable to do that, then so be it.  I know where my future home is and I am ready. I have had a full, rewarding life, two wonderful wives and I am ready for the rest of eternity whenever it is my time.  But while I am here, I will be there for anyone that needs me. Both now and after SRS, if that is even possible at my age.

With love, LouiseRose

[Cyndee]

Hi Louise Rose, and good morning. I was just posting to another girl in the MTF forum about such topics, perhaps you saw that. Getting to the point of GCS (I like the term "Gender Confirmation Surgery"), is major ordeal, the planning, getting it done, then healing is all encompassing. Then when it's over speaking for myself, you just want to think of other things, you want to simply live as a woman, you move on, I withdrew from all things Trans for a while, I was giving my mind a rest in hindsight, I was burned out on transition, literately. Then slowly I returned, mostly here online, posting and trying to help others, I did go back to my old support group a few times, but it was just different by then. I think you said you are about 64 in your intro post as I recall, there are girls having the surgery in their 70's. We have a few girls here that had their surgery in their 60's. I had mine at 57, and I did just fine.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

[LouiseRose1954]

Just now, Cyndee said:

Hi Louise Rose, and good morning. I was just posting to another girl in the MTF forum about such topics, perhaps you saw that. Getting to the point of GCS (I like the term "Gender Confirmation Surgery"), is major ordeal, the planning, getting it done, then healing is all encompassing. Then when it's over speaking for myself, you just want to think of other things, you want to simply live as a woman, you move on, I withdrew from all things Trans for a while, I was giving my mind a rest in hindsight, I was burned out on transition, literately. Then slowly I returned, mostly here online, posting and trying to help others, I did go back to my old support group a few times, but it was just different by then. I think you said you are about 64 in your intro post as I recall, there are girls having the surgery in their 70's. We have a few girls here that had their surgery in their 60's. I had mine at 57, and I did just fine.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

Thank you Cyndee.  I have been out of the LGBT.... loop for seven years. I am just getting back to it and I am learning that all the groundwork we laid in the 90's really took root and grew.  There are term and abbreviations I never heard of before. Like GCS. At first I just thought that was just an NHS term from the UK. But I am learning it is all over. So SRS has become GCS. You are right. I like Confirmation better than Reassignment.  I will try to remember to use it instead.
Right now I am just trying to get moved so I can be me again, reinstate my hrt, and find out what insurance will pay for any part of the surgeries I need. That is another reason I came here to TP.  I was told there are ins. co. that will pay for the GCS.  All I know is we must be in the wrong ins. co. It takes forever to get anything. our doctor refers us to specialists instead of doing it herself. The county I was in I had one doctor and the only time she referred us to someone was if it was specialized. but my hrt she handled. Now I not only have to wade through the ins. co., but the medical group too. and no one can give me a straight answer. I have been trying for two months to get back on my hrt.  the first referral the endo decided not to accept my medical group anymore. Now I have been waiting for a replacement. I was informed the other day that the request for that which I requested a month ago had just come through and they were trying to find a suitable endo.  Finally I turned to the Gender Health Center and they have doctors coming in once a month to administer the hormones and blocker. I have also gone online to see how to naturally block testo and increase estro. Peppermint Tea has become my friend. So has canned salmon, brussel sprouts, yams, edamame, and a whole host of others. I am tired of all this testo coursing through me.  I am so frustrated I am thinking of changing doctors and ins. co. and starting counseling again.

With love, LouiseRose

[Cyndee]

Hi Louise Rose, I was able to have insurance coverage for the procedure. The key for the insurance companies, is obtaining the "GID" diagnosis and there is certain language used in the diagnosis indicating significant distress is present that deems the procedure "medically necessary", you have to prove your case to them for coverage. Having the Dr's endorsements is key, you need 2 letters of recommendation from mental health DR's for surgeons that follow WPATH as well. It's a lot to get lined up, but with persistence you can do it.

 

I love peppermint tea, BTW so soothing

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

 

 

[SugarMagnolia]

Hi LouiseRose,

I'm in the Sacramento area as well. Are you moving away or to Sacramento?

The Gender Health Center and the Sac LGBT Center are both great resources and if you haven't already found it you might appreciate the River City Gems social group as well.

Hang in there!
Julie

[LouiseRose1954]

On 2/11/2019 at 9:24 AM, Cyndee said:

Hi Louise Rose, I was able to have insurance coverage for the procedure. The key for the insurance companies, is obtaining the "GID" diagnosis and there is certain language used in the diagnosis indicating significant distress is present that deems the procedure "medically necessary", you have to prove your case to them for coverage. Having the Dr's endorsements is key, you need 2 letters of recommendation from mental health DR's for surgeons that follow WPATH as well. It's a lot to get lined up, but with persistence you can do it.

 

I love peppermint tea, BTW so soothing

 

Hugs. 

 

Cyndee -

 

 

I am hoping the Gender Health Center canh help me with all that. I did get my hrt started again there and they say  they are a 'one stop shop', so we will see..

love, LouiseRose

[Cyndee]

5 hours ago, LouiseRose1954 said:

I am hoping the Gender Health Center can help me with all that. I did get my hrt started again there and they say  they are a 'one stop shop', so we will see..

love, LouiseRose

 

Very nice, and congrats Louise Rose getting HRT going again

[LouiseRose1954]

On 2/11/2019 at 10:03 AM, SugarMagnolia said:

Hi LouiseRose,

I'm in the Sacramento area as well. Are you moving away or to Sacramento?

The Gender Health Center and the Sac LGBT Center are both great resources and if you haven't already found it you might appreciate the River City Gems social group as well.

Hang in there!
Julie

Hi Julie. Thought I had replied to this, but could not find it, so I am replying now.  We lived in Elk Grove from Feb 2016 until last Sunday. Now we are living in Sacramento, near Pick n Pull. I have chatted with the Gems and we may try to get involved, but the socials require a cost of a meal or something and I am not sure we can afford that right now. I remember the Center and Lavender Library from before. Used to hang out in New Helvetia Cafe. Guess that is gone too now. The historic firehouse is going to be home to Krispy Creme now. I am now trying to find where to go near me for hair, makeup, nails, waxing, etc. that are TG friendly. Right now, with the rain being a problem, we have only been out twice to the stores near us. There was a nail salon, but they were so busy no one came up to the front to talk to me. There may be a hair salon that does waxing but have not spoke to anyone yet. Rite Aid and Save Mart are good possibilities without having to take a bus.  There are still more stores to see on this side of the street. On the other side is McDonalds and Foods Co and more stores. It may be a few trips before we see it all.

[SugarMagnolia]

Not all of the events are that way (food purchase).

The Gems Luau will be coming up in May and that's more of a potluck thing and there's always way too much food, so that could be a good one for you to check out. There's also a bunco night in early April. That's usually a lot of fun, too. You wouldn't need to bring anything to those events.